AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

Kids will still have anal sex

This is no doubt true. How much of it for the benefit of the girls ?

@northstars how do you know the teachers are not talking about safety, boundaries and consent? I don't know any secondary teachers who do sex Ed who don't cover them?

Oh sorry, so you're all for an open and frank environment for children to discuss sex acts in great detail using what resembles an Ann Summers sex dice game, but you want to police my tone to try and make me into a homophobe. Right you are.

*I was never even taught that women could have sex with each other, so as a lesbian sex Ed was pretty excluding.

The game doesn't have the clitoris on the lists, or breasts. Despite being funded supposedly for lesbian and bi women, there doesn't seem to be much information directed towards women.*

In that case my issue with it is that there is not enough information contained within it. Not that it’s too graphic.

The bare minimum - that SOME couples engage in it, that it CAN be part of a healthy relationship but isnt required (gay OR straight - believe it or not, not all gay men like things shoved up their arses), how to do it safely, how to ensure everyone is happy and consenting, the same as any sex act.

That doesn’t sound like the bare minimum, that sounds like a pretty comprehensive picture, and exactly what we’ve all been arguing for - no?

What is the ‘level of detail’ you object to? What specifically does this resource do that you have a problem with?

And btw, talking about gay men having ‘things shoved up their arses’ is coded homophobia. Nobody talks about women having things shoved up their vaginas when discussing PIV sex, because it would be dehumanising and degrading to those who participate. The same principles apply regardless of the act or the people participating in it.

Bold fail

@Mollscroll that's why it needs to be discussed- with safety, consent etc. Not mentioning it isn't going to make it safer for the girls or make them less likely to do it. It's more likely for them to think what they see on porn hub being normal.

Decent teachers will be filling in the gaps in this inadequate material which is funded by taxpayers. Why are we paying for this ?

And having documents like this used in school contributes to the normalising. Again in this material not one mention of boundaries, safety or female pleasure.

How is it homophobic to be concerned about young girls being pressured into anal sex?

I have a 14 year old daughter. She said that girls are being told by boys that anal sex is normal and they are frigid and homophobic if they don't do it. Anal injuries are increasing in teenage girls. Thus resource does not mention that.

She would be absolutely mortified to be in this lesson. I want her to learn about consent, grooming, boundaries, coercion.

Many children will not be comfortable in this lesson and are having their boundaries overridden. Their consent not sought.

Many adults on this thread seem to be ignoring that that fact, insulating or openly stating that objecting is prudish and homophobic. Shaming and accusing those who have concerns is a a grooming tactic in itself

This resource goes far beyond the purpose of sex education and overrides safeguarding. Any teacher who would be happy teaching from a resource that does not teach about consent, boundaries, coercion and just makes out the whole thing is just good honest fun needs a safeguarding refresher.

I don't think they should have the bare minimum.
I think they should be told all about the dangers and all about how damaging porn can be and all about consent and (IN SINGLE SEX GROUPS) about safe things that can be pleasurable.
This is not a way to do that.

@Coldilox Agreed. This dice game doesn't include enough about female body parts

Decent teachers yes. But how many schools are stuffed by supply teachers or the pe teacher has to cover the math class etc

Funding and staff issues mean things can be patchy at best at times.

In 2017 the Proud Trust was awarded £99,960 for the project, called Sexuality aGender, from the government’s Tampon Tax Fund, which allocates money from VAT receipts on women’s sanitary products to projects that benefit disadvantaged women and girls.

Why is this money being misused? So women’s tampon tax is going to LGBT charities that teach sex ed. Why are LGBT charities doing that instead of something more inclusive and appropriate? It’s all very weird.

