Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

Everyone has a different experience depending on their circumstances. I am set up in spare room wheee I have a proper desk and office chair . We have informal team meeting via Teams each day , just to link in and chat or sort out any problems. My DH is at home but keeps out of my way and we don't have any young children so I'm neither isolated or distracted.

I work part time hours with a commute so as a proportion of my working day I normally spend a long time travelling . It's been brilliant to have a morning lie in and an early afternoon finish to be able to just chill .

Not everyone has this experience though. The work we do is taking longer due to the way we are working and whereas for me this is more than made up for with my commute time gone, I have colleagues who work full time who are having to work evenings and weekends just to get everything done. Also colleagues who just don't have the space for desk/ table and are sitting with their laptop literally on their lap.

And as for those who live alone , must be a nightmare.

Nope! I've been WFH for close to two decades, first few years I was working for a company that had offices in another area from me, so I did still go there occasionally (once a month mostly, if that) and had a 'team', but then went freelance. I'd give my left leg (need the left arm for typing) to have an office base I can go to when I fancy, and a team of coworkers. I feel like I've become a bit of a hermit and not sure I'd know what to do in a modern office environment. I spend 90% of my time within 20m of my OH (he's a happy recluse) and not quite sure how I haven't yet killed him, but unfortunately I've gotten myself in so deep to this life I can't see myself ever getting out of it!

I have a friend who's quite high up in a large multinational corporation and is involved in working out how to organise things now that their staff are mostly WFH, (including her - she is delighted with as it makes things like nursery runs much easier and she can organise her hours around the children and her husband's shift work) and how this will work in future, but I keep trying to tell her that it's possible there will be some workers who will prefer to have an office job for various reasons - getting out of the house, younger people who are flatsharing not having space to work, the social element etc. I feel like I should be going around giving talks to warn people of the dangers of getting in too deep!

@SantaClaritaDiet there are certainly some very odd views on here about this subject, it's really been quite the eye-opener

There is no inherent moral good in traipsing into a city-centre office every day. So weird that some people seem to think that there is. It's as if MN has been invaded by an army of David Brents.

I think a lot of people that don't like WFH are those that live people, and dislike being around their family. I live on my own, so don't have to share space.

Actually having my family around is the only thing that's made wfh even vaguely tolerable. Come September when I'll be on my own all day, it's going to be even more unbearable.

Thanks OP for starting this thread and articulating why wfh is not the amazing thing that so many people think it is.

Oh, and a colleague who eats so loudly it makes me feel murderous.

I have to say I really don't miss the particularly loud crisp muncher in my office.

And, for clarity, I understand perfectly why some people may prefer an office environment. It's the snide 'you must all be slacking' attitude to happy WFHers that baffles me.

I was mainly wfh before and I enjoy it, but I'm a complete introvert, plus my office was a long journey away . The other thing is that my job involves a lot speaking people (clients ) on the phone, so I am talking to people all day long.

I am very strict about my hours though, I don't work over them and I take a proper lunchbreak often including a run, I start early to allow for a longer lunchbreak.

I also only go to the meetings I really think I should , in my office there is definitely a culture of over meeting and thats got worse during the pandemic and I don't go to all the meetings I'm invited to or I would lose my mind.

What has gone to pot is my routine and I haven't been running becaue of dd being at home and I feel that I should be spending time with her in my breaks, just to get her off the ipad! So I am going a little stircrazy now!

One of the few positives of WFH has been more time with my teen DCs. As soon as they're back at school I'm going back to the office.

Have you considered it might be the actual role you are doing? I know I would enjoy working from home more if I was more in control of my role and not having to deal with fuckwittery at my kitchen table

I feel the same OP. I can't wait to be allowed back in the office.

The dog is delighted though and I now get to walk her every day which is nice. I try and do yoga or cycle at lunch.

Work is flexible which is good. But I miss ever and miss the structure.

Certain personalities prefer wfh. Often people who aren’t up for much team work, collaboration or talking. I’ve a colleague who thinks email and calls is a fine substitute for f2f interaction. Mainly she relies on email to get things done and her team have never prioritised being visible with the business or build relationships. Their choice, of course.

I prefer meetings f2f where possible. I am introvert as well but i find it easier to be in front of people rather than on video calls which seem to leave me more exhausted.

Neither is wrong btw, but a balance of wfh and office time is best. Personally I would like to see offices evolve into meeting and collaboration zones. I don’t think we should write off the power of being f2f just because you can video call. By the same token, why bother visiting your parents if you can FaceTime? We go and visit family in person because it’s much better in person.

Also just read the ridiculous comment upthread about people enjoying WFH slacking! I do so much more at home. On my day in the office I did bugger all to be honest , chatted to my colleague, tried to make difficult phone calls in a noisy open plan office, thought about food (so much more hungry after commuting ), went out to get food ( i live in the country so it's a mission to go out) , made tea for 20 people, stopped and talked to several of those 20 people, went to pointless meeting after pointless meeting, computer malfunctioned, someone;s nicked my pen....

