Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

I love working from home for lots of reasons but am looking forward to going into the office for a few hours a week just for meetings and to touch base. But then my office is a 10 minute bike ride away and I don’t have to spend 3 hours on public transport. I’m going to work differently when I go back though. I’m not going to be buying £5 salads and £3 coffees in Costa and Pret and I’m going to cycle rather than drive. I reckon I save on average about £15 every day I don’t go into work. That’s about £250 a month excluding implulse purchases.

I love working from home, I just don't like doing it in the lockdown.

I can't see how someone who normally has childcare can WFH and look after DC.

I’m a centrist politically - unashamed Blairite and hate this government with a passion but I also think companies moving to a full time WFH model are making a mistake and believe employees who love it are still in the novelty phase and will start seeing the downsides. I say this as someone who WFH full time a few years ago.

A hybrid model of for e.g. 3 days in the office, 2 days at home is better. Not going from one extreme to the other and before anyone says it I’m not a jealous person forced to go in to the office. I’m currently on holiday but I’m WFH full time until at least early next year as is DH. We want to go back in to the office at least part time. I don’t want my home to also be my full time workplace.

I think the points made by @Aridane are really important. It feels like all the decisions about wfh in the long term are being made by managers in their 50s who have a fully equipped home office in a big house somewhere in the Home Counties. They’re enjoying not having a long commute into London and also the fact that they can work for hours undisturbed by the distractions they’d get in the office.

The decision is not being made by the twenty or thirty somethings living in a cramped flat share in London, who have to work sitting on the end of their beds and whose WiFi can’t cope with the amount of Zoom calls all 5 flat mates need to have. Also, the ‘distractions’ managers experience are often more junior staff learning the ropes and asking vital questions. Without any time in the office I’ve no idea how more junior staff are meant to achieve the ‘soft’ learning the 50 something managers had the benefit of having eg listening to two colleagues chatting about work can be a really important learning tool, plus just learning how to interact in an office environment generally.

YANBU. It’s not for everyone- it all depends on you and your circumstances.

Personally, I find it fine and hope I never need to do all my working week in the office again. DS started nursery in May and for me WFH with no commute while he’s so little (17 months) has been a godsend.

We can make dinner and put on a load of washing in our lunch hour, then eat with him as a family at 5pm-ish. Plus we’re saving money. None of this would be doable if we still had to go in to the office.

A hybrid model of for e.g. 3 days in the office, 2 days at home is better.

Better for some maybe. But it still means workers have to live in expensive parts of the country for no reason other than being within commutable distance to the office. Maybe better in the short term whilst firms are stuck with expensive city centre offices or workers have other reasons to be there, such as school, spouse's job, etc., but longer term, probably not, when people can WFH full time, they can move to cheaper/better areas - but that takes time to organise new jobs for spouses, new schools for children, etc.

I think there'll be a short term swing to the 3:2 model but a longer term trend to leave the cities.

I do think it's a good thing that there will be more opportunities for people living in remote areas to be able to take jobs they'd never have been able to before because they couldn't afford to live nearer to cities.

First month I loved it.
Then I lost motivation and found it, like you, lonely monotonous etc.
Spent a few months seriously under performing (I am self employed!) followed by bursts of very hard work to meet deadlines at the last moment. That pattern is not me and I don’t like it !
Happy to be returning to a workplace soon but fear I will be one of very few !

It feels like all the decisions about wfh in the long term are being made by managers in their 50s who have a fully equipped home office in a big house somewhere in the Home Counties.

Yes, this is very true. The top manager in our department posted a video shortly after we went into lockdown. The video basically said "I'm actually finding this whole working from home things really productive and rewarding" ... as the camera showed his large home office with 2 desks, 2 monitors, lots of storage and attractive views over the garden. In fairness to him he did take feedback and acknowledged later that he was very lucky and there were many colleagues in less than ideal situations e.g. working from the kitchen table with their DC sat next to them doing school work. But I think it's one thing to acknowledge other's difficulties and another to actually understand them.

My work has said it is only moving a small number of essential groups back to the office and many of us will be wfh until next spring. Current issue is people asking for the company to pay expenses towards winter heating costs (which they clearly wouldn't normally pay as the house would be empty). So far this has been refused, on the basis that people are saving commuting costs. Again, failing to realise that the people saving on commuting costs tend to be the more highly paid managers - the lower paid workers all live very close to the office and either walk/cycle in or have a very short (5 minutes) drive.

user1497207191, the problem with this comment is that rural areas are already seeing a trend in city people due to the lack of their outside space moving to rural areas. Rural areas do not have an abundance of jobs like city areas. Or Government funding or Services and Amenities. What this will do is cause an issue for rural communities not being able to access the property ladder!
There is also the issue with housing being built all over, especially on land which is considered as Marsh or Green field which is making rural areas into something the current residents never wanted to be in. Large housing estates on all sides looking into each others bedrooms, living rooms, small gardens etc.

I also agree that it would be great if people in more rural areas can have increased work options but I also think some people are under the impression that everyone in cities is desperate to leave. A lot of people love city living. It’s not just jobs that attract people to cities. When the nightclubs, bars, theatres and concert ventures open up again they will be rammed. Not everybody has a family, or even wants to be with their family all the time, young kids they need to pick up from school or a 2 hour commute.

I can’t see many graduates or people in their 20s applying to work in companies which have a full time WFH model. They want to meet people. I wouldn’t and I’m in my 40s. I love DH and he’s my nest friend but I don’t want to work full time in our house with him forever. Just the thought of it feels suffocating.

