To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?

[MummaW88]

I’m planning ahead for DD’s 1st birthday. She currently can’t have dairy or egg due to allergies. I’m hoping she outgrows them in time! It’s proving hard to find options for a vegan birthday cake; I’m not good at baking, and any bakeries nearby charge an extortionate amount for what I have in mind. I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes and has offered to make one, however she’s not confident with making a dairy and egg free one. My question, is it awful to have a birthday cake that she can’t eat? To clarify, I will get some little vegan cupcakes that she can have! she’d only be eating a small bit of the birthday cake so I thought cupcakes would be a good compromise. (I admit, the birthday cake would be more for me 😂) is that terrible?

But surely if you want lovely photos of her first birthday and first birthday cake, that should also include being able to show her her first birthday cake that she had? Or will you say, ‘this was your pretty cake but you couldn’t eat it’?

@badg3r right?! Honestly sometimes I wonder why I bother posting on here, some people are extremely rude and opinionated!! I’m thankful that most people are helpful or kind in their responses. I really hope she does outgrow it bless her.

@Zhampagne sorry I didn’t realise asking a question have people free reign to be unnecessarily rude

I have an apple sauce cake recipe the only thing you have to watch out for is the margarine use vitalite or another vegan one
the liquid is apple sauce it use sodium bicarb/baking powder dried fruit & mixed spices so its basically a lovely spicy fruit cake -you can make it with gluten free but you would need a bit more bicarb perhaps
it doesn't use eggs it was in a wartime cookery book (re-print I am not that old!)

@Hiphopopotamus I’m pretty confident she’s not going to interrogate me over whether or not she ate that specific cake...

My son doesn't have allergies but didn't even eat any of his cake. He doesn't like it. Nor do I in all honesty but he loved his hey duggee cake just didn't want to eat any!

OK OP. You’re looking for a row. Get a polystyrene cake if it’s just for the ‘gram. I’ll leave you to it.

@Zhampagne I’M looking for a row? Ok Hun 👍🏼

There are loads of vegan cakes in supermarkets now. Not sure what's wrong with them (she's 1; she doesn't care what the design is), but your friend could just decorate over the top of one of those if they aren't good enough. E.g.

groceries.asda.com/product/character-cakes/asda-vegan-chocolate-cake/1000192700194

Not that it is hard to make vegan cake anyway; your friend can obviously follow a recipe, so why not just follow a different one?!

(I use to use this for dd who had childhood eczema -she did grow out of it!)

Honestly I really don't think it's a big deal of the child doesn't eat any of the cake.. she'll have cupcakes if she wants them. People on here acting like OP isn't gonna let her near the cake or blow out the candles and make it about herself. Chill guys. Storms make people act weird.

Yanbu

As long as there is some cake that your DD can eat, why create more effort to make a cake specifically accounting for her allergies when almost all of it will be eaten by the other guests and she will not know the difference between her birthday cake and a vegan cupcake.

She is 1, the fun is the singing of Happy Birthday and blowing out the candles, which she can do with a "normal" cake that can then be enjoyed by guests while she gets to eat a smaller cupcake baked with her allergies in mind.

With my DDs 1st birthday we had a big cake to take pictures with/sing Happy birthday and then all of the children were given cupcakes to eat and the big cake was then given to the adult guests. It was done on a practical basis that as soon as the candles were blown out, we could hand the children a small amount of cake in portions that were easy for little hands to hold and could then take our time to cut/plate the cake to give to the adults.

What a strange thread, there so much choice for vegans now. So many easy eggless recipes out there too! What's your AIBU? A 1 yo is not going to care about birthday cake.

Just do what PP said and have a lovely chocolate Guinness cake. What better way to say thank you to yourself for making it to a year of parenthood huh?

Initially I thought "that's a bit unfair" but given she's 1, I'd just do candles and then take the cake away to cut it up and just give her a cupcake instead, and everyone else the cake - she'll never know or care. Fairly sure we ate all my son's cake when he was 1 anyway - he probably only got a tiny bit.

Roll your sleeves up and bake your daughter a cake she can eat. You will look back at the photos and remember doing something nice for her.

@melj1213 thank you you summed this up!

I've made this one several times, including with gluten free flour.
I've replaced the syrup with cocoa mixed into a paste and with mashed banana.
www.scratchsleeves.co.uk/recipes/eczema-friendly-recipes-toddlers-kids/egg-free-birthday-cake-recipes/

@SuperCaliFragalistic she’ll look back and remember me doing plenty nice for her. All the time throughout her life. I am a terrible baker. And yes, as I said in my OP, it’s more for me/the guests and trust me no one wants to eat my awful cake lol

How about just having cupcakes. A cupcake stack will look great and won't be conspicuously unfair. With DD's vegan cake right at the top with the candle.

If she was any older than 1 I’d think no but she’s genuinely not going to eat any of the cake anyway.
If you have some vegan cupcakes for her I don’t see the problem of her eating that and everyone else eating the ‘proper’ cake’.

[quote MummaW88]@CherryPavlova right?! Its to celebrate us surviving a whole year as parents lol![/quote]
Absolutely.

I’m actually a little blown away at how irate some people’s responses are! The insinuations that I can’t be bothered/don’t care/don’t want to do something nice for my daughter... I really am lost for words.

Thanks again to all the kind and understanding responses! Mumsnet really is a judgemental place isn’t it! (And before people say “well you asked” you can disagree with my suggestion without being rude about it). Honestly disappointed by some people behaviour. Sure this platform was designed for mums to support each other?

I'm not sure why you asked the question if you were already confident that that you were not being unreasonable.

Honestly it's really easy to make a vegan cake! You just sub the butter with oil and if gluten is an issue use ground almond. Google Nigella Lawson vegan cake, it's delicious! I lived on it when BF a CMPI baby!

We got a cake made for DS2, it wasn't hugely expensive but only went to the cost as we had a little party and other kids were there, we wanted him to be able to have some of his own cake. I would have made the nigella cake otherwise.

@SuperCaliFragalistic I didn’t say I was confident. I was curious as to other opinions. I didn’t ask for rudeness.