Those of us who've had to wfh as most of our career have set up stuff to mitigate this. Eg lots and lots of professional networking in the evenings and breakfasts etc. Completely agree with you though.

It's also going to be v v tough on those entering the workplace. My grad scheme was touch enough and that was with a lot of face to face mentoring and drinks after work etc.

I prefer it. Although I like a few days a month in the office.

I don't have to get up at 5. I run in the mornings. I go for a walk or to the shops st lunch. I can do the school run. I can spread my hours over a longer period and not be bound by avoiding traffic, so I can stick a healthy dinner and lunch on. I am not too tired for activities.

I'm also an introvert and work better with people being on Skype rather than around me. In an office other people zap my energy and I struggle to think.

@CatNoBag "but I keep trying to tell her that it's possible there will be some workers who will prefer to have an office job for various reasons - getting out of the house, younger people who are flatsharing not having space to work, the social element etc. I feel like I should be going around giving talks to warn people of the dangers of getting in too deep!"

This is so true. I love working from home and have done it for the last 15 years, but have offset a couple of days a week visiting clients and having meetings and I have (had?) the option of going to the office if I wanted to. I am now 50, living in a comfortable house, with plenty of room for both me and my husband can work at opposite ends of the house full time without disturbing each other, or giving up precious family space in our house. We have a dog which we both yearned for but could only get when I stopped commuting to London. I selfishly love the fact of not having to get dressed in suits everyday, race out the door to catch my train, spend a fortune on train tickets etc. We also have the benefit of having a purpose built office in our garden. However, if this had happened in my twenties/thirties it would have been awful and I think I would have really suffered mentally. Then, I commuted to London, I was single, my work was my social life as well, we all were roughly the same age and went for beers after work, we didn't have FB, social media, mobile phones and the thought of missing out on all of that I can imagine for some is really difficult. A friend of mine is really suffering, she has a really bad home life and her work day consists of yoga classes at lunchtime, meeting girlfriends after work and now being forced to work from home has hit her hard mentally. It just doesn't work for a lot of people for a whole host of (not always obvious) reasons.

I agree, I got caught up in the Spanish quarantine fiasco and had to work from home for two weeks, hated every single second.

Don’t get the WFH love, at all.

I have loved it since 1994 when I set up on my own. I did masses of meetings and talks and business travel however although I chose to do less of that in the last couple of years. I love my own company and have a self contained office.

Lots of people however are having an awful time of it and indeed there may be some legal action arising from aspects of it all in due course.

It is also very very hard for new graduates and slightly older people who learn from being with colleagues all day and very unfair on them if more offices are not opened up. Also if employers end up saving a fortune on rents then may be they should be looking at big pay rises for home workers.

@MothAndRabbit
Yeah I find the idea that this period has been 'a party' for anyone pretty fucking crass, actually.

Completely agree.

I think the difference is that you had the freedom of WFH or elsewhere before. If the choice is 100% working in the same office everyday or 100% WFH everyday most will choose WFH.

My office has asked everyone their preference long term and almost everyone has opted for a mixture of WFH and the odd day in the office.

@Ava2323 - I completely agree with you. I've worked from home for years and hate it for all the reasons you describe. This year I made a decision to get back into a work place even if it took a cut in income and a massive increase in hours and costs. Then lockdown happened.

I think people hugely underestimate the long term effects of WFH isolation, sedentary lifestyle, lack of team to exchange ideas with, to problem solve together, to get creative, inspire each other, give motivational praise or kicks up the backside etc. It's such a drag doing everything on your own. I hate it. I adore my work and it pays well enough but if I had my time again, I'd plan my career very differently.

My ex partner said he used to get more done but need to be really motivated since distractions.

He missed the networking and interactions with his colleagues.

He liked being able to pop washing on, have a quick tidy up in break times and loved not having a 1.5 hour trip and start and end of day so more free time.

However, he then worked longer hours since he wasn't commuting!

I hate it.

There are times when I have to really focus and concentrate on a task - and the quiet environment is great.

But our work also relies a lot on communication and interaction - and it's noticeable that the collaboration has been affected.

I am an extrovert - and my office colleagues do make my role enjoyable.

We're all different. It's not rocket science. Some people like some things, other people like other things.

I love it. Both me and OH are working from home. We both have offices at home, so are in our separate spaces, and they are well equipped with multiple screens, ergonomic chairs, etc.

I think the separate spaces are key. I have a well equipped and spacious home office and used to like WFH part of the time because I enjoyed getting peace and quiet and being able to concentrate/progress tricky things. Now I share it with my DH all day and honestly it was easier to concentrate in open plan office at work.

I feel like I am never alone now (not even in the car). I'm desperate for him to get back to the office at least for one day a week so I can get some peace.

@queueueue

We're all different. It's not rocket science. Some people like some things, other people like other things.

But I do like working from home. And I used to be good at it too. Now you'll mostly likely find me in my PJs at 9am wondering how long I can put off starting yet another day of drudgery!