Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

No you're not. I agree entirely. I've always enjoyed a bit of flexibility with my job and have worked from home on some days. But I always enjoyed going in as well. It's the restriction, I think.
DH is not enjoying wfh for reasons similar to yours (apart from no kids at home)

No, it's isolating. I've been trying to explain this to DH who gets to go into work a few days a week. I actually miss the sodding train at this stage!

Once the kids are back at school I'm going to contact the other mums I know who will be wfh too and will try to get some kind of lunchtime walking group going, something to give us a bit of a break.

But motivation is so hard. I'm seriously flagging now.

I think there is an element of novelty for some people and the biggest bonus is not having to waste time & money commuting. But after a while it wears thin. For all the reasons you state OP.

I have been working from home for years, and find it exhausting and isolating. I guess it's not too bad if you are employed and have regular contact with colleagues and have tech support, etc., but really very tough if you are self-employed/a sole trader.

Plus, until now at least, most people think you must be taking the piss and not really working very hard at all, which is exasperating.

No YANBU I hate it - I really bloody hate it

I do my job because I enjoy working with people face to face - I miss seeing people, I miss spending the day travelling to home visits and meetings, I miss bouncing off my colleagues and getting ideas and different perspectives.

We are not up to date IT wise so can;t use teams - all my meetings are via phone line which is shit (although my team meet once a week 'illegally' via Webex)

I want to be back at work - I hate sitting in my office box room every day but work have today issues a statement saying we wont be back until at least the end of Nov - I cried!

People are different though...

If you've usually got a long and hectic commute to get to work, or a very early start, or an expensive journey, that sort of thing, then it will have been a refreshing change to work from home. If you have a nice comfy home set up where you can work comfortably, then it can be nicer than an office. If you have massively annoying colleagues then maybe working without their constant annoying chatter will have been brilliant.

Personally, I worked from home for 6 months and mostly liked it. In some ways it was isolating, but I saved money on commuting, got a lot more sleep because I didn't have to get up so early and managed to sleep at the right time for me (my best sleep is between 6-8am, I've discovered), I ate much better lunches because I had access to my whole kitchen, and in the nice weather I was able to have all the doors and windows open as much as I wanted, instead of fighting over who gets to choose the office temperature. And I didn't have to listen to some of the annoying people I work with all day long. But if I had a less comfy home and a more enjoyable workplace then perhaps I might have felt like you.

Personally I think the difference is that you were already used to home working. The people who've enjoyed it have enjoyed it because of it being better than what they usually had. You don't seem to have had any difference, so you haven't had that contrast.

Same. I feel much better now I can at least meet folk for coffee etc and am making an effort to do that at least once a week. It’s so lonely otherwise. I used to wfh 2 days a week and could happily do 3 but more than that evidently doesn’t suit me.

@ShinyMe
Yes, I've always had it but not like this - I had the freedom to go to the office too and when freelancing drift around London working wherever I wanted. It was the ultimate working freedom. Whereas this is just living at work...

I've been working from home before covid too and the main positives for me are the lack of commute (used to be about an hour and a half if I was lucky, train with usually no available seats + tube + 15 min walk up a hill each side), and just the general flexibility. And I haven't been ill once since I stopped commuting and working in an office now that I'm no longer exposed to every cold going round.

I've always worked in small organisations though and while there was a social element to it of course (having lunch together, working together on stuff etc.), I'm a natural introvert and prefer being at home most of the time. It also means I can spread out housework across the week and not save those tasks up until the weekend, so I get a proper break at weekends. I'm also a freelancer though and the way I'm paid means I can spend three hours in the afternoon doing what I like and work when it suits me so it just works really well for me.

@TheHauntedFishtank
I think I'm the same as you, a mix of the two would suit me just fine

I love it, worked from home for a long time. It’s definitely more productive when kids are at school though. Also school run gets me out for some fresh air and conversation

As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.

I am a pre-Covid homeworker too and I have been really struggling. Mt DH used to 'WFH' one day a week pre-Covid, but he definitely used that day as a bit of a laidback time he worked to suit himself - fitting in exercise when he wanted, etc. He rarely bothered to share the office with me and would work from the sofa etc. Now he's WFH full-time, and it's different - he's in the office all the time, we have to co-ordinate video meetings etc etc. I am hating it. I also cannot concentrate on the sort of long-form work I need to do when everyone else is here, even with the office door shut there is always some disturbance.

In the past I would head to a cafe for a change of scene if I needed it. That option is gone at the moment.

I definitely think the type of work you have to do and the contrast with what you were used to before plays a major part in everything.

It doesn't sound like you really wfh OP, flitting between offices, cafes etc. I used to work away from the office 4 days per week so dropping in to the office once a week was fine. But when working conditions mean being in the office all the time, that's no fun for most people, especially anyone using lousy, unreliable trains.

I've felt less isolated at home because everyone else has been in the same position. Teams calls (which we did anyway) are much more effective that f2f meetings because everyone is used to it now. It all feels much more level no - for me. And I'm sleeping so much better - no thinking 'I must get up at x time because that's the only way I'll make y train'.

Meh. I’m the same. Have been wfh since March and not due to go back to the office (central London) til next year.
Flagging with productivity today so have given up.
DH wfh also - separate space.
Agree on all the OPs points - I need some variety with it. Used to wfh once a week so not completely new to it but would prefer 2/3 days in the office and a couple of days wfh to mix it up/ see people.

Not looking forward to dark cold days and wfh in the coming months as worried I’ll feel hemmed in. Though a lack of tube with a carriage full of wet people with massive coats and umbrellas will be a bonus this year.

