AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

This is about government funds which are supposed to be used to support women and girls being used to 'queer the classroom'.

It's a blatant misuse of funds and whoever signed this off should be investigated.

My secondary school self would have cringed in embarrassment.

Not appropriate. Techniques do not need to be taught.

What does need to be taught is that porn is not real and that girls do not have to say yes to practices that may hurt or humiliate them or simply not provide them with pleasure.

Do we still get banned for saying it's grooming?

Would you prefer we just told them sex is dirty and they should never do it?!

Literally nobody said that. In fact plenty of people have said what is a better way of discussing this or what limits there should be. Why aren’t you responding to what is being said?

I can’t get worked up about this if I’m being completely honest. As several people have pointed out- they’re going to learn about these things one way or another, why should it not be in a classroom situation where safe sex, personal hygiene and consent can also be discussed? Would you prefer that they learn about it from porn or from biased sources on the internet? Or from their first sexual relationship? I can’t see any way that this is any more inappropriate than what is usually discussed in sex Ed classes. But it IS more inclusive. As a straight woman I don’t only ever have PIV sex with my husband (nor my boyfriends prior to him), I don’t expect that lesbians women or gay men do either. Just because PIV is somehow deemed the baseline for sex, does that mean that all other types should only be spoken about is hushed tones after 9pm? Don’t be absurd. They’re not asking children to demonstrate what you can do with a penis and an anus or a vulva and a hand, they are asking them to consider them as bona fide sex acts which consenting adults may choose to engage in. And having a conversation about how they can all be pleasurable and consensual makes sure that no one in that class feels weird because they don’t do PIV or because they don’t want to do some of the things. It’s not grooming or abusive, it’s called having an open discussion in a safe environment to dispel some myths about the different types of sex that lots of people have. Porn doesn’t do that, ignoring the situation doesn’t do that, random google searches won’t either.

@DimidDavilby

Talking about sex acts is important for teaching. Would you prefer we just told them sex is dirty and they should never do it?!

Forced dichotomy. It’s not a choice between giving age appropriate information about sex acts and saying sex is dirty and they should never do it. It’s about teaching about sex and sexual relationships candidly and respectfully, the importance of boundaries and, yes, the consequences of some sex acts if done clumsily/thoughtlessly, because both girls and boys need to know these.

Its typical tactic though isn't it molly

When up against people who can articulate well the problems they forsee and make valid points backed up with reason regardless of what side you stand on, they usually resort to completely ignoring the potential for a middle ground by saying its either discuss these graphic painful inappropriate topics presented in a poor fashion that miss out vital information or we all want the next Carrie White on our hands.

Agree that this links closely to things like the “No Outsiders” programme, that has been so controversial in the West Midlands, and their connections to the “Queering the Classroom” agenda.

If anyone hasn’t read it, you should take a look at Shelley Charles worth’s assessment of the No Outsiders programme. There is some deeply disturbing stuff and the concerns of parents have been wildly misrepresented in the media as being nothing more than homophobia from religious groups.

www.transgendertrend.com/no-outsiders-queering-primary-classroom/

Talking about sex acts is important for teaching Er, no it is not! How have we ended up here? Parents need to be vigilant, ask the school what they are going to teach and who has provided the materials. Ask to see the materials and make sure that it is appropriate because if the chuckleheads on here are teaching it will be very damaging for the children.

@NoParticularPattern

But this isn't really considering hygiene, safe sex or consent? It's pretty much focusing on male pleasure - the dice doesn't mention the clitoris or breasts, but it does mention object and anus. It's also not factual, and like others have pointed out it is teaching techniques and normalising kinks, not giving factual, necessary information.

It’s not grooming or abusive, it’s called having an open discussion in a safe environment to dispel some myths about the different types of sex that lots of people have. So, you obviously haven't been in a classroom with teenage boys recently. I have. They call each other 'cunt' and talk about sex nonstop. The teacher (not me) made ineffectual remarks that they should restrain their language. They did not. Now imagine your teenage daughter sitting next to one of these charmers and being 'taught' about anal sex.

I’m all for SE that includes consent, risks, context, enjoyment for both sexes, different sexualities and peer pressure.

However this resource, and the game is just part of it, Is supposed to cover the SRE curriculum. It does not adequately include female pleasure (very little on the clitoris, breasts etc), consent or risks. If this has to be significantly adapted by the teacher to include these things what was the point of it? This was funded by the tampon tax to help schools.

As I’ve said before - I would be 11.5 or 12 in this class.

I was very shy and nervous and some of the boys were just plain old wee sex bullies. But hey, as long as they are ticking the boxes why care about the children in the class?

The message young girls (and boys) will take from this “game” is that the clitoris and breasts/nipples aren’t that relevant in sexual pleasure and it’s completely standard to be penetrated anally.

This is not how girls will learn to have an orgasm. It’s also not “heteronormative” or “homophobic” to point this out. Whoever designed this game didn’t have female sexual pleasure as an end point.

Do children need to learn about penis docking in school ?

Or that the prostate is no longer a prostate. But a clitoris

These are children in school

Children

Docking? Like as in a spaceship - or a dogs tail?

Gosh, is it really any wonder that girls and young women think it's normal for a man to choke them the first time they have sex.

It was explained in the explanation bit

It means putting another foreskin into another foreskin

You know what the boys would've done with this info back when I was in school? Used it as yet more ammo to pressurise their gfs into doing something (anal) that they've learned is pleasurable for THEM,but rarely at that age ever pleasurable for a young girl.

I'm with you OP. Just too much

What is of concern about this is that the impact of such teaching will be greatest in a negative way for those young people who are vulnerable who don't have the sort of families where it can be openly discussed.

No doubt it will be harnessed by the same heads who won't say drug taking is wrong in case it offends parents who do. Sadly I have met some.

This game is totally inappropriate in a classroom for 13yo. Part of teaching about consent and healthy relationships includes the fact that sex acts should be pleasurable for both parties. However, a teacher discussing specific sex acts with children should be clinical and detached.

As for the “homophobic” nonsense - this game is completely male centred and seems to forget that lesbians exist. The game itself is lesbophobic.

Gosh, is it really any wonder that girls and young women think it's normal for a man to choke them the first time they have sex

This. Way back with my first few boyfriends I remember thinking what the fuck are you doing??! They were doing stuff they'd learned from porn/mags/other older teens that they'd been told by other MALES was "what women wanted", but was in no way whatsoever what a teenage girl really wanted, ie, having to stop them from slapping at my clit/vulva with an open hand because they'd told me "all the porno women love it though". Girls should not be given these kind of instructions that that group is peddling - they need solid sexual advice from female-orientated sexual health and safety groups, not from male-orientated advice that makes them feel like there's something wrong with them from not liking anal/being choked etc

@YouJustDoYou

A girl in my class was tricked by her boyfriend - he convinced her that doggy style was anal sex, so every time they had sex he would make her do that. She thought this was how everyone did doggy style. Young girls are easy to manipulate. Pushing the idea that anal sex is just a standard part of sex is really dangerous, for girls especially. If you think anal sex isn't a kink then you probably watch too much porn.