What do your work colleagues not know about your life?

[cluelesscher]

Mine know I like my fitness/gym time but don't know just how much of a huge part of my life it is.

They don't know I was bullied out of my previous position.

They don't know that I have been home studying to further my career.

I'm older than the rest of the team, but even older than they think

I have to work very hard to get the results that I do

I don't know as much as they think/assume I know!

That I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

Well, I hope they don't know that.

I get on with my colleagues but they only really know surface/superficial stuff. We chat about our weekends, they know I have a partner and we are looking to buy a house etc, we speak about tv shows we’ve seen or podcasts we like.

But they don’t know much more depth than that - my political views, my sense of humour, what I’m like with friends and family etc.

I like to keep my work and personal lives separate. I think depending on where you work many people have a ‘work persona’ which is a more professional, somewhat diluted version of yourself.

That I'm a lesbian and live with my partner of 10 years in the house that we bought together.

They assume I'm straight, single and live alone. Not because I've lied, but because they've never asked. I've never brought it up because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable (they're all old school and I'm early 30's)

We work closely together and have become friends rather than just co-workers. We even socialise together. I'd like to think they can tell me anything and I them. 10 years they've been with me and although one is beyond retirement age, she won't leave She's like a second mum to us all.

That I swear like a sailor.
I speak with RP and have a ‘nice’ professional job so it may come as a surprise.
I don’t discuss my political views or religion at work.

Lots of things, really - although in a recent team meeting everybody was reflecting on how WFH has meant we’ve all, by necessity as much as anything, been more open with each other about our personal and home lives, things we struggle with and so on; and it’s actually been really good.

My colleagues don’t know I’m in an open relationship and I can’t imagine I’ll tell them; although very occasionally there’s been some confusion if I’ve referred to “my partner” using a different gender of name than the one they’re used to.

They also don’t know a great deal about my professional background - what I do currently is very different from my early career but it never really comes up.

That I had a miscarriage in may and worked right the way through it.

I did however have to tell my manager one night as I was in agony and had to take 1 night off but my DP covered for me.

It depends on the colleague.

One of them knows me intimately.
Others have become fairly close and know a lot.
Some I've known since Uni, with gaps.

In a previous job, one colleague thought a glass of wine made a big difference in me. It was just my work vs social persona.

Most won't know I have an acerbic type of humour. I tend to keep it as my inner voice.

That I have an eating disorder (well they might, but they allow me my privacy).
That I am under the care of the mental health team.
That my marriage was abusive.
That my father spent time in prison.

WFH and video meetings means they have a fair grasp of the size of our home and now know what my children and husband look like.

They know my family lives a fair distance away because I really struggled with not visiting them during lockdown.

I've constructed a mask for work purposes and I don't let it slip so not much else gets through.

My real name

that I'm getting a divorce. Should I tell them? I don't want to.

That my sex life is BDSM, but tbh most people in my life don't know that. There's no reason why they would.

That my house is untidy (I use zoom virtual backgrounds for good reason) and that I’m great in bed 🤜

@excuseforfights

that I'm getting a divorce. Should I tell them? I don't want to.

Then don't. It's your private life. I told my boss because it was a very difficult divorce. It was nice to know someone at work knew, just in case things went really wrong and I needed time off. I didn't want time off (work has always been a safe/calm place for me) but I did ask for flexibility to attend appointments and Court. I told my other colleagues afterwards.

Just about everything, I'm a very private person.

Thanks @TheOrigBrave

I feel like I should tell my boss but I’m so embarrassed to have failed at my marriage. Is it ok not to say anything if the divorce is manageable?

@BaconsLaw 😂 Gas.
@HolyMerlot That is mad. Do you find ot hard not to mention your partner.
I worked with a lady she got married nice quiet wedding, she described her dress when I asked what was her wifes outfit like, she was shocked but happy I knew her new wife was a wife.
My work colleagues know the basics they know my personality too, I'm very kind and always willing to help, they don't mistake kindness for weakness, they know my boundaries I won't tolerate them slagging them a certain colleague I like most are mean to her.

That I am about to resign due to poor line management, which, despite it being flagged up and known about by almost everyone (for years) has not been addressed, because said LM is very useful to her LM as she volunteers for everything going. It is then delegated to me with unreasonable time constraints attached to make her look good.

I have reached my limit, but resigning at the time I have chosen will leave them in a right mess!

but I’m so embarrassed to have failed at my marriage
Jez don't be embarrassed you're not alone

Thanks @Emeraldshamrock

Previous employer, that I can drive. I never had a car at that time so everyone assumed I couldn't.

That I’ve had sex in the meeting room* with another colleague on a number of occasions 😂

*all surfaces wiped down afterwards!!

@excuseforfights

Thanks *@TheOrigBrave*

I feel like I should tell my boss but I’m so embarrassed to have failed at my marriage. Is it ok not to say anything if the divorce is manageable?

Of course it's fine, but you know there's nothing to feel embarrassed about. These things happen. I do hope it's manageable for you and you have a brighter future ahead.