AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

@Marriageoftrueminds

All the posters who are saying that the dice are wrong and citing incidences of teenagers warching porn and injuring each other etc - don't you see that this is exactly what frank sex ed is trying to combat?! Don't you think that the teacher will say as part of the discussion on anal, for example, 'porn shows anal as normal and as pleasurable for women, but in real life lots of women don't enjoy it and it should never be assumed that they consent'?

Or, in relation to fisting, 'again, you may get the impression this is normal but in fact it can be dangerous and and painful'?

Why are people assuming the teacher will be promoting these practises? Do you know any teachers personally who would do that?!

Why is one of the sides of the dice 'object'? Do you think many children are thinking about putting objects into each other's orifices?

That's a really terrible idea. For some children it will cause huge embarrassment. For others, it will become an opportunity for smut and derogatory comments!

There is absolutely no reason to force children to talk about how anal sex is a normal part of sex @Marriageoftrueminds

It is not the case that encouraging ‘frank’ talk is good sex education. When that ‘frank’ talk is being dictated. The dice game is dictating to kids that anal sex is totally fine. That there should be no issue with it. A girl who is being pressurised to have anal sex, is going to feel that she should be less ‘frank’ about her own feelings after doing the dice game than before. Sex education, now we know so much more about safeguarding, can be a tool for positive, promoting as its central core consent, love, respect, etc or it can be negative when its central core is ‘any sex, anal sex, blow jobs’ are all expected and fine whatever - as it is driven by this and not by consent and help to recognise good and bad relationships.

It seems to go a bit far. I remember our mother telling us (she was a teacher) age appropriate information about sex, including using her blackboard in the kitchen at home. I am not sure schools need to do vast amount of this but I believe in state schools parents have the right to withdraw children from sex education so that might be one route for parents wo object. I remember our parents telling us about periods when I was 10 ( started mine at 13) and we rushed straight over to our 5 year old brother to tell him all about it.

There is so much wrong with this its unreal.

Docking
Inserting objects
Vulva on anus
Rimming

God, just teach them the basics - consent, safe sex, relationships, emotions, stds etc... Leave the kink for when they grow up, they're schoolkids for crying out loud. You can speak to them in an adult way without essentially recommending them kinky shit that most adults probably don't even take part in.

@clymene I know they are because I have seen kids (even young ones) do it in class! Again, the teacher isn't going to give out objects and encourage kids to shove them in their bits, are they. They are going to explain the safety aspects, don't you think?

I assume there is a section on consent, law, health and safety? On bullying and coercion? On sexual abuse? On how porn shows fantasy and is unrealistic?

Yeah

Imagine having to play that game in classroom and having to talk about what you would do with fingers and an anus

In a classroom.

Sorry will see if I can find a clearer picture. Of the game

YANBU. Totally inappropriate.

I don't think that it's homophobic to dispair about the lack of inclusion for girls in this literature.
It's attiitude to women seems to come from the 1970's, they are hardly acknowledged.

Can children excuse themselves if their parents excuse them?

After the basics, let THEM ask questions. That's how they did it in my school. We all got the basics, then the boys and girls were separated and we got male and female teachers respectively to ask questions, nothing was off limits. Why do we need to force them to be adults so soon.

@IceCreamSummer20 I didn't say they should teach that anal sex is 'normal'. In fact I pretty much said the opposite.

"The pack tells teachers: “Hold your nerve! Not all combinations will be easy to discuss and some might seem impossible. The aim is to get people talking and to limit assumptions about what kind of sex people have. Every combination is worthy of a conversation!” "

I'm old. I'm 51. This is the part of the pack that boggles my mind. Because it's not just about starting a nice healthy discussion around pleasurable sex acts, it's verging on encouraging fantasy. Tentacle porn anyone? I mean, that's an object right? Maybe throw in some marketing for where the young-uns can buy some interesting toys to help them overcome their "limits" - cos it's all just good fun you know.... and if you don't feel comfortable with it, well, obviously, there's something wrong with you......

