Inheritance

[Familyshitshow]

Trying to keep this anonymous as possible for obvious reasons.

Darling Grandparent has left a shit show of a will and we’re not sure how to break it to the grandchildren:

Grandchild A: has got everything except some cash (the house/possessions/car/jewellery etc).
Grandchild B/C/D/E: has got the cash (not huge amounts) split between them.
Grandchild F: has been written out of the will (due to ‘personality differences’).
Grandchild G: nothing (but shouldn’t be too surprised due to behaviour somewhat recently but never that close).

Grandchild A knows they’ve inherited all and knew for a while but was a shock once the Will was written. Most of B/C/E knew it was coming that grandchild A would get all as they were the favoured.

Grandchild F has no idea that not only weren’t they particularly liked by their grandparent (silly life choices that the grand scheme of things aren’t a huge deal), that they need the funds more than all. Grandchild G will be very bitter but don’t really have a leg to stand on.

How on earth should the will be ‘read’ and should grandchild A split between all?

Its not a shitshow. The testator has a perfect right to distribute their assets exactly the way they wish.

The Executor normally informs beneficiaries formally in writing.
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A should not be put under any pressure to "share".

These "Wills" threads are always an eye-opener into how many posters here know so little about inheritance and Wills, they obviously haven't made one.

If it’s not about the money, but instead about grandparents feeling toward GC, then A sharing the money won’t change that. Grandparent made his wishes clear, and it was his money. Overruling what someone does with their own cash doesn’t seem OK.

However, if A gives the money to others, that’s equally A’s choice. I’m not sure that would ease I’ll-feeling much though.

It’s very sad that grandparents didn’t consider how devisive and cruel the Will was.

@2bazookas

These "Wills" threads are always an eye-opener into how many posters here know so little about inheritance and Wills, they obviously haven't made one.

These Will threads show that many people don’t read the thread.

It’s not about the legality of the Will. It’s about the practical and emotional effects it will have on a family.

Its about leaving a malicious legacy designed to divide and destroy.

If F is 'kicking off' surely this just reinforces the reasons as to why she was left out the will. Has/will anyone point this out to them?

From my years reading MN threads on wills it seems they are sometimes the last chance a nasty and spiteful person has to be nasty and spiteful to their family. What a legacy.

I agree - but the other way round - ie seeing the nasty spiteful ness at the beneficiary level.

I did not talk about pressuring A. I said if I was A I would do the right thing. The grandparent may have made the decision but the person left the bulk of the money has a chance to put things right.

And why would whatever it is you would do, the right thing? What makes it right other than what you think? I assume you think the right thing would be to share, but lots of people would think the right thing would be to follow the gp's wishes.

What a mean spirited thing to do and such a way to cause a rift between all the grandchildren. If I was A/B/C/D/E I would pool it all together and split between everyone. No way could I see someone left out due to an elderly relatives ignorance.

The elderly relative was not the ignorant one.He knew more than anyone else who should inherit HIS assets.If some people dont know the reasons for his choice its not his issue.
Money in any society is not fairly distributed and fairness does not always mean equal.

My dad has done similar - cut 2 of his 3 kids out of his will and made it publicly known in advance, I presume with intention/hope of making us fall out over it. But it won't work. His sad behaviour will have no impact on us.

[quote Regretsandregrets]So, rather than distributing among the family 'A' might consider giving it all to a charity? As some posters have said its not about the money so that should save all family relationships since no one will benefit from inheritance.Fair??[/quote]
Not to A.

I feel really sorry for A. Their grandparent made a bunch of decisions and now they're being expected to carry the can for it.

If the rest of the alphabet relatives can't keep their grievance with their grandparent separate from their relationship with A, then maybe grandparent had a point. There's clearly far more going on here than the OP has imparted.

I am sure there is a huge explanatory to this. The grandparent was unlikely to have just pulled this decision out of his ass.

In MIL family, her mother got nothing, her aunt got it all. The sisters never spoke for the rest of their lives.

It's hardly the aunt's fault your MIL's mother got nothing. The sisters not speaking again is more due to their personalities and expectations - they weren't forced to fall out.

