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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be honest about my friend's decorating choices

166 replies

simplesimonsays · 27/08/2020 19:08

Friend has been making the most of lockdown to redecorate her house. We have majorly different tastes in decor, I'm very minimalist, she likes things that are very busy, and friend knows this. A few weeks ago, she asked me for an opinion on a room she had just decorated. I tried to be polite and point out the bits I liked but she pushed me with lots of questions and I could see she was unhappy that I wasn't praising her decorating choices enough. Today she has sent me photos of her just finished bathroom, and I can't think of anything positive to say. Should I just lie and say what a great job she's done or should I be honest and point out that it's just not what I would have chosen?

OP posts:
nc600 · 27/08/2020 19:29

Don't just say "it's very you"

Jesus, she's needy as it is. She'll be straight back with "what do you mean by that"

"Great job, well done, looks fab" should do it

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/08/2020 19:30

I'd go with something like "wow! You've done so well getting all this done in lockdown, good on you! Looks fab!"

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 27/08/2020 19:32

"I wish I had your decorating skills"

"You must be knackered after doing all that, I bet the kids love it"

"It will be lovely for you to chill in the bath in there now"

There are a million things to say without lying or telling the truth.

I would probably just tell her its lovely though.

Bluntness100 · 27/08/2020 19:32

Don’t say it’s very her, that’s a bit bitchy.

Just say it looks fab. You’ll not be stuck down and dragged to hell for it. She’s your friend, make her feel good.

PablosHoney · 27/08/2020 19:33

I’d say ‘Great job little buddy’

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 27/08/2020 19:33

I always say an enthusiastic 'wow, it's amazing'. I am not lying as I am indeed amazed someone would want that in their house. They take it as a huge compliment. Win win.

Goslowlysideways · 27/08/2020 19:33

Just be nice and positive.

Illdealwithitinaminute · 27/08/2020 19:34

'What a transformation!' should cover it and is true.

RozHuntleysStump · 27/08/2020 19:37

What's it like?

SockYarn · 27/08/2020 19:37

But this is down to taste purely. It's not what you'd have, and that's fine. But if it's competently done then you just say how lovely it is, how hard she;s worked, how she's transformed the space.

I'd probably hate your decorating choices as minimal is just bland, boring and totally devoid of imagination on my opinion. But obviously if we were friends I wouldn't say that to your face.

namechangetheworld · 27/08/2020 19:38

Of course you should lie. DO NOT say "It's very you." Unless she has an IQ of about 12, she'll see straight through it.

I tend to give a quick compliment ("Ooh, I love that colour scheme!") and then ask follow up with lots of questions so I don't get grilled for any more feedback ("Where's your wallpaper from/Did it take you long to do?/Does DH like it?").

toomanyspiderplants · 27/08/2020 19:41

@Bluntness100

Don’t say it’s very her, that’s a bit bitchy.

Just say it looks fab. You’ll not be stuck down and dragged to hell for it. She’s your friend, make her feel good.

I am not saying to say that to be bitchy. I genuinely think it's a compliment!
NotQuiteUsual · 27/08/2020 19:41

Id compliment her skill, how well it goes with the rest of the house. How it feels very unique and you can totally see her personality through it. If you like her(presumably) surely you can think of something you like about it, even if it's just her ability to try something out of so many people's comfort zone.

GinWithASplashOfTonic · 27/08/2020 19:42

I bet you can't wait to relax in that bath - maybe not as creepy as that

It's very you

Love how you've matched / coordinated the towels with the tiles

The storage is very well thought out

The light reflecting onto the mirror will be great for doing make up.

Basically some sort of bullshit like that.

Toilenstripes · 27/08/2020 19:42

I lied to my sister who then decided she had a gift for interior design and offered to do my house. 😬

SantaClaritaDiet · 27/08/2020 19:46

Oh gosh, just lie, why wouldn't you. You don't live there, she does.

It's even possible to appreciate a certain style that would never in a million years chose for your own home.

There's not 1 valid reason why you should be negative.

ScrapThatThen · 27/08/2020 19:47

I love your style, it's so warm and luxurious, it looks great.

momtoboys · 27/08/2020 19:47

Just lie. What harm does it do? Truth is sometimes overrated.

dudsville · 27/08/2020 19:48

You lie! You describe it as fun or creative, what an fabulously interesting mix of colour and texture, etc., etc., etc.,

AfterSchoolWorry · 27/08/2020 19:48

Has she got a glittery toilet seat? 😜

FizzingWhizzbee123 · 27/08/2020 19:51

Just say it looks great. It’s a white lie that hurts no one and no good can come from the truth. It’s not like she’s asking your opinion on planning, the work has been done and clearly she loves it.

RincewindsHat · 27/08/2020 19:51

@PablosHoney

I’d say ‘Great job little buddy’
oh my goodness that made me laugh!! that was a great episode
TeensArghhhh · 27/08/2020 19:52

Don’t say it’s very her, that’s a bit bitchy

Not as false as saying, “Wow! That’s amazing!” When it’s obviously anything but. Why be false?

Mustbethewine · 27/08/2020 19:52

You don't have to live in the house. She's decorated to her liking. No need to be nasty about it, just say its very her and how you can see she's put a lot of time, hard work and effort into it.

simplesimonsays · 27/08/2020 19:53

SockYarn I know minimalist is not to everyone's taste and so dont ask people's opinions on my decorating choices. I also wouldn't be offended if you came round and told me you thought it was bland. I don't care, because you don't have to live here.
However, having read the rest of the responses, I'm going to go with some comments about how much hard work she's put in and if she asks me directly if i like the tiling etc, lie.

OP posts: