Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

I agree with you OP, working from home full time is isolating, tedious and I miss the other people. Fortunately, my furlough ended this week (I was just in for 2 days) and I'm in more days next week....it's just SO NICE to meet up with everyone again. I haven't felt so motivated for months!

I think it's harder for social beings but for us loners it's heaven. The government is now pressuring companies to return to offices so you might be in luck

Totally understand and agree. I haven't enjoyed being at home, and long to go into the office one or 2 days ASAP.

@teelizzy and @Ava2323 thank you for your posts.

This is exactly how I feel.

Freelance also. Not getting out and about at all. Struggling with clients who are WFH without the right tech to do it. No trips into town or to random places I've not been before. My DCs are small and don't understand what I could possibly be doing at my desk all day. DH self-employed and doing his best to help.

I'm tired, I've been very busy but my work is very stressful, I feel I'm on a constant repeat of eat, work, sleep, housework and not much else.

Where do you go to relax when you're WFH morning, noon and night?

Also, I've always worked for high growth, scaling companies (even as a freelancer) where it's busy and challenging and everyone is pulling together to acheive an end goal. I think a get a good deal of my energy from others as a result.

Maybe it comes down both to individual's personalities and the type of work/normal environment?

I’ve always worked from home at least one per week since DD was born 12 years. It is absolutely invaluable for doing the detailed work I do (drafting, reading and checking) in peace. However I prefer to be in the office 3 days a week for collaboration work with colleagues and clients. No office at all doesn’t suit me although I appreciate the lack of commute when WAH. I think my job prior to Covid was a good balance.

I’ve always been much happier and healthier when I had a shorter commute. When I had a 2hr commute it made me ill - I was constantly tired and on pills for headaches and motion sickness, and I had no time for exercise or hobbies. Switching to a job with a 20 minute commute was life changing. I totally understand how people’s lives are better when they can WFH.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay I have to disagree with that characterisation. I'm definitely more on the introverted end of the spectrum but I like that work makes me go out and be in a collaborative environment. I learn a lot from my colleagues and I like the shared sense of achievement.

I also like being around my family but I find I can't get absorbed in a task with my family at home.

I've been working from home for nearly 19 years. I work around 25 hours a week and I love it. I am really productive in the silence and am able to really focus and concentrate when there are no distractions. It's been weird having the kids at home and juggling everything but I am able to compartmentalise all the things that are going on and it's been OK. It helps that the kids have always been taught to be quiet from the very start when the phone rings! My DS is just about to start an apprenticeship and join the world of work and it's been a blessing to have these few months with him on the verge of starting his adult life. It's a time I'll always treasure. It doesn't suit everyone though - and I wouldn't expect it to.

@Heartlake honestly I have to go out for 5k run/exercise first thing or my mood is shit. Necking too much wine in the evening is my dirty destressing secret.

First time WFH for me and it doesn't make much difference. Sat at a desk with a headset on and don't have time to speak to colleagues so...

I think having children and other aspects of home life affects your WFH experience. Most people I know with young children have struggled. Me and DP have a 3 bed so one room is an office and the spare bedroom has a desk and I’ve generally enjoyed it. Love the flexibility, don’t miss the commute and have saved about £1K a month on travel, food, coffees etc. but I realise it’s not been good for everyone.

I love it because:

I get have lunch with my partner every day and make a nice lunch in my own kitchen (and eat it whilst we watch an episode of something good)
I get to sit next to an open window with fresh air in my face, rather than an air conditioned box with sealed windows
I can stick the laundry on in the morning and hang it up at lunchtime instead of having to do it all after work/weekends
I can get up 5 mins before I start work
I am in for every delivery
It’s peaceful and quiet
There is no office politics or drama to contend with
As soon as I clock off I can exercise/sit in the garden/do chores with no wasted time...my evenings feel much longer

My mental well-being is so much better for working from home!

YANBU i feel the same, it's been really lonely and isolating (live on my own), especially with everything outside of work also cancelled. I don't have space to make a separate office area in my home so it's taken over my dining table Monday - Friday. I'm not used to working in a city centre so the buying lunch or going out to do errands at lunchtime thing doesn't bother me, if anything i've been out for a run/walk/shop at lunchtime more than i would from the office. I also think that long term it will be really detrimental for both our personal and business development as there's none of the chat about other projects or opportunities that comes from being in the office.

