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AIBU?

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WTF would you do. ? So called friend !!!!

252 replies

Highfivemum · 29/08/2020 19:52

Long story . I have a friend who I know through school. She has two DD. I have 6 DC ( 2 DD and 4 DS). Over the 6 years I have know her I have always given her my DD clothes they have outgrown. I feel for her as she is a Single parent and doesn't work. Last year I gave some of my DD outfits to another friend at school who helped me out when I needed her and she commented that she could have done with the clothes. I didn’t take much notice as I didn’t know if it was said in jest but it stuck with me. Then at the beginning of the year she asked me if my daughter had outgrown one of her dresses as she had a party. I stupidly pick a few of my daughters dresses that were getting to small and gave her them. I said to my DH i was going to move away from the friendship as I wasn’t happy that I was being used. I really am happy to help but felt she was over stepping mark. I had my last DC in April And due to covid haven’t seen her. She messaged last week and said she will drop a gift off and leave it on the porch I thanked her. When I opened the present it was a two pairs of socks along with a note saying she has missed seeing me at school and she is happy to come over if I left some of my DD clothes in the porch. She made out she was doing me a favor...I really felt like I had mug on my head. How would you deal with it. !! We only see each other through school..

OP posts:
Celestine70 · 01/09/2020 01:35

I gave clothes away once and saw some of them being sold on FB. I would rather give to a charity shop now.

JessicaBlack101 · 01/09/2020 02:53

She is using you for sure. The "gesture" of the socks and condition is her attempt to reconnect with her free clothing supplier. Especially when she eyed off something your daughter was still wearing and "called dibs" on it.

I will tell you about a friend of mine. Two things - this is from around 2011. I barely talk to her now. She was broke and on unemployment (for eons)

  1. I gave her some money to buy a dress for a funeral. She said she was going to wear it just once then donate it "because of the energy from the funeral". I told her to "cleanse" it and wear it again. I doubt she did.
  2. She once said "Can i have some money to buy Christmas presents for my friends" As it was Christmas 2011, I said "just tell everyone you didn't buy them anything because you thought the world was going to end, as I have" She did not like that answer.
So she was seeing me as an ATM. It started with me asking her to buy something only avail in her city and post it to me (giving her a few extra $ for her troubles), and she just wanted to keep doing that - with the same item. I only needed the one. And was put out when i declined. This friend of yours is doing the same. Taking a nice gesture and spinning it to match her greed. I'd also check your local ebay, mercari etc sites to see if any of the really nice things you gave her are being sold off on there. And do not give her any more clothes, ever.
Pixxie7 · 01/09/2020 03:27

Surely she realises that as they get older children’s clothing lasts them longer. Tell her you haven’t got any as your daughter is still wearing them.

makingmammaries · 01/09/2020 18:38

Because EVERYBODY is entitled to a life free of worry about essentials.

Right. I’ll just give up my job and leave the essentials to take care of themselves. And encourage EVERYBODY to do the same.

OP, you have been very kind and need tactfully to distance yourself from this woman.

LadyLairdArgyll · 03/09/2020 14:17

Because EVERYBODY is entitled to a life free of worry about essentials

riiiiight 🙄

Howmanyhourswastedfindinganame · 03/09/2020 14:46

This person sounds incredibly rude.

Highfivemum · 03/09/2020 16:38

Hello.
For those still following —
after my message to my Friend* I did not receive any reply, however at school today she rushed off without speaking. Fair enough she may have been busy but I have just been informed by one of the other mums that she has annouced to her and two other mums that I have totally cocked everything up for her ! as she was relying on my Handouts. Apparently she said I was unbelievable selfish 😳!!!. 6 years of giving her all my DD clothes and she says that !!!! The icing on the cake was she said she will not be able to go Out with her sister now as she will not be able to afford it. Said it all really.
I should have MUG stamped on my head.

OP posts:
VacMan · 03/09/2020 16:40

Cheeky bitch, you are well rid.

Suzi888 · 03/09/2020 16:43

She should be ashamed of herself, disgusting behaviour.

Groovee · 03/09/2020 16:47

Her loss @Highfivemum. She's shown her true colours.

cameocat · 03/09/2020 17:40

So bloody ungrateful.

custardbear · 03/09/2020 17:43

Holy shit I hope you told the mums the real story!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/09/2020 17:46

Well, now you have a littlest one you could ask for some clothes back the other way, couldn't you?

Throw that spanner in the works... you have nothing to lose!

custardbear · 03/09/2020 17:46

... I'd have to also message her back and tell her you've heard what she's said about you, and it's a bit disappointing that she's been using your generosity all these years, so much so she's become a cheeky scrounger asking for clothes off my child's back - I hope you find some other muggins because you'll be giving clothes etc to grateful friends not ungrateful cows 🐄 .... but that's just what I'd do 😉

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/09/2020 17:49

Apologies, I missed a page!

Sod her. And yes, I hope you set the other mum's straight!

I would probably also message her . much as custard sets out.

Happynow001 · 03/09/2020 18:00

Then block and delete. Nobody needs "friends" like this.

Pollypocket89 · 03/09/2020 18:02

She's awful. What did the other mums say? Tell me they see her outrageous cheek?

WendyHoused · 03/09/2020 18:05

She’s confusing your generosity with what she’s entitled to.

You’re well rid.

Ohtherewearethen · 04/09/2020 07:55

She's really shown herself up here, not you. Nobody in their right mind (apart from a few of the more, erm, 'passionate' posters on this thread) would think you selfish. They would just see her for what she is: a selfish, entitled, grabby, bratty, mannerless cow. You're definitely better off out of the drama. My guess is she'll need you before you need her and I would just completely blank her from now on.

Luddite26 · 04/09/2020 09:31

I still think she was keeping bits and selling most of it. With her latest reaction she has really shown her true colours.

billy1966 · 04/09/2020 11:54

🤣you couldn't make it up.

So those think she was using you and entitled, were bang on the money.

Well rid OP!Flowers

Raindancer411 · 04/09/2020 13:52

Bet the other mums were just as stunned to hear it lol

Crazycrazylady · 04/09/2020 14:14

She sounds totally unhinged.. She can't afford to buy her children clothes and her concern is around her social life.😯

Block her and ignore and I'd make sure the two mums knew the full story just in case she tries to spin some yarn in the school yard.
Of course its nice to be nice but no one likes feeling like a mug either.

Sewsosew · 04/09/2020 14:44

Entitled much? Well rid of her.

Bonjovi50fan · 04/09/2020 18:48

I think this woman is being very cheeky. If it was me I would just keep away from her and if she asks about the clothes say your giving them to your cousin

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