To be honest about my friend's decorating choices

[simplesimonsays]

Friend has been making the most of lockdown to redecorate her house. We have majorly different tastes in decor, I'm very minimalist, she likes things that are very busy, and friend knows this. A few weeks ago, she asked me for an opinion on a room she had just decorated. I tried to be polite and point out the bits I liked but she pushed me with lots of questions and I could see she was unhappy that I wasn't praising her decorating choices enough. Today she has sent me photos of her just finished bathroom, and I can't think of anything positive to say. Should I just lie and say what a great job she's done or should I be honest and point out that it's just not what I would have chosen?

JUST SAY IT’S LOVELY. You aren’t John Proctor signing away your good name. You can manage to smile and say it’s nice over this incredibly low-stakes and inconsequential question without impugning your immortal soul. I promise it will be ok.

This is perfect advise. Noting this mentally to myself for the future 🤣

Just lie. Don't be nasty.

Job well done - it's so you!

Have you not heard of a white lie

You won't be living with it, so why be unkind? What would be the point of that, when there's nothing to be gained for you except to have upset a friend? Tell her it looks fabulous and make her day. Sounds like she worked hard on it. Only a matter of opinion anyway.

It’s not about you and your likes is it?
We can all appreciate stuff that is nice even if not personally our taste.

I would never ask a minimalist what they think about my decor, LOL. I love decorating for the seasons. Minimalists don’t. Be polite, fib, tell her it looks nice.

You’re immature, silly and a bit nasty. There are plenty of styles home and clothes I don’t like but I can also appreciate them. I can see how they work and am glad when it makes others happy. If you really do struggle to do that ( though I doubt it I think you just feel jealous of your mate) then bloody tell a white lie. You sound like your lucky to have my friends.

Be honest! Life's too short and even besties are allowed to differ. If she's making a catastrophic mistake then you've enlightened it, if she's still dead set and loves it - then good for her and I hope she fucking loves her cluttered mad space!

What you would choose for yourself is nothing to do with it. There's lots if things you can say without declaring you love it. "It's wonderful youve got it the way you want it" , "Your hard work has paid off" "Wow, you've totally transformed it, what an amazing difference" etc etc

Really don't get the people who think it's so you' is a good thing to say. Ouch! If someone said that to me I'd be fairly sure they hated it. Also, somehow patronizing.

Oh hah, are you my friend? I finished my bathroom yesterday and sent a photo to my friend. I’ve put up some pretty unusual wallpaper.

But her response was “It’s perfect!” so presumably not you.

She wants validation, not honesty. Just say that she's done a great job, loads of personality, etc.

"It's so you" is basically "Well if YOU like it that's what's important." It's so patronising.

Just fib. Be nice and fib. My best mate and I have totally different styles - my house is a pretty gothic and quirky (I have stuff people buy for Halloween up all year round), her home is very homely and full of souvenirs from trips and tonnes of photos. I know she would never decorate her home the way I do mine or vice versa, but when one of us decorated and shows the other we are both really positive because the way we style our homes makes us happy. So why be mean and say “yuk, it’s awful” when you know that would upset your friend? It’s a bit of a no brainer that you just say “it’s great, I love the mirror/tiles/bath mat/wallpaper” surely?

"It's so you" isn't patronising, it just means "it isn't my taste but glad you like it". You can dislike someone else's decor while still being pleased for them. Honesty in a good friendship is perfectly acceptable. It isn't a personal insult, just acknowledging you have different tastes.