Inheritance

[Familyshitshow]

Trying to keep this anonymous as possible for obvious reasons.

Darling Grandparent has left a shit show of a will and we’re not sure how to break it to the grandchildren:

Grandchild A: has got everything except some cash (the house/possessions/car/jewellery etc).
Grandchild B/C/D/E: has got the cash (not huge amounts) split between them.
Grandchild F: has been written out of the will (due to ‘personality differences’).
Grandchild G: nothing (but shouldn’t be too surprised due to behaviour somewhat recently but never that close).

Grandchild A knows they’ve inherited all and knew for a while but was a shock once the Will was written. Most of B/C/E knew it was coming that grandchild A would get all as they were the favoured.

Grandchild F has no idea that not only weren’t they particularly liked by their grandparent (silly life choices that the grand scheme of things aren’t a huge deal), that they need the funds more than all. Grandchild G will be very bitter but don’t really have a leg to stand on.

How on earth should the will be ‘read’ and should grandchild A split between all?

When my great aunt, who never had children, left all her money to her nephews and nieces except one, they all decided to create a deed of variation to have it divided equally. That way no one was left out and it meant that no one felt aggrieved.

Unfair wills can destroy family dynamics.

Yes it is a person’s choice to leave their money to who they want to, but once that money is willed it is up to that person what they do with it. There’s nothing immoral or unfair about generosity. If grandchild A is up for sharing, that would be the best result all round. Depending on how awful the actions of the black sheep were, I would include them too.

If GP was their right mind when the will was written then it should be respected and followed.

Crikey. My great granny left house and cash between all her grandchildren. She left her best china tea set to her favourite granddaughter. My mum was so upset her sister got the tea set. I now think mum was lucky her sisters favourite bonus was only the tea set.

My mum also had an unmarried uncle who owned a farm. He left his farm to his favourite nephew. This made mum more cross as the farm was worth millions. She didn't dispute though. She saw it coming as uncle and nephew were very close.

How old are the grandchildren?

How much are we talking here?

As others have said, it isn’t up to you or anyone else to decide what grandchild A should do with their inheritance. Legally, grandparent’s possessions should be split as per what is written in their Will, unless there is proof that grandparent wasn’t “of sound mind” or had POA in place, when Will was written.

I presume a solicitor wrote up the Will, according to grandparents wishes, therefore I doubt that there is any grounds for contesting it. Yes, it is a shit show, and it will cause a lot of bitterness, but their wishes have to be carried out!

Btw, I think OP means 'how should the will be 'read' in the sense of 'how should the executors understand and interpret the will'. Not 'in what location, or tone of voice should it be read out loud'.

Obviously the executors should, as they are legally bound to do, enact the wording of the will, going through the probate process and paying tax as required, seeking advice and assitance from a solicitor as necessary. There really is no room for interpretation or ambiguity.

P. S. Nephew had worked on uncles farm for about 20 years before he was willed it. Everyone knew he was the heir apparent. Mum was cross he'd inheried the lot. Farm, money and two houses - it was an estate worth about 3 million.

I'm grandchild A

Thank you very much 😂

@lottiegarbanzo

Btw, I think OP means 'how should the will be 'read' in the sense of 'how should the executors understand and interpret the will'. Not 'in what location, or tone of voice should it be read out loud'.

Obviously the executors should, as they are legally bound to do, enact the wording of the will, going through the probate process and paying tax as required, seeking advice and assitance from a solicitor as necessary. There really is no room for interpretation or ambiguity.

I think "how should the will be read" is actually more "Who the fuck has the shit job of telling Grandchild F, who is unaware their GP didnt' like them, the news?"

The Will should be carried out according to what was written in the Will. If A wants to be generous and re-distribute the money, that is her decesion, and hers alone, but she doesn’t actually have to or is obliged to.

It’s irrelevant who needs the funds more.