I'm all for proper sex education, and in my book this ain't it. I agree with PPs that this is focussed way too much on the exotic and not enough on the fact that girls are being looked at primarily as receptacles for men's pleasure, rather than sex being a mutually enjoyable experience between two people who at the very least care about and respect each other.

I am not a prude. I have experimented, I have had good and bad experiences - as an adult, in my own time. As a teen in the 80s even at an all girls school I would have curled up and died if I'd had to participate in an exercise like this. Some of my classmates would have thoroughly enjoyed the power of being cool with it though.

And there's the discussion that should be had before body parts are discussed in sexual context. People use sex as a power play - yes, I know BDSM is a safe space for this - different discussion and not relevant to this one - and often it is male power over females (though not exclusively). Helping girls feel powerful enough to say no is a big big part of this, plus helping them articulate their feelings and desires with a partner about sex. If the clitoris doesn't seem to matter, it really speaks volumes about the angle of this game.

OP YANBU in the slightest.

@Marriageoftrueminds also you are hugely relying on extremely competent people who are delivering these games and products, whether they be teachers or the people who created it, who will have been trained in safeguarding and sensitively recognising when a child who is quiet and not talking is actually dying inside because her boyfriend made her have anal sex last night and now she feels even more alone because everyone else in the room is saying it is fun, and the teacher or whoever is saying that too...

It is a can of worms! Stupid dice game. Created with no evidence at all or any coordination with children’s safeguarding. Basically a bunch of people who have their own agenda, nothing to do with kids and relationships, consent, have created a game with zero evidence, zero checks on safeguarding, zero linking with good practice.

It is very, very frustrating when there are other sex education materials that have been developed within an evidence base by trained specialist and professionals!

@IceCreamSummer20 yes you absolutely are relying on that, I agree - but that is the case anyway, regardless of whether these dice are used or not.

Totally agree IceCreamSummer20

[quote Marriageoftrueminds]@IceCreamSummer20 I didn't say they should teach that anal sex is 'normal'. In fact I pretty much said the opposite.[/quote]
Tell me exactly how having the dice game this isn’t going to be ‘normal’.

YANBU. This is extremely concerning.

Sorry will see if I can find a clearer picture. Of the game

If you can that would be fantastic :)

Don't go out of your way though.

Old queen - I totally agree.

I am quite disturbed by the comments by teachers who think this is okay.

Nobody should have to play a game in which they have to think up sexual activities and say them to a group of people. Expecting teens to participate in this is teaching them that consent doesn’t matter.

I had sex education during the late eighties. We had the much tamer task of a pile of cards with different sex acts on (so at least we weren’t being made to make them up ourselves with the mockery that would subject kids to). We had to put them on to different parts of a chart depending on how much risk they put you at. My group had two boys who just spent the whole time making inappropriate comments and sticking them in the wrong places for a joke. The head teacher then got up and made some earnest speech about levels of ignorance and how this showed how it should be taught to even younger children.

If we’re going to teach sex ed, the info should come from adults, not from the teens’ forced participation.

And these kids will - most likely - not have been in sexual situations and yet they have to talk about hypothetical sexual activity (minus goodies for the girls) in a mixed sex class.

Plus one to that IceCreamSummer20. Perhaps the girl’s boyfriend would just call her a ‘prude’ too.

@IceCreamSummer20 I already have. I explained that teachers are going to say that porn has skewed the picture, anal sex can be painful and unsafe and in fact not all women enjoy it. Teachers are not going to be saying 'oh yeah anal is great, your homework is to try it yourself'.

A penis isn't. But asking teenagers to suggest how a penis and another body part might be used together for sexual gratification definitely is.

That's pornography? dear God , how does the human race survive? I was under the impression it had something to do with bringing body parts, including a penis, together for sexual gratification. How could I have missed out the stork bit all my life?

It is attitudes like this that lead to the appalling teenage pregnancy rates that we have. Teenagers are physically sexually mature, and there's going to be a lot of "bringing body parts together" whether we like it or not. Informed and considered discussion about that can only lead to improved outcomes in so many ways.