Am I missing something about working from home?

[Ava2323]

I just don't get it....

So background, I've always worked in central London in a professional office job. Mostly I've WFH one day a week and liked escaping the distractions of an open plan office for a day each week to get my head down to concentrate on a big document/project etc - really productive.

Then a year before lockdown I went freelance so completely home based. It was good. I worked from client offices, co working spaces, cafes and the spare room at home. It was really flexible, each day was different and I could be around more to pick up DD from nursery then do work in evening if needed.

In lockdown my freelance work disappeared and I managed to find a contract role for a big company in April (DH was on furlough so we needed the cash). The job is fine and people nice. But I have loathed it for a number of reasons:

• being cooped up in our spare room day after day with just my laptop and Zoom calls for company. It's lonely, claustrophobic and sedentary.
• lost collaboration - everything seems to take longer and you don't learn anything through little chats in passing anymore and much harder to get a sense of team
• having DD and DH in the same house a lot of the time, even though they're downstairs I just find it really distracting
• no separation between work life and home life
• awkward to run errands (I'd often pop to dry cleaners, pick up something for tea on my way home and now everything feels like a special trip, nothing is incidental anymore)
• lack of networking/socialising - I used to meet up with people a lot for drinks/coffee/dinner etc

I just find the whole thing really one dimensional and souless and I feel like my mental wellbeing is far worse than pre-lockdown. 5 months in my motivation and productivity is poor. Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family. As someone who was a seasoned home worker before I just don't get why I've struggled so much when everyone else seems to love it.
And don't get me wrong, I love DH and DD v much but I really don't want to see them all the bloody time!

Am I a total weirdo?!

[quote Ava2323]@TheGlitterFairy Friday afternoons are the worst part of it - I have got jack shit all done this afternoon! Keep getting distracted by the laundry basket, fridge, putting the kettle on etc - major procrastination going on![/quote]
lol yeah that's pretty much why I am on here. Distracted. I love working from home, but even I am looking forward to some point in the future when I can go in to an office at least for a bit.

My setup is a bit unusual though, because I live 400 miles away from my office and am/was often on client site. I use to travel (and stay away in hotels) about 9-15 days per month. I am hoping that when things to "back to normal" I will be travelling maybe 6 days per month. That would be the ideal balance for me.

I really don't want to be travelling until post-vaccine though. I am in a high risk category and it is just too much stress.

Yet I hear everywhere people saying they love it and they never want to go back to the office and their wellbeing is so much better and they love spending more time with family.

I think they're the people who aren't actually doing a full day's work and enjoying getting away with doing lots of other (no work) things during the working day. Real life is going to come and thwack them around the head when the party ends and firms want them back in the office, or at least want a return to normal levels of customer service and productivity from them.

I hate it too. I only really have one colleague in the office most of the time but thought we got on really well. But now they are saying that they are only going to return to the office 'every now and then.' I'm gutted. I guess I enjoyed their company more than they enjoyed mine! I have hated how lonely workign at home is and I also struggle with being as productive as I was in the office. I'm bloody gutted that covid could lead to most of my working life being solitary now.
My mental health has really suffered, and I had hoped going back to the office would ease that. Apparently not.

I work from home, did a mix of office and home pre-Covid and am working from home for the foreseeable future. I love it, I have time and space for focussed work, can catch up with colleagues as I like without getting drawn into office politics, I’m on hand for the odd delivery or workman and because I have a dedicated office space I can close the door at night and not feel like I’m living at work.

I am pulling my weight and doing a full, busy days work - I like being home though, I wonder having a good, practical set up to work this way makes a difference.

Pre covid is never worked from home, been working from home since march, I love it.

I'd like to continue as long as possible and just go into meetings and to external visits when required.

I think a lot of people will see the same negatives that you do, but for some, the benefits will outweigh it. Some people spend a lot of money commuting and not paying that is a huge bonus, it's like a pay rise (in a previous job I paid approx £300 a month and the possibility of saving that would have been a massive thing in favour of wfh).
Time with family is another thing, I get more time with DD in the morning and evenings, plus because I now do housework in my lunch breaks, the weekends are freed up.
So, I don't disagree with the negatives you've pointed out, and my ideal is probably 3 days wfh, 2 days in the office, if I had to chose one or the other I'd definitely pick wfh.

