Am AIBU to think Covid has changed us all?

[Daleksatemyshed]

I'm reading so many posts from people saying they're seeing their DH/DP's in a new light, and not for the better, people who are afraid to meet family, send their DC to school, just struggling with every day life to the point their MH is breaking down. Who would have thought a disease would do this to us?

Yanbu but for me it has been positive. Having a break has made me realise that I disliked my job, that it wasn't worth it, that a different way of life is possible.

It's made me value my friends more. It's probably made me have more time for other people.

It's probably just amplified people's behaviour - the dicks are dickier, the anxious have become more so etc.

Yawnsvillex, that comment from your children's headteacher sounds like a mantra to have lived by over the last few months. I've seen some parents talk about how worried they are about their children's general health/mental health/exam results etc while child is sitting on their knee listening to every word . Why worry/upset your child to that extent - why set them up for failure as a self fulfilling prophecy. Parents should be doing their best to mitigate their children's fears, not add to them.

It's changed me and mine for the better. DH is still working from home, so has seen more of the DC than he has since they were babies. The DC and I have grown very close - especially DD and I.

I have realised that I wasn't actually enjoying mine and the kids' hectic social lives, and have slowed down and simplified life as a result. But my DM realised, when she couldn't visit us, that actually she'd grown too reliant on us to meet her social needs and started dating again. She's met a couple of nice men and is having a whale of a time.

I realise it's an awful situation for most people, but there's been a lot of positives for us.

I think it has exposed a lack of critical thinking and people's inability to correctly interpret statistics, which I find worrying.

This, I couldn't agree more. It also includes how many people are incapable of interpreting guidelines and following advice. I'll never forget how people reacted that first weekend before Boris actually locked us all down. They did the complete opposite to what he advised and recommended, clearly showing that as a majority people just cant think critically and follow advice.

Then there's the toilet rolls and pasta, people as a whole really did surprised me as to how badly they coped with it all. Even when I had to deal with some of our customers, some were so scared, in fact even one of my employees too. Their fear over it and their way of reacting to it was very severe, I did feel worried for them and how they'd actually function during it all!!!
I mean, I worried, yes. But I did see the need to be able to find away to manage the worry and find a way to live whilst all this was going on, some just couldn't.

I don't think it's changed us significantly but I've seen a change in some more greatly affected, most of all two who've had Covid with long effects months afterwards and one friend in her twenties who shielded, had had her work massively affected and she's lost a patent. Their approach to life and work is now quiet different.

I won't forget the periods in this where I've been close to suicidal. I've had anxiety for a long time, but never this bad.

It’s made me realise how much paranoia is out there

It has made me realise how gossamer thin civility is. If you think back to the toilet roll wars, the sheer greed and selfishness of how people behaved. You look at the benign NHS clapping, a kind thing which turned into a competition or judgements about why no 9 was not out. I am sure there were lots of acts of individual kindnesses but the overarching impression has been one of division. I am wary of people now, in a way I wasn't before.

It has made me realise that the throwaway line that people behave like sheep has some validity. Some people just hear a message that is put out and repeat it parrot fashion without applying critical thought or doing own research. It has made me realise that you can't rely on "others" somewhere more knowledgeable and educated are making right decisions. It has made me realise how coercive and downright nasty the media is, including social media platforms. It has made me realise how vacuous celebrities are with their endless Tik Toking banal performances during lockdown, or those rentagobs like Piers Morgan using the pandemic and to get more global attention in his usual over hysterical way.

It has made me realise that it's ok to be an introvert. It has made me realise that I prefer a simple life. I don't miss shops (I don't go in them because of one way systems and masks) but I have massively reduced online spending too. It has made me appreciate nature, technology, books, music, the fact I can work from home. It has made me appreciate my DH. We have spent a lot of time together in a small flat with no outside space and we have got on brilliantly, which was a surprise. Commuting and the long days made us tetchy, it wasn't us!

I've been astonished by the lack of common sense. The media have been appalling with their gleeful scaremongering. I've lost all trust in the BBC.

Yes, it has changed me, but not for the better or worse. I am not scared by Coronavirus. I think I had it back in Feb and whilst it was really horrible, it is not going to stop me going about my daily life now.

Lockdown made me realise who my real friends and support network are and it made me see that I need to stop doing things for other people and focus on my own family and myself. I used to volunteer for a charity and I've given that up. That sounds horrible and selfish but my paid job has been screwed over (now not going f/t as planned due to Coronavirus) and I was doing things for others at the expense of my own health and happiness and I am not prepared to do that anymore. For the first time in my life I think that I need to take care of my self, so I can take care of my family and that is all I have the energy and mental space for coming out of this pandemic.

On the plus side - lots of needed family time, great food, some laughs and the reset button hit very hard.

I think it’s made me realize how good and compassionate most people are.

I has made me realise how fragile life really is and that for most of us our healthcare is in the hands of our leaders and decisions made by them. My mother in law is currently in a hospice at end of life. The treatment which could have given her a few more years with us and her grandchildren was withdrawn/put on hold because of Covid and now it is to late for her and many, many others.

Although it really is a pandemic, a fact not scaremongering!

I think some people can’t handle adjustment to risk, and so go a bit extreme and seem to know a lot of people who are ‘it’s all terrible fear and people are cowering in their homes’. I don’t know anyone cowering in their homes. I know people who are such an extreme risk or are ICU workers who have had to live away from family. Heart goes out to them, but they are not just silly people, they are taking very sensible steps to manage risk either to themselves or other people.

