AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

I hope the teachers on this thread who are advocating this teaching are reading these responses and thinking the arguments through as part of their responsibilities as reflective practitioners. But I am also aware that many schools are outsourcing their SRE to untrained people who will come in and cover this subject while the real teachers are taking their PPA time. That is why it is so important for parents to contact their child's school to review the materials. It could be some youth worker talking to your children about anus/object interactions.

Youjustdoyou

So true. Great post

@YouJustDoYou

Oh god, I had it all too. The choking, slapping in the face, spitting... All after telling them I didn't like it. Porn teaches boys/men that we are here to be fucked, in any way they choose. And this garbage isn't any better.

Pushing the idea that anal sex is just a standard part of sex is really dangerous, for girls especially

Exactly. It makes me so, so furious, that yet again men's pleasures are put at the forefront, and girls are just vessels for them. Dangerous, damaging advice, and I would be incandescent if my girls thought they had to do anal because "it's normal"

Can somebody please post a link to a sharetoken for the times article or to the actual game? Everytime I Google it all I get is the adult sex game that it derived from.

I really can't get worked up about this. I have taught sex ed. I really don't get the logic of 'this will sexualise our teenagers'.

Learning about food will not make you fat.
Learning about the Romans won't make you go and put on a toga.
Learning about sex and consent will not make you have sex.

And, whilst we're at it, just in case anyone is confused- learning about other religions will not 'turn you into a Muslim' as some people seem to think.

Knowledge is power. Teachers are not idiots. They arw CLEARLY going to use this and other tools as part of a conversation about consent and so on. Would you rather we just let people find out for themselves like in the olden days where women would go into labour with no idea what was happening to them?!

I remember my mum being horrified at finding my copy of More magazine. I can only imagine what she would have said if this stuff had been taught at school when I was there. I feel like the days where girls can get a basic sex Ed at school and then the more detailed stuff from girls magazines (still not great but they did me okay, and it was arguably a lot better than this, because consent and female pleasure was always a focus) and talking with friends/parents are long gone.

Here it is I think

-Would you rather we just let people find out for themselves like in the olden days where women would go into labour with no idea what was happening to them?!

The dichotomy response again.

I wonder how humans managed to have happy, loving sex lives before sex ed became a thing ? I had no sex ed, yet somehow managed it, baffling... This takes all the joy out of sex and reduces it to mechanics, while teaching girls that anal sex is something they should try.
I do not want my dds “taught” like this.

Thank you Little - but I can't read that :( It's too small.

Agree with IAmFleshIAmBone

The dice game is a safeguarding issue. Children who are being abused are completely ignored in this. It is not good sex education, at all, and has no evidence of good practice to back it up. Good sex education is not getting a bunch of kids together and telling them that they have to talk about a penis on the arse. As if this is all okay and anything goes is not just normal it is expected and you as a child should be able to talk about it. It is very worrying.

Good sex education is about safety, trust, relationships and consent. The above is none of those and is a safeguarding issue.

All the posters who are saying that the dice are wrong and citing incidences of teenagers warching porn and injuring each other etc - don't you see that this is exactly what frank sex ed is trying to combat?! Don't you think that the teacher will say as part of the discussion on anal, for example, 'porn shows anal as normal and as pleasurable for women, but in real life lots of women don't enjoy it and it should never be assumed that they consent'?

Or, in relation to fisting, 'again, you may get the impression this is normal but in fact it can be dangerous and and painful'?

Why are people assuming the teacher will be promoting these practises? Do you know any teachers personally who would do that?!

Learning about sex and consent will not make you have sex

Consent doesn’t form part of this game. That’s part of the objection. If you’ve taught sex ed, read the concerns here, and still answered as you gave, then that just reinforces our concerns with the type of people teaching sex ed to our kids. You should see the issues before we do and yet you’ve completely missed them. Very concerning.

@YouJustDoYou

Pushing the idea that anal sex is just a standard part of sex is really dangerous, for girls especially

Exactly. It makes me so, so furious, that yet again men's pleasures are put at the forefront, and girls are just vessels for them. Dangerous, damaging advice, and I would be incandescent if my girls thought they had to do anal because "it's normal"

Exactly this. It is not talking about ‘sex’. It is pushing norms on a child about sexual acts with no safeguarding context whatsoever.

I do want my kids to have relationships and consent education, I want them to be able to look at what loving, respectful, intimacy is about. However the dice game is the opposite.

@MillyMollyFarmer no, what I see is lots of people assuming that the teacher won't put this in context. Obviously we do!! Why wouldn't we?

@Marriageoftrueminds indeed providing it is done alongside clear information about consent, the age of consent and the advisability of loving relationships. In my experience that is not always so and it is regrettable. Notwithstanding the points that have been made about the absence of the clitoris.

I remember only too well in the 70s being taught about the human reproduction system after a 14 year old got pregnant but there is a middle line and the middle line has been lost.

The last people I would trust in relation to my dd's moral welfare are state school teachers, school nurses and the social work brigade. They all focus it seems on the deviant and unilaterally seem to ignore the needs of the solid and caring middle.

Why are people assuming the teacher will be promoting these practises?

Child safeguarding is all about what could happen and minimising risk.

This isn't new, they've been teaching sex Ed like that for years. We had an outside agency come and do it as did the rest of the LEA. Turns out the first lesson got the kids to write down as many swear words as possible. Apparently it was to make the kids more relaxed about discussing issues. The shy and quiet kids must have hated it (I think they read some of their answers out- this was 15 yrs ago.

Awful. It's normalising a whole range of sex acts. It really shouldn't be presented as game. How about we teach about relationships? About how to choose a good partner. Christ on a bike they can figure out if they want to try fisting without the teacher playing a board game.

I'm on the fence about this. I grew up being raped and then started having sex with lots of partners at 13. I think it was about my need to feel in control about sex. I wish someone had spoken to me properly about sex rather than learning how I did. So I think sex education should be very frank. However, doing it with those dice would have put me off and had me walking out of class because it would have reminded me of the "games" my abusers played with me. Why can't we just speak to teens in an adult way about sex?

It's normalising a whole range of sex acts sex acts are normal. I don't agree with the use of dice but I do agree with having frank conversations.

Agree singersarp

@ohtheroses

'The last people I would trust in relation to my dd's moral welfare are state school teachers, school nurses and the social work brigade. They all focus it seems on the deviant and unilaterally seem to ignore the needs of the solid and caring middle.'

This is sad, I assume you have been let down massively by one of these people in order to feel this..however in fact by and large they do a great job of protecting the children in their care and often spot children who need support.