People are different. Even though I miss my colleagues, I like having my own space and the quiet to get on with my work. I wouldn't fancy finding a new desk every day at all.

I completely agree with you OP. I used to wfh 1 day a week pre Covid and really valued that. But WFH every day is not the same and I'm missing the collaboration and interaction with my team. Our office is reopening looking at doing two days a week from September and the rest from home I think that might be the balance I need.

I have family/friends who are working from home and are finding it incredibly isolating. Particularly those who live alone.

I can’t imagine it’s much fun for those who don’t have a separate room at home in which to work, no separation at all between home and work.

I love it. Both me and OH are working from home. We both have offices at home, so are in our separate spaces, and they are well equipped with multiple screens, ergonomic chairs, etc. We use Slack in our company for instant messaging so it's easy to talk to the people I need to whenever via video call or text. My working day is shorter due to no commute, I walk my dogs morning, lunch, and after work, so they're very happy. I've lost weight as all meals are good quality home cooked ones instead of munching office biscuits, and I've been refreshed enough to go running every other day. And I've saved a crap load of money not paying rail fares or buying lunch.

I'm dreading returning to the office.

No, it's a matter of personal preference. It shouldn't be a shock to anyone that people feel differently to each other about work environments. Offices didn't suit everyone, so why would wfh?

@TheGlitterFairy Friday afternoons are the worst part of it - I have got jack shit all done this afternoon! Keep getting distracted by the laundry basket, fridge, putting the kettle on etc - major procrastination going on!

I think part of it at the moment or certainly when things were more locked down, is that it's a pain/you aren't allowed to do things you'd maybe want outside the house anyway. I think you should stick it out for a bit but try to plan things in. So, some days take a longer lunch and go with DH to the park with DC, or go meet a friend for a coffee or just a walk. Have days where you start and finish early with plans around that to do something.

Set start and finish times just like you are at work and keep the room door closed at those times. Set yourself break times.

It might be easier if/when your DH goes back to work?

I'm mostly enjoying it (as much as enjoy work anyway) but I only live about 10 mins from work anyway and am not particularly sociable. I try to catch up with team mates and work mates over a quick chat or call every so often.

No you haven't missed anything. Like you I have always had the flexibility, so home working isn't unusual. But it is no longer a choice, it really is impossible - especially as a manager- to do what you need to do in the same amount of time, and non verbal communication is crucial to many things.

It's interesting, because my employer is very large. So we literally have thousands of staff home working right now ( and a lot who are not too). But there is an fascinating correlation emerging. For those who have always had flexibility and had both working from home and office based (or site based visits), there is a general consensus that people would like to "return to work " with office based time - in other words, go back to similar patterns as they used to have. For those who haven't had flexibility and never worked from home previously, the consensus is that they don't want to return to the office ever and that they can work just as easily at home.

Unfortunately there is also an interesting correlation between where work productivity has increased, and services where it has massively dropped. Those used to flexibility have increased performance but want to get back to some office time. Those who have never had flexibility are performing less well as services. Without a doubt, some of that latter group are simply not adapting to a situation they have little experience of, but equally, it's funny that they all seem to be the group's where they are saying they don't want too go back because they like having time with family etc - and oddly can't be "found" firing working hours all that easily.

Working from home can be a good thing, but it's all about balance. It is also about trust, and unfortunately not everyone is to be trusted. I know it's not the majority, but it's also a skivers paradise, and that negatively impacts on everyone when people are taking the proverbial.

I've WFH for years. I love it, but it came at a good time for me.

I have an office in the garden so am separate from the house.
We only have a few people in the main office in HK, most of the work force work remotely (UK, Germany, New Zealand, US) so I don't feel I'm missing out on the office environment.

DS2 has just left primary school and I've really enjoyed the flexibility WFH has given me. Socially I do a lot of sport and because I've been more present at school I have friends locally.

I'm gaining over an hour a day not commuting.

I am a single parent so being at home - even though I'm working and DS2 is doing his thing, it does mean I am present (I make a cup of tea, or put some laundry on).

Lockdown was bloody awful, and these summer holidays haven't been great either (very little in the way of sports camps etc).

It was very, very hard to work with DS2 to keep occupied all day (never mind actually home educate), and my FIL was very unwell.

I can't wait for school to start so I can get on with my work!

I've wfh for ten years!! It's the combo of everyone being at home, so the zooms are endless and exhausting - I would normally only have one briefing call per project, now because person Z wants to ask person X something and has to zoom them, we all come along for the ride.

But the big thing is never escaping the house. I used to go out all the time, whether it was seeing friends, wee trips away, cinema, theatre, gigs - I had a busy social life that offset my work life. Now that's gone and DH is home All The Time - I mean God knows I love the man, but I'm not even getting a cheeky night on the sofa with crap telly by myself because he's always THERE.

A mix of wfh and a few days in the office is what suits me. Am still wfh, because our office is only allowing people who have to be in, and that will stay that way until next year apparently.

I have a crap commute, so I don't miss that. But I agree OP, it can be a bit isolating and it's hard to get a general sense of what is going on, while wfh all the time.

A friend of mine has wfh for years. I think she would struggle a bit at this stage if she had to return to the office.

I'm with you OP. I have worked from home one or two days a week for years, but when it came to the lockdown, I started to feel lonely.
Usual places I would go to break up the day were closed, apart from the park.

I was still in contact with colleagues but it didn't feel the same.

I found myself not concentrating, working later to try and catch up and basically being present at my job from dawn to dusk, but not being efficient.