Ordinary people don't leave wills to grandchildren because they don't have that much money. Their stuff gets split between their own children and then parents decide whether or not to share the wealth down to grandchildren. I don't understand why the grandparents haven't left anything to their own children - aka yourselves? If you feel your children need money, give them some of your share 🤷

Frankly I find the whole affair distasteful. I have no idea what was in my grandparents' wills - and have no idea if they left anything to any of my cousins (I doubt they did, but as I said I don't know), and I couldn't have cared less anyway. No-one is entitled to an inheritance. Surely the executors have a duty to inform those who have inherited, and no duty at all to those who didn't, why all this angst about telling F?

Ordinary people don't leave wills to grandchildren because they don't have that much money. Their stuff gets split between their own children and then parents decide whether or not to share the wealth down to grandchildren.

Nonsense

It’s common to skip a generation - efficacious for tax purposes and hopefully, by the time you die, your adult children will already be well provided form

Indeed, it's very normal to skip a generation, especially when the grandparent is fairly old, so tehir children middle-aged and well established.

I suspect pp means 'ordinary' in the sense of 'poor' though, rather than 'normal'.

I agree re skipping a generation, dhs uncle recently died (was in his late 80s) and fil is outraged he didn't leave him anything. I need to amend my will as have nieces since made last one but will leave stuff to dc and said nieces rather than my brothers as makes more sense to me as brothers might die before me.

@eaglejulesk

Frankly I find the whole affair distasteful. I have no idea what was in my grandparents' wills - and have no idea if they left anything to any of my cousins (I doubt they did, but as I said I don't know), and I couldn't have cared less anyway. No-one is entitled to an inheritance. Surely the executors have a duty to inform those who have inherited, and no duty at all to those who didn't, why all this angst about telling F?

Why is it distasteful? Death comes to all of us, and these are just practicalities. If you talk about them before the person dies then there is less of a shock when they do die. I'm so glad my parents were completely open about all of their wishes - financial especially - so that I didn't have to even think about what we might have to do wrt to it, and could just get on with sorting the funeral, and so forth.

It's not distasteful; that's in your head, I think. Death is inevitable.

@lottiegarbanzo

I suspect pp means 'ordinary' in the sense of 'poor' though, rather than 'normal'.

No I suspect she means normal.
Nearly 40% of over 55s don't have any sort of will (that figure gets much higher for younger people) and only 3.9% of estates pay ANY inheritance tax (tax year 17/18)

Why is it distasteful? Death comes to all of us, and these are just practicalities. If you talk about them before the person dies then there is less of a shock when they do die. I'm so glad my parents were completely open about all of their wishes - financial especially - so that I didn't have to even think about what we might have to do wrt to it, and could just get on with sorting the funeral, and so forth.

It's not distasteful; that's in your head, I think. Death is inevitable.

Are you particularly dense? I meant it is distasteful people squabbling over who has been left what by a grandparent!!!!! The grandchildren who have been left money will be notified, the ones who haven't won't - and fair or not, it is the grandparent's choice to leave their money to whoever they wanted to. We don't know the full story here tbh. Why does anyone need to tell the grandchildren who haven't been left money anything - if they hear nothing, they aren't inheriting, end of story.

@Familyshitshow

Oh wow, a lot of replies to wake up to.

I don’t want to say how I’m related in the will as I’m trying to be anonymous as possible.

I think really I’m asking for advice how to break it to F in particular. F doesn’t have much of a clue, they know they’re not as well liked as A but nowhere in the same category as G. She will be devastated not only because she really needs the money, but more so that D/E haven’t bothered in years and still included.

WW3 has kicked off, some how F has no idea as nobody wants to deal with the aftermath of telling her but she’s jumped on the bandwagon of being against A. A is already starting to feel guilty but even if they did share their pot the damage has already been done.

Been there, done that. (Last paragraph I'm talking about) We had similar with my parents will, it's all sorted now but it's left a very bitter taste.

On read8 g these threads, it seems there’s a lot to be said for a) intestacy - ie let the order of statutory distribution take effect, or b)blowing it in your lifetime (if only one knew when would die), or c) just give the whole lot to charity

WW3 has kicked off, some how F has no idea as nobody wants to deal with the aftermath of telling her but she’s jumped on the bandwagon of being against A. A is already starting to feel guilty but even if they did share their pot the damage has already been done.

Wow you're loving this!!

No advice as there's no question to answer really. 'How do you break it to them' - with maximum drama, probably

Not from UK... is the estate worth the hassle of parents of other kids contesting will?