This is the full comment from ssauk

Tanya Carter a spokeswoman for Safe Schools Alliance said. ‘We would be incredibly concerned if any school actually used the Proud Trusts ‘Sex Dice’ with children aged 13 plus. This ‘resource’ clearly breaches safeguarding. High quality relationship and sex education is an important part of keeping all children safe. Education must be factual, biologically & legally accurate. When delivering RSE teachers must be mindful that there will be children in the class who have been or are currently being sexually abused or exploited and that the lessons will be triggering for them, especially if they haven’t ever disclosed their abuse. It is shocking that this was funded with money from the tampon tax, this gives the impression that it is sanctioned by the government. The tampon tax should be used to educate girls on their rights - not prematurely sexualise them. It is important that schools widely consult with parents & staff to avoid inappropriate materials such as this slipping through the net. Parents should ask to see materials if they haven’t been consulted by schools’

[quote NerrSnerr]@northstars how do you know the teachers are not talking about safety, boundaries and consent? I don't know any secondary teachers who do sex Ed who don't cover them? [/quote]
I hope teachers are doing that, but my issue is with these materials. When teachers themselves are being advised to “hold your nerve” when talking about subjects that “may seem impossible”, I question how such materials are beneficial in the first place

@TheHappyHerbivore

*That doesn’t sound like the bare minimum, that sounds like a pretty comprehensive picture, and exactly what we’ve all been arguing for - no?

What is the ‘level of detail’ you object to? What specifically does this resource do that you have a problem with?

And btw, talking about gay men having ‘things shoved up their arses’ is coded homophobia. Nobody talks about women having things shoved up their vaginas when discussing PIV sex, because it would be dehumanising and degrading to those who participate. The same principles apply regardless of the act or the people participating in it.*

Did you see the picture that was posted? That goes WAY above and beyond the bare minimum. In fact the whole thing pretty much focuses on anal sex.

BTW, people DO talk about women that way. And some people do enjoy having things 'shoved up their orifices (better?)' which is fine. But we don't need to teach kids about it in great detail, nor make them think it's expected of them.

This dice game doesn't include enough about female body parts

Correct.

So the tampon tax is being misused for sex Ed and they’re not even covering female anatomy properly? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

If this money had been used to fund some sort of sex Ed material for lesbians then I would be all for it. But it’s all about the dick. Of course.

YANBU this rush to sexualise children is disturbing.

This reminds me of the Warwickshire programme. It isn't empowering girls to say no it is grooming them to accept sex acts they may not get pleasure from or that would be safer in a long term, loving relationship
The Warwickshire programme stated that an underage girl being addicted to porn as totally normal, it said girls working in the sex industry were more confident and body positive than those who don't
Teen vogue did a 2 page spread on sex for prostrate owners and non prostrate owners, like the above, totally missing off the clitoris.
Yes we know some pupils will be gay and should be taught safe sex but not at the expense of the safety of the girls. Focus should be on relationships, consent, dangers, empowerment to say no not like adult sex game. Or squealing vanilla, like posters on here do, if a girl wants straight sex. It's the new frigid which was used in my day to persuade girls to go further than they wanted to

OP is it that you only want heteronormative PIV sex taught? Because you seem to have an issue with them talking about the anus.

I think you might need to look at the whole resource. A sothers have said it does normalise anal sex, has a focus on male expression and seems to miss out most of the female erogenous zones.

And yes, I taught sex ed to 16 - 19 year olds for about 10 years! Residential college - needed to remind them all about STDs, where the family planning clinic was, free condoms, consent and that, mostly - porn is porn. It is not what you do to a girl the first time you sleep with her! Nor is taking pictures, telling all your mates and slut shaming said more about the male than the female!

Maybe, alongsde all of this 'understanding' some people need to remember that boundaries need to be taught rather than normalisation of ALL sexual acts.

No, no, no. Some things should be learned gradually as the child becomes old enough to deal with them. I remember dumping a guy once (I was 14) who wrote me a letter detailing how to have intercourse. nothing fancy - I'd already had sex ed at school (70's) so I knew the names for everything and the general technique, but i was mortified and never spoke to him again. I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. We are pushing kids on far too fast nowadays and it strikes me as a bit sad.

BTW, people DO talk about women that way.

Ok, true - and that’s very bad, and we should condemn anyone who does so. Not say ‘it’s fine for me to use homophobic language because other people sometimes use sexist language’.

And some people do enjoy having things 'shoved up their orifices (better?)' which is fine.

I mean, better in the sense that it’s not explicitly homophobic, but still pretty horrible. Don’t you think it would be better not to talk about sex as something degrading and objectifying?

Vulva but no clitoris? A dice game written by men for men.