Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

I am doing a mix of both. Prefer to be in the office for the same reasons as OP but WFH is just a necessity right now. Everyone being in the office together at the same time just increases the risk of it spreading, especially if many take public transport. It also means that if there is disruption to schools, which I suspect will happen, I do not have to deal with the stress of going to work.

I miss the office and support. We take a lot of difficult calls. Took an upsetting call today with a client. At work someone who have made me a drink. Here DFather (could hear a bit, I didn’t discuss) and then I was crying a little) just said why are you bothered. I did call in about and the manager was really nice but not the same. I am so lucky I don’t deal with upsetting stuff too much but that means nothing in place to support when dealing with it WFH.

I don't rely on my colleagues for my social life, but the social interactions I have with them are one of the things I really like about going to work. It has been the same everywhere I've worked, but I am a fairly extrovert person and am always happy to talk to other people. I have longterm friendships with people I have met through previous jobs.

As a general rule being stuck working from home all week is tough on extroverts

Being stuck in an open plan office all week is tough on introverts.

Flexibility is key

There’s pros and cons to it I think. I find working in a big office quite distracting and I can waste a lot of time having little chats, nipping for a brew etc etc when I wouldn’t at home. Also not having to commute is amazing, it’s an hour and half door to door to get to my office, so that’s 3 hours a day I gain not going in. Then there’s the money saved, I’m not paying expensive train fairs or having to leave at 7am, particularly horrid in the dead of winter. I also see my kids more and it is possible to take them to school myself (my husband is a teacher so can’t be in 2 places at once) so we save on breakfast clubs too. I also like the fact that if we want to go anywhere after work I can stop working and go, there’s no 90 min commute home before we can go out.

On the flip side though I agree there is less divide between work and home life, it can feel like you are at work all the time. I also find it isolating, just the lack of human contact locked in a room alone. I make the effort to get out the house and do a walk but it’s sometimes an effort making myself, normally I’d walk a couple of miles without thinking about it as part of my commute from station to office.

So I see both sides of it. I think for me 2 days in and 3 days home would be the ideal mix. I bit of interaction but still saving a bit of ££ on trains and school clubs, plus the extra time it buys me without the commute.

I think they're the people who aren't actually doing a full day's work and enjoying getting away with doing lots of other (no work) things during the working day. Real life is going to come and thwack them around the head when the party ends and firms want them back in the office, or at least want a return to normal levels of customer service and productivity from them.

it 's THIS mindset that made WFH so hard for businesses to accept in the past.

The lockdown has proven that for many, productivity doesn't suffer and most workers are actually responsible adults and work as well, if not better, even without someone supervising them.
If workers are slacking off, there are ways to encourage them to do the work they are actually paid for, or to get rid of them.

How many people were consistently depressed every Sunday night, living for Friday night, suffering from no quality of life, hating offices, colleagues, compromises and have suddenly been given a way to work efficiently AND get time to have a life.

I am A LOT more efficient at home than in the office. The "little chats" during the day with colleagues interrupting me are unhelpful and just waste my time. Now we still chat and communicate, but in a more efficient way.

I waste time on MN when I have nothing better to do . I used to be on here a lot when I was in the office, I never come when I WFH as I don't need distraction.

A lot of businesses have stepped up and customers service (or service in general) hasn't suffered at all! Long may it last.

As others have said, everyone is different. i don't miss the horrible air conditioning vent i sat under in the office, which made me ill with constant sore throats and eye infections. I also don't miss paying an arm and a leg in train fares to travel to work. The feedback from our bosses is that productivity has stayed high in our team and they have praised our efforts for adapting to a totally new way of working. However, I know a lot of people are struggling with it and finding it isolating. i know a couple too who, like yourself OP feel it's really affecting their mental well being.

I've worked from home alot and used to really like it. Over lockdown it was a nightmare though because it brought the worse out in people who either weren't working or furloughed. I got so upset because without me and others working there would be no benefits or furlough but no one was considerate. I know I couldn't work through another lockdown here. But we are upping sticks soon so all will be well

At first I loved it, but it definitely helps that DH was working throughout the lockdown (postman) and we don't have kids. I've saved an unbelievable amount of money by not commuting, not buying takeaway coffee 3x a week, not going out to buy food and leaving my homemade lunch languishing in the office fridge I'm definitely sleeping more/better and I don't get that "ughh I can't be arsed with this" feeling when I wake up.