Maybe you'd be better off working in an office for an employer.
WFH isn't for everyone, I've always enjoyed it, but am my own boss.
I love being at home with dh, married 28 years and still so much in love.
My dd has been home since March 13th and I've enjoyed every minute with her.
I can't imaging woh, I'd miss family too much.

You sound like an advert from the government to get people back to their offices LOL.

DH has worked from home for 20+ years and wouldn't have it any other way. As a computer programmer he finds offices very distracting and unproductive.

But if you want to work in an office, then do it. It's a very individual decision.

I wonder if it is because this is a newish job and you are not feeling the benefits of getting to know the team and those all important water cooler conversations that you benefit from when you are new? I have always worked from home but had that interspersed with client visits and meetings. I then started this role and in the beginning was pretty much full time in the office, the commute was horrendous and I was exhausted, but I learnt and picked up so much more in the office. I started to WFH a lot more but still had that interaction with colleagues and learn't those nuggets of information that you are only party to when you are in the office, I probably went to the office maybe 1 or 2 days a week. Now I am completely home based and will remain to be as I don't think my office will open again and we have been taken over by a new company and the whole infrastructure has changed. I feel a bit like you sometimes, it does feel a bit odd but I feel a lot better about it now I know my colleagues more and can just connect on teams etc.

I think it depends on a whole host of factors, personality, life situation etc etc. In my 20's I loved working in an office and socialising. In my 30's I worked from home occasionally and loved it and started to present the commute. Post kids I firstly had to work full time going in everyday be which completely drained me. After baby 2 I went back part time and worked from home once a week. It was a lot easier. I got my energy back and felt more effective. Now they're school age I work from home most of the time when they're in school. It's a life saver. I can give my job my full attention when they're at school and they get my full attention otherwise. If I had to go into the office everyday my life would be so much more complicated and I would hate it. I like my own company though and am very motivated at work so it's not difficult to stay focused out of the office if anything no time is wasted on coffee/ gossip.

I've always worked at home one day a week and loved it. I hated it though when I had to do it everyday for weeks on end during lockdown and begged to be allowed back in the office in July.

Thank you OP, you’ve managed to articulate my feelings here .

I’ve wanted to work from home for years and loved it at first. However, I’ve been wondering why, if I love it so much, that i am struggling to actually enjoy it now. Everything's an effort, my motivation is low, basically I am now close to hating my job and feel pretty miserable about logging on everyday.

I am really enjoying WFH. It's much easier to get hold of people if I need to as they are on the end of a phone. I feel I am more productive as there is less distraction. Also don't have to listen to my boss pontificating (big bonus).

Unfortunately my boss is now pushing people to come back into the office. In the main because she wants the social aspects. I don't want or need them. My job is one where people need to be able to talk to me and for us to look at things on screens. Teams is perfect for that.

zoemum2006, agree. There have been a few threads over the last couple of days bemoaning how miserable people are working from home and today we get reports about how businesses in cities are failing becasue of lack of footfall, and the government starting to push people to return to workplaces.

Perhaps this will be the catalyst to move business out of the south east and spread stuff around a bit more.....

I worked from home as a freelance writer between 1990 and 2005, before retraining, and I used to love it. BUT, I went to meetings, usually in London or another city, for interviews and pitches -- it was an odd week when I went nowhere. It was the best of both worlds: quiet to concentrate on reading and writing plus the cut and thrust of colleagues and clients face to face or on the phone (no Zoom or Teams back then) for stimulation and interaction.

