FIL says he's offended. Is he right?

[dustyparadeground]

So, UK husband with Italian wife. 41 years together. FIL and MIL in Italy have bought land and FIL and BIL built a large villa outside Rome. Basically it is 2 semi detached houses that Italian parents apparently often do called a "bifamiliare" one house for my BIL to live in and one for my wife and I to use when we go and possibly live in when we retire. Obviously very generous although there was no discussion about it, it was simply presented as a fait accompli. Which I have always thought a bit weird. So we visited last month and I happened to refer to it as "my house" and my FIL instantly said "wasn't I ashamed to call it my house? I should at least just say my wife's house" We were in public with a few others from extended family so subject was changed. However this has been bothering me for a couple of weeks now. Especially as we have ourselves sunk 50K into this project. I should just add he was certainly quite cogent and aware of what he was saying at the time. AIBU?

The funny thing about my grandfather’s house is that though it apparently belongs to my father and his siblings now, they’ve never been there or met their cousins. I’m the only one living in our part of the family that’s ever been inside!

I visited about 20 years ago and stayed there, when grandpa was still living.

Guess I need to ask about it again. The cousins do take care of it, rent it out, etc.

@dustyparadeground

CatbearAmo

That bathroom sounds brilliant! Don't know what you're moaning about! Yes I think Mumsnet is a good place for a 61 yr old bloke to vent!

I think so too! It's good to get thread about something different!!

What was the context of your comment & who were you actually talking to?

I actually think your wife has behaved badly here, she asked if you (as a couple) could give the 50k to her Father and she hasn't been up front about the documents she's signed or the fact she hasn't. Essentially you've given her Father 50k And have NO idea what her or your legal right to the property is.

BIL is benefitting enormously, you are not, why did you need to match his input?

I think you need to speak to your wife because this really isn't right. Or let it go if you can afford to not worry about 50k for yourself or your daughter/granddaughter (for all you know the property is in FIL/BIL's name and none of your family will benefit in any way.

I only said "mine" or actually "casa mia"as my DW was not present at that moment. If she had been there I would have said "ours" or "casa nostra" ...so I am letting it go. It's a while back now anyway but in a way at least it's totally clear now. It's not "mine" and never was "mine" or even "ours"
As for my daughter I guess it would pass to her after my wife passes though what she would want to do with it I have no clue.