Serious? Do men know the slightest about women

[Gothamgirl1970]

Posting here for traffic and opinions.

As it’s 3 am and I am posting it’s because I simply am perplexed and need the hive mind.
Dating apps: presumably a person joins up because they would like to meet someone for company, to find love, just a shag or probably 100 other reasons I can’t contemplate this late.
I’m not sure if this holds true for all age groups but what I’ve observed is in men 46-58. In the profile area you can post some photos if you wish. A lot of men do but write no bio which tells me nothing and essentially they are just a body.
Here’s my serious question. Approximately 60% of men with photos lead the opening photo of themselves In Lycra gear with a helmet and sunglasses on, a bit of mud displaying their bicycle with pride. In many cases all 3 photos will be man and bike. Mid flight, crossing some finish line etc.
I know lots of women who are also befuddled by why a man would think bike photos would interest any woman in him at all. Shouldn’t they put a photo that shows the face, and is in a friendly happy pose?
What is it these cycle mad men are trying to convey? I cycle most of the time so I won’t have any time to spend with you? I want a woman who will cycle with me ? Look at my bike it’s impressive? I look decent in Lycra?
Please help. My friends and I are dying to know why they do this and what they are trying to communicate and further who are they thinking they can attract with this?

AIBU to not have to look at literally hundreds of cycling photos?

@Angelofdeath I get the exact same thing. I’m going to post a photo with my head cut off from when I did this (now deleted profile it was just way too shallow and bizarre but maybe I will try again) and actually had 2 reject me for being too large. I remember being gobsmacked and wondering what was he expecting smaller to look like

@DancingCatGif I couldn’t agree more and I have a theory that age appropriate men for me (between 50 and 60) are usually divorced and they want 35-40 year olds!

YANBU.

There's a novel by Irish author Briain Ó Nualláin (aka Myles na gCopaleen) called 'The Third Policeman', whose plot involves a man who becomes one with his bicycle. I used to think The Third Policeman was an absurdist (and very funny) novel but now I think Ó Nualláin was a prophet.

There has to be a reason men aged 46-58 with an unnatural attachment to their bikes are single. I wish I could put my finger on it.

@ForrestTrump

Nobody questioned that lumpy lout Weinstein and his model type wife.

I think people do judge couples where the woman is clearly with the man for his wealth. The man is seen as sleazy, wanting a trophy wife etc, and the woman is seen as a gold digger.

Yeah but it's accepted. He's rich. She's attractive.

The other way makes no sense to society.

@Gothamgirl1970, some men online get a thrill from rejecting a woman on ludicrous but basically misogynist grounds just because they know you wouldn't look at them. It's a 'do it to them before they do it to you' defence against their own inadequacy.

I think @DancingCatGif has it summed up

I met my BF on Tinder and he’d put up a couple of triathlon photos. I was very pleased to know what I would be getting in the bicep department.

He says he posted those pics as he wanted someone to either exercise with or who was at least accommodating of exercise and fitness in their life. I know that’s bollocks though and he was showing off those guns

@Angelofdeath thanks! Reiss sale! Just for reference size 2 and at 5’8 to fit it without it being a sausage skin I was 8.13.2 stone.

This is why I really don’t think the good ones are out there. They are all taken.

I mean would this idiot bring scales to a coffee and weigh a woman to decide if she had enough value for a conversation?

I think technology may have destroyed dating

Hi OP. It sounds bad out there with the cycling lyrca! You are correct in that it means “I’m too busy cycling so won’t have time for you” - you can say goodbye to romantic weekends as they will be out with their male cycling chums Sat and Sun mornings.

Also, pretty much the same goes for the men who post loads of photos of themselves on holiday trying to look interesting - they also won’t have time for you as they will have about ten trips abroad planned and will expect you to do all your first dates around that. They honestly expect you to wait around for them like that, and that you’ll still be there when they get back.

The cycling thing is an obsession, so if you date one of these guys please know you’re likely to come second. Their whole existence revolves around it, and yes it’s a mid life crisis type thing.

I can’t believe men ask for women’s weight on dating sites! WTF! I think women should ask for penis size!

