I was so rude today.... what is wrong with me?!

[Dorobie]

AIBU to think that something is wrong with me?.... For background, I’ve always been a nice chatty person, quite sociable and smiley.

For context... It’s a bank holiday, I live in a busy tourist area, I’m a teacher so have that back to school dread! (Excuses out of the way!)

Out with the family to a well know spot (let’s say the beach) where most people congregate nr the cafe/car park/playarea/ flat bits.

We made the effort to walk about 45 mins so we could get a nice quiet secluded spot and settled with our picnic.

Another family turned up right next to us and the guy asked if he could set up near us and I just flippantly said, without really thinking... not really! To be fair to him, the spot we were at had an easy get in in to water, but the area is huge and there was another bench and get in about 50metres on.

So he then said well do you own the park?... And I replied, ‘No but you did ask!... There’s another bench up there.’ My dh was looking at me in disbelief that I was getting in to an argument. So I said it’s fine, we’ll move. So we packed up our stuff quietly (Silent atmosphere!!) and went off to the new spot.

My dh thinks I was immensely rude and I don’t disagree. He even went over to them (without my knowledge) and apologised on my behalf!!!

What is wrong with me?! Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut 😫

(That was a “no, but I may be in the future”)

@thisstooshallpass

You said what you were thinking. I'm a bit mad you chose to pack up and move though, and even more mad at your husband for apologising on your behalf.

I didn’t want an atmosphere. I wanted to relax 😬

[quote Aridane]@Dorobie - but I may be in the future [/quote]
I wouldn’t mind that as you’d come and sit down quietly, not speaking 😀

Yanbu at all. He clearly knew he was too close, or he wouldn't have asked.

W were on a beach a few weeks so, rock pooling. The beach was about three miles long and the tide was out, so it was huge. Another family comes up to our rock pool, close enough that I could have touched the child - aged about 10.

I put out my arm and said 'social distancing! Could you find another rock pool while we are looking at this one?'

Bonkers.

I think YANBU he asked, I prefer directness to passive aggressive muttering. Your DH on the other hand, sorry but how dare he apologise on your behalf 😡

Tbf, you didn’t have to set up quite so close to the entrance to the water.

My exh used to always decide I was wrong in any kind of disagreement! Drove me mad!

It’s not like you screamed ‘Yes it is, get to fuck!’

he said that he was just being polite

Insincerity is not polite, it's manipulative.

Omg @tenlittlecygnets 😱 that’s batshit on your behalf

I shall probably get slated for this but can I share a hard-won strategy
(after a stranger actually sat on my picnic mat to intimidate me...)

We each take a different coloured Turkish towel/microfibre towel/picnic blanket, plus some sarongs to throw into the equation, even better with a sporty rucksack and a few other bits and pieces. Then spread out randomly, taking up a fair amount of space, surplus to actual requirements even. (to subconsciously dissuade people from entering my no-fly zone).

If abroad, I even sit at a small but safe distance from my companion, on a different coloured towel - troublesome intruders then can’t work out visually if we are together - or not

Apologies if anyone feels it’s unfair - but it’s in response to dealing with some extreme situations. Anyhow, the spreading out thing works.

This would piss me off aswell. He had the choice of all the areas. But chose to come and set up next to you? Why? Just why?

Your husband seems to have caused the problem ?

@OhTheRoses

But it is public land. The OP has no rights to any part of it and therefore no rights to tell someone else not to use a part of it even if they did ask. I think the op was exceptionally rude but accept I am outnumbered.

She didn't "tell someone else not to use it". She answered the question she was asked honestly.

OP I'd LTB if my husband EVER apologized on my behalf unless I was physically unable to offer one. I am not a child. If I feel an apology is needed, I'll make it. In your case, no apology was needed.

Omg..... I can't stop laughing. 😂😂

You were a bit rude but they do say don't ask questions you don't want the answer to eh?

I bet your husband thought he'd stepped into the twilight zone. Classic. 😂

This would piss me off aswell. He had the choice of all the areas. But chose to come and set up next to you? Why? Just why?

Why? - because the spot had easy access to the water (it’s in the OP)

Somanysocks
I know! Why do they do that? They have got the whole car park to park in and they park right next to you!!

I am more concerned your partner is apologising on your behalf - now that is rude!

id be pissed off with dh. How dare he

Perfectly reasonable and I would have done the same!

A classic case of if you don't like the answer don't ask the question on his part.
So YANBU

Wish you were my wife!

Honestly is hard and can be seen as rude. But keep practicing, it gets easier!

Staying true to yourself is essential, don’t stop, the autonomy, once you get the hang of it, is incredible

I say well done you...he asked...you told...we're all too polite sometimes and keep quiet and then sit there fuming about the situation subsequently ruining the experience for ourselves! I hope you enjoyed your day out

Your husband needs to brace himself for the menopause years...
As the oestrogen slowly slips away, I find myself being rude and blunt to all miscreants who dare to cross my path. It's almost an involuntary reflex action. As the caring hormone departs you don't give a shit either!

You were postively mild mannered in this encounter and have nothing to worry about.

@SynchroSwimmer your complex multicoloured land bagging system is genius and madness