I started off lockdown working full time but a few weeks ago I started a PhD so my hours are a lot more flexible. However, I'm starting to miss the bustle of an office and even just meeting up with people for coffee/dinner after work.

It looks like the campus will reopen in the next few weeks but that's only for staff, and research students will be allowed into the library/shared working spaces with strict rules about times/space/face coverings, etc. I've spoken to my supervisor and she agrees that I'd be as well saving myself the commute and parking costs for the foreseeable as I'm lucky enough to have a dedicated office in my house. I'm not going to drive 15 miles in rush hour and pay to park just to sit in silence with a mask on!

I think when things are "back to normal", whenever that is, I would be happy to go to campus twice a week but wfh the rest of the time.

As a general rule being stuck working from home all week is tough on extroverts

Being stuck in an open plan office all week is tough on introverts.

Yes! This! Except it’s an extrovert’s world and being outgoing and noisy is absolutely celebrated even if it’s all hot air. And being ‘too quiet’ or ‘unsociable’ is seen as a negative.

As an introvert I’m far more productive and a million times happier WFH. There’s not one single thing I miss about the office and even in a global pandemic where two of my closest loved ones are high risk my mental health is surprisingly good.

I don’t want to go back and am glad my employer isn’t pushing it at all, at least not this year.

However, I'm starting to miss the bustle of an office and even just meeting up with people for coffee/dinner after work.

that is a luxury that many people WFH will now have, and they couldn't do when they had to go to the office.

That's why I love WFH so much. No one is a "weirdo" by having other preferences, but for me WFH gives me the chance to exercise, have hobbies and a proper social life - and still see my kids!

Being stuck in an open plan office all week is tough on introverts.

I’m an introvert and WFH has been terrible for me, because it means I have to make a concerted effort to see anyone apart from DH and DD, and I don’t. When I was at work I could see other people without having to make an effort to do it.

I think they're the people who aren't actually doing a full day's work and enjoying getting away with doing lots of other (no work) things during the working day. Real life is going to come and thwack them around the head when the party ends and firms want them back in the office, or at least want a return to normal levels of customer service and productivity from them.

Oh be quiet! I do exactly the same hours WFH as in the office (sometimes longer as it’s easier to stay on and finish something) and when I go back to ‘real life’ I’ll be doing the same hours (my workplace is flexible you come in when you want but these hours work for me) the only thing that will change is that I will have a 2 hour commute added to my day.

I flipping hated it. I was used to do a certain amount from home but under my own steam so working late, weekends, whenever I liked. But working normal working hours from home with the same fast-paced deadlines and meetings etc just didn't work outside of a large open plan office where everyone is hands on and spontaneous. I found I was working much longer hours from home, achieving much less and felt I couldn't escape it. I noticed one of my colleagues was logging on at 4am and doing loads of work then, she said it was the only time she could get peace and quiet from constant zoom meetings, texts, emails, calls. The work ground to a halt after a couple of months which was a relief (though not financially). And I used to use the train commute to read - I haven't touched a book since March.

@SantaClaritaDiet absolutely X 100!

@MothAndRabbit and other generalisations like: People who simply must be in the office are needy, clingy, emotional vampires who can't stand their own company but think everyone else should.

Party ends! Fucking hell, where do people work where WFH is seen as a party! Employers that don’t trust their employees sounds like. People are adults, no one is taking the mick.

Its a relief to hear about people who are also not finding wfh the best thing that has ever happened to them, which is the narrative I keep seeing elsewhere. I can absolutely understand why those with small children are finding spending more time with them great but especially if you live alone its a lot less attractive as your face to face contacts have basically dropped off a cliff.