Also if everyone started moving to rural areas, those areas would quickly start to resemble cities.

I met my DH at work, that wouldn't have happened if we had been WFH.

Tellmethetruth4 you have it spot on. Many people want to stay in cities. They are vibrant and have an abundance of activities to do right on the doorstep. Easy transport systems and alot of financial input and funding. Rural areas are less attractive when it comes to this. I fear WFH as I stated on a previous post has more impact on people physically on site in many organisations. They take on responsibilities and make decisions on behalf of people WFH. This then starts people to ask the question about people's added value. I also fear that we will become a nation of people sitting across from each other on social networks without actually conversing with each other. I fear we will become a society of social inadequates 🤔.

I can't see how someone who normally has childcare can WFH and look after DC.

Pre pandemic, my employer was crystal clear child care arrangements had to be put in place before wfh . WFH was not a substitute for childcare . That seems to have gone now , with work being squeezed round childcare, home schooling etc

@RedskyAtnight - we also had one of those videos

Plus equally nauseating OH I’VE LEARNT ITALIAN MY ZOOM with all the time saved o commute

@Tellmetruth4

I also agree that it would be great if people in more rural areas can have increased work options but I also think some people are under the impression that everyone in cities is desperate to leave. A lot of people love city living. It’s not just jobs that attract people to cities. When the nightclubs, bars, theatres and concert ventures open up again they will be rammed. Not everybody has a family, or even wants to be with their family all the time, young kids they need to pick up from school or a 2 hour commute.

I can’t see many graduates or people in their 20s applying to work in companies which have a full time WFH model. They want to meet people. I wouldn’t and I’m in my 40s. I love DH and he’s my nest friend but I don’t want to work full time in our house with him forever. Just the thought of it feels suffocating.

Also if everyone started moving to rural areas, those areas would quickly start to resemble cities.

But there's a chasm between city living and rural living. What about all the smaller cities, towns, etc which have really suffered over the past couple of decades with the centralisation of everything into London and a few other large cities? Firms and people moving out of London into the smaller cities and towns would make a massive improvement to the locality - a kind of reversal of the brain drain. It could be a real boost to all the "left behind" places like run down Northern towns & cities.

@Aridane

I can't see how someone who normally has childcare can WFH and look after DC.

Pre pandemic, my employer was crystal clear child care arrangements had to be put in place before wfh . WFH was not a substitute for childcare . That seems to have gone now , with work being squeezed round childcare, home schooling etc

It may have gone temporarily due to covid, but once things start heading back towards normal, that kind of restriction/requirement will return.

User1497207191 all the big firms Banks and Building Societies, which people in the Capital make huge bonuses from working for them, have all but gone in the smaller towns and needless to say no doubt some of them in the smaller cities. Technology as we all know has taken away the requirement of a high street. I am unsure how any business and people moving into the more rural areas will be a boost now. These areas have long been left to suffer by over the years the selling off of industries they were all involved in with nothing to replace it, usually you will find that city people have a skewed view of rural life.

I can't see how someone who normally has childcare can WFH and look after DC.

I think it depends on circumstances. In my case I'd say WFH with my spouse also WFH and sharing a room is far more distracting than DC. The DC are a distraction at certain points but then go off and find something to do. DH sits next to me all day.

I wouldn't want to try homeschooling whilst WFH again, but I don't see a need for wraparound care now, by the time they have had a go at homework and stuck tv on I'm finishing my working day. Similarly I don't see an issue with school holidays so much now - I think I'll be able to work part of the week with them occupying themselves, and take part of week off to go and do things with them.

I find advantages with working from home. The commute is horrendous so I like no travelling. I can put my dinner on at lunchtime and stick some laundry on, so I have my evenings free. House is tidier. However I do have a separate workspace and I can shut my door to my family. We have team calls and a WhatsApp group for chat.
Disadvantages are, I seem to be on hand for various family questions and interruptions. Also sometimes its difficult to get motivated. And systems are slow. I would like a blended model where I go into work some days, because the one thing I miss is getting dressed up for work...😂

I agree with you Susanne.

I've been in the office a couple of times a week (which is partly due to our childcare arrangements, partly because my mental health was really suffering) and I've noticed something quite interesting- almost everyone who has come back is male. That has implications- who is seen as more committed? And also implications for their partners, probably fitting work round childcare and now school pickups (we still have no wraparound care). I work somewhere where loads of people have younger children.

Long term, this is going to have structural implications for women at work (it shouldn't, but it will). Who also picks up the slack at home, if they're there more? Who takes on more of the mental load? The new normal will be horribly gendered, just like everything else.

Breadandroses1 partners can also take it in turns for childcare,school pick ups and can pick slack up at home, if employed and have children then each and every one of these people will have these issues regardless of gender ?!?!

Of course they can. We do that.

But you can deal with the world as you want it to be- where that's split equally, or as it actually is, where we know women do loads more childcare, more unpaid labour and are more likely to dial back their hours to part time.

YANBU. I would hate to work from home. The time I spent completing my PGCE before going back in voluntarily and then being paid for teaching was shit. I was actually talking to DP about this last night - he would enjoy WFH a lot more than me, he enjoyed it over lockdown.
For me, it would be much less stressful and as I commute it would give me more hours in the day. But I thrive on a busy, fast-paced and sociable work environment. WFH would leave me feeling isolated and like every day was the same.

Totally see why some people love it though. If the government announced the school week was going to be 3 or 4 days long from now on I can’t say I’d complain. I just couldn’t WFH full time/the majority of the time.