@Lindtballsrock I completely agree with everything you’ve put. I’m finished at 4 and exercised, cleaned a bit of the house, showered and relaxing before I’d be home usually. Evenings are a joy!

I am A LOT more productive at home than in the office for a start. It is easier to ignore my phone than ignoring someone in front of me who stops for a chat "meeting".

As busy and "social" as my work could be, I have always considered it as a job, my actual social life is out. The time wasted commuting I can now use for my social life and exercise.

I am a lot happier being out of the house because I (mainly) want to than because I HAVE to.

I love WFH.

The lockdown I found claustrophobic, my home office I really don't . I even forgot about the petty grips over air con, rounds of tea, uncomfortable seats, birthday collections...

Why does WFH stop you in any way from meeting people? The lockdown and social distancing is one thing, but isn't it bliss to actually socialise with friends instead of being stuck with work colleagues? I am still very much in contact with my office via zoom and Team anyway.

I have hated it, I am doing half and half now and it's OK because the DCs are at home and keep me company. As soon as they're back at school I intend to go back to fully office based (I am allowed to) and just the odd day at home once every few weeks, which is how I used to work. I did two months fully WFH at the start of lockdown and it was awful, my mental health would massively suffer if I ad to do it long term.

It's taken over my kitchen table (no spare room, dining room or office here). I missed doing errands on the way to and from work. I missed my colleagues - the nature of the work means we can't be on teams meetngs apart from in a few pre-arranged timeslots. I missed the chat, the opportunity to stick your head round the door and ask someone something, bounce ideas off each other over a coffee etc.

If I was fully WFH in term time I would be very lonely (DH works outside the home, no school runs as the DCs are teens). If I was being made to do it permanently I'd be looking for a career change.

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.

I have a home office set up in our spare room with a beautiful view of the countryside. I'm more active than ever because now I have time to exercise. I don't feel lonely but I've never relied on work to meet my social needs.

• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team

This doesn't apply to my role, I'm the only person doing my role. The main people I speak to are external and we've always conducted our business by phone/email so that hasn't changed.

• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting

Doesn't apply to me. Husband goes out to work, no kids.

• no separation between work life and home life

I've never had any trouble logging off at my finishing time and then not thinking about work until the next morning when logging on.

• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)

Never done this.🤷‍♀️

• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

As above, never had social needs met at work. I don't live in the city so when meeting friends outside of work it's locally or in my home town and never on a week night.

Just pointing out to you that your experience is relevant to you - other people are different.

I’m finding it shit as well. It’s been terrible for my mental health, my work life balance and my waistline. Can’t wait to get back to the office even if just part time. I used to do a day a week WFH and that was great but I never would have taken a job WFH FT.

The main people I know who seem to really be enjoying it are those who had long or expensive commutes before or had to do a lot of travelling that they didn’t really like.

I don't think you are a weirdo OP. Though the things you have missed don't need you to be in an office five days per week, most I think could be achieved in two or three.

I missed doing errands on the way to and from work

Yes this has really bugged me! I used to pick up shopping, dry cleaning, go to the post office etc on the way to or from work or on my lunch break. Now they feel like actual chores rather than just incidental to my commute.

Nope, I hate it. But can imagine I would have loved it when the children were younger as it would have offered some flexibility.

I'm watching this thread with interest. Opportunity to wfh going forward but aware of the isolation this presents.

wfh will be part-time, so I am hoping to offset with joining a couple of groups/meeting friends and building more of a social life outside of work. Wfh will enable me to do the school run which with two young dcs is very much what I need.

I think it can largely depend on your workplace re. social interaction. I have worked in four different offices and only one of those I found sociable (because we were generally like-minded etc.) I am fairly introverted, so I suppose it also depends on personality.

@Badbadbunny

Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family.

I think they're the people who aren't actually doing a full day's work and enjoying getting away with doing lots of other (no work) things during the working day. Real life is going to come and thwack them around the head when the party ends and firms want them back in the office, or at least want a return to normal levels of customer service and productivity from them.

Or maybe the people who don't enjoy WFH are the people who are incapable of self-motivating without being in an office, and dislike their family.

Ridiculous generalisations can go both ways, can't they?

I have a 4 and a 5 year old and the hardest thing for me about WFH is having absolutely no separation whatsoever between work and home life. The minute I finish work, I’m thrust back into kids tea/childcare etc with no chance at all to have a bit of space in between. It’s exhausting.

I also miss getting a bit dressed up to go into the office!