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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?

328 replies

MummaW88 · 25/08/2020 20:30

I’m planning ahead for DD’s 1st birthday. She currently can’t have dairy or egg due to allergies. I’m hoping she outgrows them in time! It’s proving hard to find options for a vegan birthday cake; I’m not good at baking, and any bakeries nearby charge an extortionate amount for what I have in mind. I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes and has offered to make one, however she’s not confident with making a dairy and egg free one. My question, is it awful to have a birthday cake that she can’t eat? To clarify, I will get some little vegan cupcakes that she can have! she’d only be eating a small bit of the birthday cake so I thought cupcakes would be a good compromise. (I admit, the birthday cake would be more for me 😂) is that terrible?

OP posts:
FunorFitness · 26/08/2020 11:00

She's one of course it's fine! She doesn't have a clue.

VanillaShake · 26/08/2020 11:01

Haven’t rtft but are you in the UK? You can get vegan birthday cakes in Tesco, Sainsbury’s, ASDA...

Original poster
MummaW88 · 26/08/2020 11:11

@ThanksItHasPockets ah didn’t know that. Someone else had called me out for “ignoring” people’s suggestions. Turns out you really can’t win on here!

@C8H10N4O2 I will definitely buy her cakes going forward lol I’m happy to attempt baking but if it comes out bad, I haven’t got much patience for it! The shop ones are fine and I’m sure very tasty! Just a bit small for this birthday as it will be a lot of people coming to see her - big family and first grandchild/niece etc for a lot! So this one time I want a big fancy cake for her guests. In future I’m sure it will be a smaller affair and the shop cakes will do just fine Smile

OP posts:
Yesterdayforgotten · 26/08/2020 11:26

Hope you manage to have you party okay with the current situation and restrictions. I know people have been having relatives over but a large gathering may be difficult. Good luck op, hope your dd has a lovely day. I was similar to you with my first dc but now planning for my second dc bday I realise as long as there are some good photos and the baby has a little taste of some sort of cake that is all that matters. Also a glass of well deserved fizz for the parents is much needed as the first year is tough!

Firstbornunicorn · 26/08/2020 11:33

We have those allergies plus soya. I just made a vegan banana bread and iced it 😂

It was gross.

Irelate · 26/08/2020 11:35

One year olds don't usually eat the cake at their birthday party in any case, do they?

netflixismysidehustle · 26/08/2020 11:47

In my 42 year career of eating cakes, my experience is that Vegan chocolate cakes are absolutely delicious and there's a lot of recipes that result in a delicious moist cake.

Asda do a vegan birthday cake in the shape of an avocado if you wanted a child friendly design.

To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?
Mittens030869 · 26/08/2020 11:49

OP, I think some of the posters reacting like this are doing so because they are vegans and feel strongly about the issue, so it isn't just about your DD.

FWIW, I would probably have done the same in your shoes. After all, a lot of mums don't think one year olds should eat cake at all. (They certainly shouldn't eat more than a sliver of birthday cake at any rate, I think.)

But I think it's the only birthday where it would be reasonable to have a cake that she can't eat. At two, she'll throw a massive strop about it if you do it for that birthday.

TheWayOfTheWorld · 26/08/2020 11:50

@netflixismysidehustle "In my 42 year career of eating cakes"

Totally off topic, but I love this Grin

CrunchyNutNC · 26/08/2020 11:55

Were she 4 I'd say you were maybe being a bit unreasonable. Though that said, if it were a choice between one suitable but plain looking cake, and having two cakes one of which was more appropriately decorated (more choice available), then I don't see why you couldn't have two, one special looking one for blowing out candles, and a second for eating.

However as she's one you'll be able to do a slight of hand after blowing out the candles and give her a piece of a suitable alternative - no problem.

BoggledBudgie · 26/08/2020 12:00

So you’re going to give her a bit of cake that she’s allergic to...? Hmm

BoggledBudgie · 26/08/2020 12:02

Apologies think I misunderstood your post, you never said you intended to feed her the cake she’s allergic to 🤦🏻‍♀️ Really sorry!

Figgygal · 26/08/2020 12:10

www.sponge.co.uk/cakes/vegan-cakes

How important are the aesthetics?