Being at work personally I find I can pick up far better on what is happening when I'm are able to pop into another office to have a conversation about one thing and then they go onto other topics. Just to be able to have a passing conversation about a programme that was on the night before or person x's holiday/weekend sounds lovely right now. To build working relationships that mean everyone can just step in and help with issues as needed. Calls and scheduled meetings are not the same. And then as a manager I don't feel that I can train up new staff or build those relationships as easily. I can't get as good a feel for whether staff are coping. I can't just nip out the door and pass on information or have a quick query. We were able to go in for a day yesterday and it was lovely to just see actual people.

Work has seeped into every part of life now and I'm sending (and receiving) messages into the evening, weekends, days off. Of course I want it to be safe but to be honest if it wasn't for the commute and if I was allowed I would be in again tomorrow. Best of both worlds would be maybe wfh 2 days a week. Heard there may be plans to never be back the office in like we used to be and genuinely became weepy at the thought of it.

I've just joined MN for this thread - I thought it was just me that was HATING it!

I started a new job a week after national lockdown. I was so excited about WFH, usually my commute is an absolute pain in the arse (90 mins each way by bus and tram).

By May, I was an anxious mess, and by July, I had a full on breakdown with intervention from the MH crisis team. I'm now on medication. For context, I'm a corporate and commercial litigation lawyer, so not exactly a shrinking violet! There's no way I could ever tell colleagues about how badly I've coped.

I think what's done it for me is a combination of living in a building site of a house (bought a wreck cheaply in December and living in 2 rooms - no kitchen and basic bathroom, was going to be done up in summer ) and the fact that I didn't have any natural break between a pretty full on job and my home - I've pretty much been living and working in the same room since March. As a new starter, I've found the whole WFH experience to be profoundly isolating. I don't think I realised just how much I pick up in passing from colleagues when learning about a new workplace, nor how much I miss the company in the office. Don't even want to think how all the WFH parents and carers have managed it, hats off to every one of you!

It suits me, but I worked from home before lockdown. It's great being able to pop a load of washing in during working hours, wear comfortable clothes and get drinks or snacks when I feel like it (of course that has its down side as well). I think it's good for the company as well as I spend more time working over hours not having to travel home.

Work has seeped into every part of life now and I'm sending (and receiving) messages into the evening, weekends, days off.

This sounds really horrid but I genuinely believe it’s a boundary setting problem and can happen just as much when people work in an office.

It's certainly not for everyone, I think businesses will have to get a bit more creative about overcoming the isolation people feel. I've been WFH for about 12 years. I find it a little lonely and demotivating sometimes, particularly in the winter. But I wouldn't go back to commuting. I use coworking spaces and cafes etc to get a change of scene, but that's been harder since lockdown. Since my whole team started WFH, there's been more tension and low level conflict.

Yeah I find the idea that this period has been 'a party' for anyone pretty fucking crass, actually.

I don't miss the office at all. It's a tiny, cramped room in a shared-use building with very noisy neighbours. Oh, and a colleague who eats so loudly it makes me feel murderous. My, well all our, role/roles are very much individual-contributor roles and quite studious almost, you need a lot of quiet to get on with them. We are all very experienced and responsible and I think it's just idiotic to suggest that we, or other employers, are only 'ahem, working' at home. For my part, I have been working longer hours than had I been in the office as I tend to just keep working through.
It's a sector by sector and role by role matter in the end. And if people are dossing, whether at home or on the office, it will out.

@MothAndRabbit

Yeah I find the idea that this period has been 'a party' for anyone pretty fucking crass, actually.

I wouldn't worry too much

there are a few jealous and bitter people on this forum, who like to see the world as "them" against "us" (whoever them might be), they are just winding you up.

They are just jealous they were not invited to our "party" 🥳

@BikeTyson

Being stuck in an open plan office all week is tough on introverts.

I’m an introvert and WFH has been terrible for me, because it means I have to make a concerted effort to see anyone apart from DH and DD, and I don’t. When I was at work I could see other people without having to make an effort to do it.

That's why I said flexibility is key. WFH all week is me in my comfort zone and a day or two in the office would be a better balance.

However, I find being in the office all week exhausting and I need the weekend to recharge. When i'm WFH through the week i've got the energy to socialise after work or during the week. The challenge though is to actually do it and I haven't been (the pandemic is the excuse but what you said comes into it as well).