And I have been asked several times how much I weigh

I’ve never been asked that. It would suggest to me that it is impossible to see your shape from your pictures. (Some) men are such simple creatures aren’t they? My BF said that he was able to look at one of my profile shots and see I have nice boobs FFS

@Pleasebeafleabite I honestly am not being sarky here but genuinely interested to ask that you used biceps and body shape to chose a partner so you “knew what you were buying”? So looks was the decision?

Doesn’t that feel a bit like human shopping?

@Pleasebeafleabite I think my shape is quite evident at 50 I’m not going to be prancing around in hot pants and a bra because I’m not looking for anyone to objectify me as a potential sex toy.
To be frank if someone I didn’t know and only exchanged messages with who admitted they were studying my photos to see if my tits were in his desired sexiness range I would immediately know that he was a Neanderthal who was more interested in if he deemed me fuck worthy than anything else and I would have deleted him. I am a human being not a sex toy.

Lycra and bikes might be bad but not as bad as photos including an electronically scribbled out ex.

@Angelofdeath I’m actually considering writing a book paraphrasing some of the messages including the man who went camping and woke up the next day to discover that an animal had stolen his full set of dentures and that gave him the epiphany to become a Buddhist

@Gothamgirl1970 firstly, sorry I crossposted with your pictures. I am about the same proportions as you I think. I never got any questions about my weight, think you must’ve been a bit unlucky there.

I don’t think it’s a radical admission to say that looks are very much a decision in choosing a partner . It’s just that men are more open about it. I am very happy to admit that a hot body is better than overweight on a middle-aged male when it’s bouncing on top of me

It’s been over a decade since I online dated and men in Lycra wasn’t really a thing until after the 2012 Olympics so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, however maybe we’re all being deadly cynical and they’re showing you their hobbies because they hope you’ll be interested in them?

DH and I bike and hike together. He used to go with his mates when he was single and still does from time to time (or his mates join us) but he says he prefers to do it with just me. He said that he and his mates used to talk about how they really wanted partners who would join them in their activities and that he is Incredibly happy to have found someone who wants to play outdoors with him. I have several female friends into cycling and they spend weekends doing it with their partners.

Maybe they are just showing you who they are in an attempt to find a cycle partner? If you don’t like, you can move on to the next surely?

@Pleasebeafleabite after having a husband who was a 10 and left me a widow there are many issues with people who are off the Richter scale gorgeous.

Weight is changeable gaining or losing. Being a controlling cheating asshole is forever. Personality traits beat hot for me every time

I suppose posing with a bike is slightly more enticing than posing with a set of golf clubs?

@Goatinthegarden hi. Great thoughts. Of course you can pass anyone by but I think this is where the bio providing context becomes critical. The cyclist could simply be communicating his passion for the sport . He may not care if a potential partner cycles but needs to know it’s a huge part of his life. Alternatively he may be looking ONLY for a partner who shares his passion and will cycle with him. Without those details it may get an auto pass when it doesn’t need to.

@Gothamgirl1970 I am sorry about the loss of your husband.

Man exist on online dating who have lovely personality traits as well as a hot body. They are not mutually exclusive. If you are looking for someone who you are wanting to spend the future with I think it’s even more important that their body does it for you

I had some one ask me what I did for a living which is about 90% men who work in this field. He worked in a complimentary field, told me he didn’t believe me. I replied in 6 separate paragraphs each written in a different coding language from Python Ruby on Rails C# and a really obscure one called Drupal. He then blocked me! Hahahha

But to be fair what would you rather a pic be of? If you use your two pics as an example you look great! And I'm sure a man looking at those would hone in on that! But essentially you're stood in your bedroom and in a public toilet? If a potentially 'compatible date', also posted pics of him stood in front of a mirror and in a mens toilet. Would you actually concentrate on him, or would you think 'fuck me, why is he taking a pic in the men's bogs?!' 🙄😂 I guess it's probably harder for men to look 'interesting' than it is for a woman on initial first glance perhaps? Plus they're shot down for 'trying to hard!', and again for 'not making an effort!'. Sucks to be a man trying to date I guess 😅