I much prefer being at home. I've never really liked the enforced socialising that comes with working in an office. Nor the office politics that seemed more noticeable when you are with people all day. That said, I can see for some jobs wfh could be quite boring. As it is I still spend 70% of my day on calls so not particularly isolating. I do worry about more junior colleagues though. It's sometimes hard to get a sense of how they are getting on.

i've worked from home for 20 years. I find offices very noisy and distracting and our main office is so cramped that they had 3 people to a desk which they all found awful pre lockdown. I am not a very social person so maybe this is the difference and i have my home set up perfectly for home working - office desk, kit, specific room, even something to look at out the window

On saying all that it is nice to meet people face to face once in a while.

pre working from home i worked in an office but had a room to myself and worked with people in other locations - so i guess this wasnt much different

there have been studies to show that for detailed work you have to concentrate on you are more productive at home

@Devlesko

Maybe you'd be better off working in an office for an employer. WFH isn't for everyone, I've always enjoyed it, but am my own boss. I love being at home with dh, married 28 years and still so much in love. My dd has been home since March 13th and I've enjoyed every minute with her. I can't imaging woh, I'd miss family too much.

Hahahahahaha @Devlesko you are totally one of the people I dodged at baby groups, make the rest of us look bad!

No you're not. It wouldn't be for me long term.

I'd find it beneficial at the moment as I have small children and it would be nice to have the flexibility to do the school run and juggle things so I could attend sports days etc. but beyond that I much prefer being in a workplace with other people.

I love it but my kids are at nursery and my husband at work. I have an office shut away from the rest of the house and chat to my colleagues all day on the WhatsApp group.

I think a lot of people that don't like WFH are those that live people, and dislike being around their family. I live on my own, so don't have to share space.
I found it a bit tough the first couple of weeks, but now I find if I want a chat I'll bump into people I know if I pop out for a walk, or I can arrange to meet for lunch or a coffee (yes, I know "meeting for a coffee" is a whole other thread, and I am more likely to have tea).
Previously I did find WFH hard, but after and enforced burst, and having proper kit, like large monitor, full size key board and a proper office chair. Some days I find it hard to get motivated - I'll do something else and work later in the day, unless I have meetings.

Much prefer WFH now - I'm not planning to go back to the office any time soon.

I have wfh for years.

All the things people list about liking about being in an office, I despised. The socializing, the break room, someone popping by to chat about something. It’s awful and makes it impossible for me to concentrate. I’m expending all my energy just having to be around people. There is constantly that low level feeling of being on display even with a private office, which I had for many years before I made the wfh switch (a real proper office with solid walls instead of the now popular windows so people have to work in a fish bowl)

Wfh I can actually relax and focus on work. I can collaborate with calls and now more recently with video calls. There is no forced faked socializing. It’s just a vastly superior way to work.

@devlesko - Love WOH for working outside of the home - audibly it is just that - woe!

With you OP. It's the sheer fricking endlessness of it all. I've WFH for years, sometimes more sometimes less and in an environment where it wasn't really taken seriously.

So it's good that everyone has had to learn its pros and cons.

But honestly, I'm burned out between doing a management role and feeling like I need to support and motivate my teams, parenting a sensitive but sulky teen with anxiety issues and indolent 11 year old and supporting my DH who has a MrBig type job meaning that until mid July he could be on calls for 8 hours straight and essentially unavailable. Our house is clean but untidy and full of shit that the kids don't pick up and I am so fed up of rolling from my paid job onto the long list of thankless and unpaid ones and being moaned at if I hassle the two able bodied kids who have essentially been sitting on their arses all day to help.

I feel like I'm in a quicksand of first world problems as I'm solvent, in decent housing with a kind and supportive DH. But have been in tears of frustration twice today.

I've asked to be prioritised for the next group to return to our office in the City but don't have a date yet.

@diplodocusinermine

zoemum2006, agree. There have been a few threads over the last couple of days bemoaning how miserable people are working from home and today we get reports about how businesses in cities are failing becasue of lack of footfall, and the government starting to push people to return to workplaces.

Perhaps this will be the catalyst to move business out of the south east and spread stuff around a bit more.....

Fully agree. A move back towards smaller, regional offices, local hubs, etc would actually benefit the rest of the country outside London. We've had a few decades of brain drain from the regions into London and it's left lots of derelict/run down towns simply due to lack of quality professional employment. Time to rewind and put some life, prosperity and prospects back into the regions. (Of course, the London Centric media/politicians won't see it that way).