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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to be called the version of ‘mum’ DH and family have in mind

327 replies

tappbar · 30/08/2020 16:25

All the other kids in the family have a slight regional variant for mum or mummy but I don’t like it ... aibu to just want to be mum or mummy?

OP posts:
x2boys · 30/08/2020 21:43

Just call yourself what you want your child/ren will soon pick it up I'm not keen on mam ,myself even though I live in an area where it's fairly common ,Mom also sounds odd to me although I know it's used in Birmingham etc .

superram · 30/08/2020 21:52

I have a bam and would prefer to be a mam. However, I live in mum territory. Currently mammy but clinging on by my fingertips before I become a mum..... ps not a geordie but nothing wrong with being one despite the horror mentioned above about ‘mams’.......

superram · 30/08/2020 21:53

Mam.....

Sceptre86 · 30/08/2020 21:56

I call myself mummy. Dd who is 4 sometimes calls me mummy or mum. Ds calls me mummy or mama. As long as they don't call me mother I don't mind.

Whyarewefruit · 30/08/2020 22:02

@QuestionableMouse

Because its another way of sneering at the common northerners. 🤔🤔🤷🏻‍♀️
This vowel is U, but that vowel is non-U...

People are batshit hilariously snobby.

Tunnocks34 · 30/08/2020 22:08

I love Mammy, it reminds me of my Irish granny.

I call mine Mam - it’s a Salford thing although plenty of mum/mummy too. My kids call me Mummy.

Tunnocks34 · 30/08/2020 22:12

In fact Mam reminds me of a meme about Salford I read...

Mama Mia... is it a musical, or a Salford kid telling their mum they’re home.

Not sure if that translates well into non Manchester accents though

Sewrainbow · 30/08/2020 22:16

I think the children are influenced by peers, childcare settings and school.

I love mama, assumed I'd be mummy/mum as I called my dm. I've ended up Mom because that's the local custom. All my cards made at school or nursery are Mom which saddened me at the time but I've got over it Smile

Sewrainbow · 30/08/2020 22:18

I like mam and mammy too! Just not mom for some reason Confused

x2boys · 30/08/2020 22:19

Yeah I get mamma Mia ,mam I'm ere 😂I ,m a Mancunian though .

longcoffeebreak · 30/08/2020 22:29

I think I am in a mum area.

I am mummy even though my boys are in their teens 😀

Where are the mummy areas?

CandyLeBonBon · 30/08/2020 22:40

Mama Mia... is it a musical, or a Salford kid telling their mum they’re home. Not sure if that translates well into non Manchester accents though

I just totally read that out loud in a Mancunian accent!

ImaSababa · 30/08/2020 23:01

Mumma is just awful.

WriteronaMission · 30/08/2020 23:16

One DD started calling me "mama" for some reason. I put a stop to that quickly. Just don't like it.

I'm in a "mom" location and accept that because they match their peers. I just really couldn't stand "mama" for some reason.

Your name, you choice OP.

HowFastIsTooFast · 30/08/2020 23:25

I grew up in a 'Mam' area but only ever used Mum when I was talking to or about her. Mummy when I was little I suppose.

Nor did we ever use the local habit of referring to other family members as 'our X'.

BluebellsGreenbells · 31/08/2020 00:43

I’m a Mom in a Mum area, kids wrote Mom in cards and a teacher corrected them! I told the kids they were right and to ignore the teacher. I am mom at home but I know they say my mum when out with friends

TitianaTitsling · 31/08/2020 00:48

Because its another way of sneering at the common northerners. 🤔🤔🤷🏻‍♀️
Because all the slagging and sneering at 'mummy and mumma' is of course fine. Bloody hate the shitey 'reverse snobbery'!

Emeraldshamrock · 31/08/2020 00:53

It is Mammy here or mam. DD called me Mummy until she was 3 and joined the local preschool we lived in the UK until she was 2.5 she picked up Mummy in the UK.

NiceGerbil · 31/08/2020 00:54

I find it baffling that there is so much judgement/ strong preference over what children call their mum.

Especially when it's other people. There was a thread with a woman saying she can't bear to hear random kids saying mumma.

I mean what's the big deal?

My MIL told me what she didn't want to be called...

Why is it so important? I think it's a class thing and also a looking down on regional accents thing probably.

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 31/08/2020 02:29

YANBU OP. My husband wanted our children to call us by the titles used in his language/culture. Fine for him, and the children use that title for him. But I wanted to be Mummy/Mum so that's what I am. His family still refer to me by their language's title which is fine, but our children call me Mummy/Mum (and sometimes 'Motherrrr' when they are annoyed with me Grin.)

Galaxxy · 31/08/2020 02:42

I'm every variation except mom! 1 DS calls me mother, DD1 mama, DS2 mumma or mami, DD2 mam or mum! All of them 'maaaaaam' when they want something or are telling tales 😂

Fungster · 31/08/2020 03:03

I'm a common northerner myself, actually. Although one who escaped the council estate they were born on. I think that's it, actually- my peers and many of my older relatives used "mam". As in, "Mam and Dad won't look after the kids but they'll be fine while we go to the pub." Yes, I think of it as very council estate. It was typical of the "rough" families. Not very PC of me, but that's the truth.

DancingCatGif · 31/08/2020 03:17

My mum had aspirations and insisted we called her mum, but we always used mam when actually speaking to her. You can't really force these things.

DancingCatGif · 31/08/2020 03:17

"Because all the slagging and sneering at 'mummy and mumma' is of course fine. Bloody hate the shitey 'reverse snobbery'!"

Is mumma posh? I think it sounds a bit Appalachian.

Yeahnahmum · 31/08/2020 04:34

Just refer to yourself as the name you want to be called. Fuck the rest 😎

Seriously!