Btw, I think OP means 'how should the will be 'read' in the sense of 'how should the executors understand and interpret the will'. Not 'in what location, or tone of voice should it be read out loud'

The will is explicitly clear and not difficult to understand, from what the op has said.

My mum also had an unmarried uncle who owned a farm. He left his farm to his favourite nephew. This made mum more cross as the farm was worth millions

The sense of entitlement some people have towards other people’s money and property never ceases to amaze me.

The Will is as it is, but grandchild a (and the others who got something) could decide to split the money differently if they want. Obviously a holds all the cards. This happens relatively frequently and families do decide to change the allocation of the will more fairly. There's a specific procedure but you don't need a solicitor

Depends what 'silly differences' are, has grandchild f swanned about the world doing nothing and not being financially independent and not been in touch all with GP, while A has worked hard and been a supportive carer of GP?

If all of the beneficiaries agree, they can choose to vary the will (this is the case in Scotland anyway, possibly not in England?).

It’s therefore really a question of whether there is consensus among the GCs. If A and the others who are inheriting want to share it more equally with those who aren’t, they can seek a variation.

If they don’t all agree, it’s still open to the ones who did inherit to just make unilateral gifts of parts of their portion to those who didn’t inherit.

If the ones who did inherit don’t want to share they can’t be compelled to.

Sorry you’re having to deal with this - I never understand why a person would want their last act on earth to be one of spite around inheritance!

A should do whatever they want with it. Don’t pressure them into giving it up to keep others happy. Maybe A made all the effort with the grandparents and F and G never bothered?

The OP does state the reasons though - silly life choices for F who has no idea that the grandparent didn't like them whereas G "will be very bitter but don’t really have a leg to stand on." The OP also states that of all the grandchildren F would actually be the one who'd benefit most from any help. define silly life choices though. What to one may just seem like silly life choices may to another be something which they cannot reconcile, and that is their prerogative.

And I have no time for people who think less of others who inherit over themselves. If a will causes divisions within a family member it is down to those family members, not the person who wrote the will.

To hold a grudge against someone who inherited more than you who decides not to give you any of it is pathetic and says a lot more about you than it does them.

I had a relative who left some of his money to one stepson and the rest to charity. He left nothing to the other step kids but had lent them all significant sums over the years, but the arguments that caused were unreal. They all fell out with the stepson who had inherited, then they all fell out with one another because some were apparently lent more money than others and some felt that the one who inherited should make up the difference to them. The stepson who inherited now has 0 relationship with any of them and `I don’t blame him.

As for the rest, I have no time for any of them, and if I came into money they would be the last people on earth I o would tell, as their expectations would be very clear.

I'm grandchild A

Thank you very much 😂

Behave!

I have no idea what you should do, but honestly what a petty and spiteful move on the part of the grandparent, especially regarding child F.

Went too soon!

It’s possible to make a deed of variation - but only if all the legatees agree.
My dd and his brothers did this when one of them had been cut out of a relative’s will, for a reason that no longer existed. (Super-extravagant spendthrift ex wife).

To be excluded like F is being could be so hurtful. Some parents/grandparents might enjoy that power. Most of us wouldn't. Some parents favour one child over their sibling(s), most don't.

All my grandfather's substantial estate went to charities after his second wife, who was childless, inherited more or less the lot. His actions in changing his will from her having life interest in his properties to owning everything outright created a deep hurt in his children. He had young grandchildren for whom he'd previously intended his assets to go to eventually, stepmother made sure that didn't happen.

Who knows what influences someone's mind.

I think this is a terrible thing to do of the Grandparent. I wonder if they stopped to think how grandchild A would feel and the others!

If f was left out as they were say gay, I'd find it offensive if a didn't give them the sane share as b-e.

Just tell them the truth. It’s fair to comment that what the grandparent did was spiteful. Maybe A will decide to redistribute.

My grandparent nearly did this because one of my siblings was so disrespectful (behaviour, damage to their property) but I think my parents talked them out of it.