AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

It sounds like this document was created by porn addled, misogynistic perverts who want to groom the next generation of young women

Do people realise that by the time your children get to high school they will have encountered hard core porn? Teaching them about what sex entails and how pleasure is derived may go some way to balance out the version of sex/porn they have already encountered

Then these children have been abused the answer is to speak to parents and find our whats going on. Not to remind them to use lube surely ?

This weird attitude of "they've already been brainwashed by porn, so instead dof trying to undo the damage, let's pornify their innocent minds even more, making them an easy target for anyone to take advantage of'. You've got to wonder who is at the head of these charities

If children have been exposed to hardcore porn by the time they have got to secondary / high school, that's a massive failure on the part of the adults around them. And should be investigated.

it says soo much about the 'sex ed' teachers on here and out there that they seem desperate to normalise sex acts (that do nothing for the majority of young women except hurt them) while at the same time absolutely determined to avoid anything to do with young womens pleasure.
how funny that it didn't even figure in their arguments for this. no, not funny actually.
that sex ed teachers are that porn-addled they didnt even notice this, says so much about them- and nah i wouldnt want them near my dd.

@TomNook

Still waiting to hear how many of the critics have taught sex ed.

No, but I remember being a student of sex ed. Mouths, fingers and anus didn't come into it. It was about how reproduction occurs.

YANBU

4000% increase (in 10 years) in girls wanting to opt out of being a woman - bet its got nothing to do with society - (including their trusted sex ed teachers apparently) encouraging them to see their bodies as nothing but fuck-holes for men.

its absolutely stunning that girl's pleasure/girls anatomy was 'avoided' here and that women are defending it. Says it all.

If I had been in this lesson at 14 I think I would be quite distressed as to what is normal and expects of me. At 14 I had kissed boys. That was it. If you had told me that anal sex was expected of me I would have believed you and been terrified.

Some children will be mortified by this. Some will use it as a tool to put down their peers, by boasting about how sexually knowledgeable/ active they are. Boys will use it to make girls feel humiliated and ashamed.

I think this is an attempt to normalise sexual activity for children under the age of consent. To endorse, to impressionable young minds, a version of sex seen in porn. To endorse particular acts that, for women, can be painful & damaging and humiliating.

And we’ve lost the right to withdraw our children from it. Parents have no power to object to this sexualisation.

I think any teacher who uses it is unfit to be in a classroom: I wouldn’t want them anywhere near my kids.

Staffy1
Sometimes we have to adapt sex ed because of changes in society.
For example, 5 years ago sexting was a topic often only discussed in year 11, but after schools increasingly had safeguarding issues linked to it, many have now put the topic into year9/10. The focus isn't 'why sexting is enjoyable and how to do it'. It's a discussion about sexual images, indecent images of children, peer pressure, how to feel confident in saying no, talk to an adult if you ever feel concerned about something you've sent or received.

I do think SRE has to go beyond reproduction, but it should be covered in an age appropriate way by people without an external agenda.

I think this is an attempt to normalise sexual activity for children under the age of consent. To endorse, to impressionable young minds, a version of sex seen in porn. To endorse particular acts that, for women, can be painful & damaging and humiliating

Coupled with boundries being phobic, the removal of safe spaces even within school, and the idea of even growing up being optional can you see the recipe for disaster

@Coffeeandbeans

If I had been in this lesson at 14 I think I would be quite distressed as to what is normal and expects of me. At 14 I had kissed boys. That was it. If you had told me that anal sex was expected of me I would have believed you and been terrified.

I thought kissing was bad enough! The boy I kissed at age 15 was so bad at it, he ended up licking my face(!!) instead. I'd never done anything else before so I didn't realise that wasn't normal.

If I'd been taught about anal sex at that age, I would have been downright traumatised.

I’m not sure I would trust all teachers either. My PE teacher use to bounce on the trampoline with his knob hanging out in front of us school girls. My other PE teacher told us all to swim naked in the school pool at the Age of 12. I was never sure about the teachers holding the towels at the school showers either. So let’s not all pretend that all teachers are safe to teach our daughters about anal sex at 14.