Have to say I don’t think I’ve got any pictures of my kids with their birthday cakes over the years

AVL · 26/08/2020 17:29

My daughter had a egg allergy at that age. I made a cake using mashed banana instead of egg which everyone enjoyed. You can get dairy free Marg. She won't really mind at that age, so but what cake you want, but it is doable to make a dairy/egg free cake.

mummeeee · 26/08/2020 17:42

My DD was on a gluten, wheat, soy, milk and egg free diet when she turned one.
I found that Orgran were the best cake mixes to use. I made a loaf shaped chocolate cake and iced it with a number 1.

After spending most of her first year in hospital I would have found it very hard to make something for her birthday that she wasn't allowed to eat. She didn't swallow much but she was allowed to touch it and put her fingers in her mouth, which was important for us.

I totally understand and I think the vegan cupcakes is a good compromise, but I couldn't have done it. Half the people at her party were nurses from the hospital that had cared for her and her party was a celebration that she'd made it through was what was a very tough first year, so it wouldn't have felt right.

Also, I would worry it would have been an indication to friends and family that they didnt need to make provision for her dietary needs if even her parents didn't, iyswim. My friends were trying to not put out snacks that she couldn't eat etc, so to me it was really important that they were trying to consider her needs.

Sibsmum · 26/08/2020 17:44

Vegan cakes are easy, moist and tasty. Seriously easy.
This is for any Lemon lovers...
275g flour ( I use SR)
200g caster sugar
1tsp baking powder
100ml veg oil
170ml water
Juice of half a lemon

All dry ingredients in a bowl with zest of lemon
All wet ingredients mixed in a jug, then pout over dry and whisk
Bake at 120°C for 40 mins - when cool make icing with other half lemon juice.
Gorgeous with 2tsp edible lavender added at the dry stage.

Enjoy

FelicisNox · 26/08/2020 17:52

It's HER birthday so yeah very unreasonable.

She might be small but babies know when someone else has cake and they don't, plus it's the principal.

Go to the Cake Box and buy a cake she can eat.

minnieok · 26/08/2020 17:56

They have vegan cakes in larger supermarkets. Otherwise find a simple recipe and try - it's really not hard to make vegan cake. I make one with grated beetroot and chocolate that's super moist, you wouldn't know it's vegan then cover in buttercream substituting vegan spread for the butter.

QueSera · 26/08/2020 18:00

The internet is overloaded with vegan cake recipes.
So many bakeries and shops now offer vegan cakes.
You can take a vegan Betty Crocker cake mix, add a can of fizzy pop, bake and have a delicious vegan cake; along with vegan Betty Crocker icing.
It's so easy OP, honestly.

ddl1 · 26/08/2020 18:15

If she were 4 or 5, I'd say you were being U. But at one year, she won't have a concept of birthdays, or be envious of others eating things she can't, so it is really for you, so get whatever you want!

FizzingWhizzbee123 · 26/08/2020 18:23

I haven’t RTFT as it’s clearly gone a bit nuclear....over a cake!

Personally, for a 1 year old, I think it’s absolutely fine. She doesn’t know it’s her birthday and she really won’t notice if you feed her a yummy vegan cupcake instead of a slice of the actual cake. Of course it’s natural to want lovely photos to remember the 1st birthday and if it’s easier to get a regular cake for the main cake, I really can’t see an issue.

It would be mean to have a cake that a 3 yr old child or older couldn’t eat, once they are aware of what birthdays and birthday cakes entail. But for a 1 year old? Who is going to still get a nice bit of suitable cake on her birthday? No problems

Now the people who carry out “fruit smash” photo shoots with watermelons instead of a cake for the 1st birthday because a slice of cake (with sugar! The horror!) is unthinkable.... now that I think is nuts 🙄

hennaoj · 26/08/2020 18:25

When my youngest was 1, he loved food. He knew it was his birthday cake and he didn't want to wait to blow the candles out before eating it, he was crying and grabbing for it. Find her a nice Vegan cake and have a separate cake for the grownups.

claireyjs · 26/08/2020 18:39

Make a cal using a Betty crocker cake mix and a can of fizzy pop. Literally tip the pop into the mix , stir and bake. So easy xx

Bib1234 · 26/08/2020 18:49

We are egg and dairy free and Betty Crocker or Dr Oetker cake mixes and icing are all free of them. Super easy to make!

puddleduckmummy · 26/08/2020 18:54

Not read full thread but you can get a diary and gluten free caterpillar cake from Tesco. We got one for my son’s party because one of his friends had multiple allergies. Tastes the same as the other one

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