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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?

328 replies

MummaW88 · 25/08/2020 20:30

I’m planning ahead for DD’s 1st birthday. She currently can’t have dairy or egg due to allergies. I’m hoping she outgrows them in time! It’s proving hard to find options for a vegan birthday cake; I’m not good at baking, and any bakeries nearby charge an extortionate amount for what I have in mind. I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes and has offered to make one, however she’s not confident with making a dairy and egg free one. My question, is it awful to have a birthday cake that she can’t eat? To clarify, I will get some little vegan cupcakes that she can have! she’d only be eating a small bit of the birthday cake so I thought cupcakes would be a good compromise. (I admit, the birthday cake would be more for me 😂) is that terrible?

OP posts:
Yesmate · 25/08/2020 20:31

Ridiculous. The birthday is about her not you and what you and your guests can eat. If you can have vegan cupcakes then just have them.

TheNewSchmoo · 25/08/2020 20:32

She's 1. She doesn't care.

mayandjuniper · 25/08/2020 20:33

She's one, it's 90% for you and family anyway! Maybe bake her one of those healthy smash cakes as well?

Lockheart · 25/08/2020 20:33

@Yesmate

Ridiculous. The birthday is about her not you and what you and your guests can eat. If you can have vegan cupcakes then just have them.
She's 1.

She won't remember a damn thing and will have very little idea of what's happening.

Get whatever cake you want.

itsgettingweird · 25/08/2020 20:33

Asda actually have a range of vegan cakes now!

Found them by mistake as I'm GF and was searching for one for my birthday that others wouldn't turn their noses up at!

OverTheRainbow88 · 25/08/2020 20:34

Both my kids had a bday cake for their first bdays, neither of which had any of the cake.. we ate the cake they happily sat there eating some fruit!!!

OnlyaMummy · 25/08/2020 20:34

I think its quite mean considering the day is for her. My daughter has a dairy allergy and the only way I would get a cake she couldnt eat is if I had an identical one that was dairy free for her.

LaPoesieEstDansLaRue · 25/08/2020 20:34

Given that she is one, will have no idea it's her birthday and would presumably only be able to eat a tiny amount of cake anyway, I think it's fine to have a birthday cake primarily for you/family/friends to eat.

user1592512579 · 25/08/2020 20:34

No, its not terrible! DD gets to blow out the candles, you eat most of the cake. Is that not what happens with all first birthdays?

She will be fine with the cupcakes.

angelopal · 25/08/2020 20:34

A cupcake for her is fine. She is one so will not care

Poppins2016 · 25/08/2020 20:34

I think that's fine. My son only had a tiny piece of his first birthday cake - the party was really for us and our close family!

Lockheart · 25/08/2020 20:35

@OnlyaMummy

I think its quite mean considering the day is for her. My daughter has a dairy allergy and the only way I would get a cake she couldnt eat is if I had an identical one that was dairy free for her.
She's 1.

Is the day really for her or is it for her parents?

At 1 they'd be happy with bugger all because they don't know what a birthday is.

Nottherealslimshady · 25/08/2020 20:35

I think it's a bit silly. Asda do vegan cakes. Does it really matter what it looks like? She's 1.

CleanQueen123 · 25/08/2020 20:36

She's 1. She won't even know it's her birthday.

As an aside, DD also has an egg allergy and egg less brownies are delicious. Maybe a brownie stack rather than a birthday cake? Stick a few candles in the top ones and it's basically the same thing.

Original poster
MummaW88 · 25/08/2020 20:36

@Yesmate no need to be rude. Remember the whole “Be Kind” thing?

@mayandjuniper that’s a great idea! Thank you 😊

@Lockheart that was my line of thinking, at least she’ll look back at pictures and see I made an effort.

OP posts:
dwiz8 · 25/08/2020 20:37

She is one

The whole birthday party she won't remember so go for it

Yanbu

Notyouraveragecliche · 25/08/2020 20:38

She won't know any different, seriously it's fine. She will be ok with cupcakes. I hope she has a great birthday!

Original poster
MummaW88 · 25/08/2020 20:38

@Nottherealslimshady it matters to me yes as she will have lovely pictures with her beautiful cake and balloons to enjoy when she’s older.

OP posts:
MangoM · 25/08/2020 20:38

No, if course it's not terrible!
Getting a proper cake that you can eat, and some vegan cupcakes for her is a good idea. Even if she had cake, it would only be a tiny amount anyway.

Sh05 · 25/08/2020 20:39

To those who are saying it's rediculous or mean, how much of their birthday cake did your one year olds actually eat?
To op do whatever works for you, your one yr old will neither know or care

Rainb0wDrops · 25/08/2020 20:39

At 1 it's absolutely fine. Most 1st birthday parties are much more for parents and family than the actual child- obviously that changes quickly over the next few birthdays.
I catered very much with adults in mind including lots of prosecco! My one year old was none the wiser on her birthday!

Notthetoothfairy · 25/08/2020 20:40

I don’t think it hugely matters but, if it were me, I would go for a supermarket vegan cake to put the candles on. Of course, that wouldn’t stop your friend making a second cake for the non-vegan guests...

glastogal · 25/08/2020 20:42

Honestly, I don't think it would be super awful to do it the way you suggest.. however, there are loads of vegan cake recipes out there that are pretty easy to follow and yield great results. I'm surprised your friend is so nervous. This shouldn't be a big deal anymore.

PlanDeRaccordement · 25/08/2020 20:42

My 1 yr olds ate their first birthday cakes. I have pictures of them.

It is very easy to make cake without milk or eggs. Most cakes have no milk in them anyway and the eggs are always optional. Just look up a few recipes and use Stork or other vegetable shortening in place of butter. You can even use 4oz applesauce in place of 2 eggs if you want improved texture, just lower the sugar a bit to compensate.

MaddeningtheUnhelpful · 25/08/2020 20:43

Asda sell really nice vegan chocolate birthday cakes. At one I really wouldn't worry about a show stopper cake. Actually at any age I wouldn't... I'd rather use the money on extra guests to the party or an extra present but realise I might be unreasonable