So let’s not all pretend that all teachers are safe to teach our daughters about anal sex at 14

This puts teachers in an awful position. Do they refuse to teach it and leave it in the hands of one's ago dont see the issues and worry about the children, or do they teach it whilst feeling incredibly uncomfortable in the hope that if it comes from them hopefully they can deliver it in the best way that's possible

I can see this being really distressing for young girls who'll take away that these acts will be absolutely expected of them, lest they be labelled 'frigid', or whatever the new buzz word for someone not 'putting out' is these days

I'm furious that money that should have been spent to help women and girls has instead been spent on this 'game' by males, for males.

YANBU.

LadyH846, as I have expressed upthread, I am also very sceptical of this 'teaching aid', but I just want to say that if you are going to have representations of genitalia, then there definitely needs to be representations of the genitals of females who have undergone FGM. In my city, it was recently estimated that 95% of young women and girls under 25 from the diaspora which culturally practises FGM have undergone some kind of mutilation. Children from this diaspora form close to 50% of my school community, and many others in the city, so we must absolutely make sure that all students are represented when we teach SRE.

Research has proven time and time again that countries where sex education is dealt with in an open, direct, no nonsense manner show lower teenage pregnancies.

How about we learn from those other countries and what they do there then, rather than using questionable materials produced by creepy, extremist lobby groups?

I have worked closely with sex educational professionals in my career. They developed sex Ed materials and trained teachers to deliver them.
They were all trained in health promotion, and collaborated with social services, city councils, NHS and education. They were professionals working within this field for many years and worked within relevant public services, so it was all part of their role. The materials had to be evidence based, and went through quite a stringent period where relevant people such as safeguarding leads (not in schools, national leads with huge expertise) and others would be part of the process of developing the sex Ed strategy and materials.

The dice materials have not been developed with national safeguarding leads, by professionals. They should be immediately taken out of schools.

Research has proven time and time again that countries where sex education is dealt with in an open, direct, no nonsense manner show lower teenage pregnancies.

That is not true. Sex education which is evidence based - framed within the context of relationships and safeguarding show some effect (but not massive) on teenage pregnancies.

That is not in any way to be confused with ‘talking about sexual positions’ as if that is an evidence based strategy. It isn’t.

This dice game is not evidence based.

Just spent a few minutes reading the comments under the Times article and am struck by the many assertions that by the time children are 13 they will have probably encountered all this and more / worse, so this game is a brilliant way to enhance their education. Hmmm.

I also have had a conversation about all this with my DP (both in our early 50s). He is very sexually open and experienced, but he was aghast at the thought of things we do / explore as mature adults being introduced at the age suggested in such a manner. And he doesn't have kids of his own, so his is a "neutral adult" perspective.

There seems to be a divide between those who think there is a time and place and appropriate way of answering questions about sex and this isn't it, and those who think any caution is representative of stultifying and stigmatising sex and / or sexuality to young people.

Surely we've evolved beyond this?

They aren’t teaching ‘sex games’.
Do you know the kid kid stuff any child with a smart phone can access for free these days? We need schools Sex Ed to talk to teenagers openly about sex - we need parents to do them same but unfortunately many parents won’t.
If we don’t talk to our kids about sex, consent and pornography they’ll will get their information from their peers and the internet.

@Isthisadaggerisee

They aren’t teaching ‘sex games’. Do you know the kid kid stuff any child with a smart phone can access for free these days? We need schools Sex Ed to talk to teenagers openly about sex - we need parents to do them same but unfortunately many parents won’t. If we don’t talk to our kids about sex, consent and pornography they’ll will get their information from their peers and the internet.

Shall we do that properly, then, not badly?

‘My PE teacher use to bounce on the trampoline with his knob hanging out in front of us school girls. My other PE teacher told us all to swim naked in the school pool at the Age of 12.’

Christ, where did you go to school? ?

@AnnaFour

Penis has six different boxes and comes first on that chart, vagina is second to last on the chart and has two. Anus has more boxes than vagina. Actually the only category that has less boxes than vagina is hands and fingers.

Seems about right.

So who is this aimed at then? Certainly doesn’t seem to be young girls either straight or gay.

Oh well suppose if doesn’t matter about their sexual pleasure as long as the boys (straight and gay are catered for then that’s ok......