@Bellesavage

I think it has exposed a lack of critical thinking and people's inability to correctly interpret statistics, which I find worrying.

For example, I know people who are avid rock climbers and white water rafters, both hobbies that carry significant risk, but they refuse to go to Tesco

This

Also people's willingness to believe every scaremongering news headline and random people spouting their crackpot theories on FB.

@Afternooninthepark I’m sorry for your MIL. I think it is possibly one of the things that could have been better had we been more ‘concerned’ in January and February - more time to manage the health service to manage the Covid patients AND those needing cancer treatment or other care to prolong life. By ignoring it until the last minute, and getting so many cases in ICU many other service had to be diverted.

Not every country had to divert those services, because they were ‘concerned’ earlier, took the pandemic more seriously earlier, and managed health services better. We had some time because Italy was hit hard, time we did not use.

It’s changed the way I see my work colleagues. Some really stepped up and worked hard to keep the business going. Others saw the whole lockdown as a green light to refuse to come into work for spurious reasons, leaving the rest of us to pick up the slack. We had some that read that if you were over the BMI with your weight that you were more at risk with covid. Result was that some refused to come into work, who were only a little above their BMI. This was some people who I’d previously had a lot of respect for.

I saw somebody yesterday sitting on a bench in a balaclava, goggles, an industrial type mask, and rubber gloves. I thought at first he was doing something manual but he was just somebody who had taken the message Stay Alert very much to heart and had protected himself in an OTT way. The mental health repercussions are going to be huge from this.

I think the fear of dying was ramped up so much that perfectly healthy people who have a bigger chance of dying in a car crash have become fearful, terrified and hysterical. The many posts on here show how ridiculous some have become.

Yes this virus kills very vulnerable or very elderly but even in that group the statistics show still a great chance of survival.

The numbers dying of other causes seem largely ignored and the focus has been covid and nothing else seems to matter.

I agree that some people have developed into curtain twitching, nosy busy bodies, shouting at people who don't wear masks, don't do x y or z. The ones on here asking if they shout report this and that to the police. Some really nasty interfering types emerged but of course they would scream 'you will die' to anyone who attempts to raise a sane point.

I also agree that when society looks back and really looks it will be seen as a massive overreaction.

It is sad that still despite very low numbers in a population of 67 million fit young people are still very fearful and sadly their mental health has been affected.

The mental health repercussions are going to be huge from this. Isn’t that a scaremongering statement in itself?!

I've changed.

In some ways for the better.

I'm less stressed now. Before this I use to take ds swim training 6 times a week and competitions and work FT.

Getting to supermarket always felt like a chore, cooking for fuel not enjoyment, very tired and a bad diet. Worried about housework being perfect and everything being run to a military fashion.

Ok, we have less to do because swimming only just starting and no competitions and ds will be starting college.

But I've learnt how to enjoy downtime. How to relax. How going for a walk can be enjoyable and you don't need to try and arrange exiting activities .

Gone back to batch cooking and enjoying it.

Back to meals at the table with ds.

I've really taken stock and as we come out the other side and life is crazily busy again I'm going to make a conscious effort not to allow life to runaway from me again.

I'm not saying I've enjoyed this I haven't. It's been bloody hard and continues to be and there are many negatives.

But I'm certainly using the effect it's had on my MH to try and take stock and come out the other side with a more balanced lifestyle.

I also agree that when society looks back and really looks it will be seen as a massive overreaction. I honestly do not know what to say to this. Who overreacted? What specifically should not have been done? And why? Are you advocating people should have ‘just carried on’?

I've really taken stock and as we come out the other side and life is crazily busy again I'm going to make a conscious effort not to allow life to runaway from me again.

Me too, there isn’t really a terrible hardship to not visit shops all the time and do it online instead, and half of the things we were doing as a family weren’t as important as I’d once thought. There were definite costs, but as many benefits too.

I think there has been some positive change - I've never been able to arrange more than 1-2 days homeworking per month in the past; I've now been working fully from home since mid-March and at the moment it's looking like when I do return to the office it will be for 1-2 days per month only (and that won't be until next year). The benefit for me is it will enable my partner and I - he lives 200 miles away - to spend a lot more time together, as he is also WFH. So I can stay at his for a week at a time or vice versa as opposed to just weekends.

The number of businesses that have collapsed is scary though, I went to a large town on Saturday and the footfall in the shopping centre was probably a quarter of a normal weekend. It worries me as to how businesses will survive.

I do hear of a lot of people who are pretty much still terrified to leave the house, or go to a shop or restaurant, won't send their children back to school 'until it's safe', are still bleaching their shopping etc. And those fears are definitely being passed to their children too :(

I have some older relatives and friends of the family who lived through the war (albeit as very young children) or were born shortly after, and their reaction is completely different. They are out and about, trying to live their daily lives as much as possible - one said to me that as they're over 80, they wanted to make the most of the time they have left, not spend it sat at home terrified.

I agree @Livelovebehappy some people really stepped up - work colleagues, teachers at one of my children's school, care workers at family members home, some neighbours, volunteers etc ...... then others showed their lazy or negative side... some work colleagues dreadfully lazy, one school extremely poor home learning for child (despite asking constantly), some very selfish individuals.

I hope that the great individuals will see the rewards for their efforts

Our family has become closer.

I have become frustrated with litterers and selfish people though. It’s made me want to move to the middle of nowhere!