To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?

[MummaW88]

I’m planning ahead for DD’s 1st birthday. She currently can’t have dairy or egg due to allergies. I’m hoping she outgrows them in time! It’s proving hard to find options for a vegan birthday cake; I’m not good at baking, and any bakeries nearby charge an extortionate amount for what I have in mind. I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes and has offered to make one, however she’s not confident with making a dairy and egg free one. My question, is it awful to have a birthday cake that she can’t eat? To clarify, I will get some little vegan cupcakes that she can have! she’d only be eating a small bit of the birthday cake so I thought cupcakes would be a good compromise. (I admit, the birthday cake would be more for me 😂) is that terrible?

Waitrose do vegan cake

[quote MummaW88]@Nottherealslimshady it matters to me yes as she will have lovely pictures with her beautiful cake and balloons to enjoy when she’s older.[/quote]
I dont know anyone who enjoys looking at photos of their 1st birthday party. I don't know what my parents did for mine, and I don't care.

She's 1, so she won't care. Get whatever cake you want.

@Babyboomtastic it’s hardly excluding her... she having her own cupcakes made especially for her? And my friends/family don’t like to eat icing covered polystyrene funnily enough she’s going to have balloons, gifts, decoration. She’ll see that plenty was done for her, thank you. It’s not “just for show” it’s for all the friends and family coming to celebrate the day with her.

@bridgetreilly because making one big cake and a few small cupcakes it a lot more straightforward than making a ton of cupcakes?

@OnlyaMummy

I think its quite mean considering the day is for her. My daughter has a dairy allergy and the only way I would get a cake she couldnt eat is if I had an identical one that was dairy free for her.

Fgs! Seriously? She is 1!!!! How eill she even remember it. Get the cake. Give her the vegan cake.

So genius cupcakes are available in all supermarkets.
Tesco, sainsburies and Asda all have vegan birthdays cakes.
I've seen caterpillar cakes that are allergy safe too and they aren't expensive.

If you want a cake for you on your child's 1st birthday then go for it. She won't care or remember

As long as your dd gets some kind of treat, while everyone is eating cake... all is good.
I stuck 8 candles in a gluten free cup cake recently.
The kids were all very surprised to have a full sized slice of (normal) cake each.
(Precovid, when we could have a party)
Fancy cake for photos. Edible cake for dd.
Is all you need to worry about.

I’d just get the supermarket vegan one too. It would be sad if she sees the cake and reaches out for it but can’t have it. Or when she looks at the photos when she’s old and you have to say “well you couldn’t actually have any of the cake”. I wouldn’t feel able to lie myself.

www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/bakery-new/lazy-day-foods-free-from-celebration-chocolate-cake-650g-serves-10-

I really like the look of this one.

sorry @Babyboomtastic but reading this made me wince

OP is NOT EXCLUDING her daughter. The cake is not JUST FOR SHOW and it is totally for DD's birthday.

The guests will eat the delish cake and toast the lovely little girl and the caring parents who can celebrate the crazy first year. The LO can stuff her face with her special cupcake. All fantastic.

How anyone can make anything NEGATIVE out of this scenario is beyond me.

And years later DD will be perfectly happy with the explanation. "And you had your own special little cupcake because......"

@sunglassesonthetable honestly can’t explain how much I appreciate that post. People insinuating I don’t care about my daughter... almost regretting posting this thread!! Thanks again for the supportive comment

@MummaW88, I’d be tempted to have a big cake for everyone else and a small, matching decorated vegan cake for your DD, her own special mini cake to match. Icing/ dairy free ‘butter’cream to match the big cake. Even if the vegan sponge is shop bought, the icing/decoration could match. And it would make a very cute photo...

I said match too many times!

@MillicentMartha thank you that’s a lovely suggestion. I think I’ll actually do that

You could buy the vegan cake and ask your friend to redecorate it in the style you’d like? I don’t think it matters very much for this birthday, she’s so little, but for future ones where she’s more aware there is cake she’s not getting access to

@sergeilavrov the thing is (and please don’t think this is an angry response) I think a lot of people are under the impression that I’m going to dish up cake in front of DD and not give her any... I’ll be taking the cake out to the kitchen to cut up and serve so she’s not going to know what cake she is and isn’t getting. It’ll all look the same when it’s cut up.

Speaking from experience - my nephews were dairy and egg free for the first couple of years of their lives, my SIL friend made these beautiful looking cakes but they tasted disgusting! The kids didn't eat them, and the adults didn't really either. I personally wouldn't bother with the big cake, just get a normal one and do like you're probably going to and do a small one just for her I hope she has a lovely birthday

Get her a vegan Freefrom cupcake and buy a regular cake

This thread is hilarious, buy the damn cake you want.

As a parent of a child with allergies I wouldn’t have a cake with the allergens at all at the party, simply because even if all of the guests knew not to feed her any the risk of her swiping some would be too great.

@Heartofglass12345 thank you 😊

@BanningTheWordNaice honestly regretting posting this now lol I mistakenly thought I’d get some friendly/helpful suggestions to alternative options, not a load of abuse!

For years my ds wouldnt eat cake so I made jelly with fruit pieces in it, candles in and he got to eat his cake. Cake doesnt have to be sponge and highly decorated

Get a cake it's a celebration after all!
You're mum so you deserve it

For mines first birthday I got some tiny cupcakes (had already checked friends babies could have one) and it was her first ever cake so I was ok with it... the adults on the other hand had a large fancy version of what the little ones had!
Why not?!

I'd get a big cake and something little for dd to enjoy as a treat- birthdays only come once a year!

@MrsP2015 thank you I see it that way too, it’s a celebration for all who love her dearly. She’s going to be spoilt beyond belief and will have lovely treats

Mumma if you get a box of betty Crocker cake mix and add any can of fizzy pop you will have a egg and dairy free cake.

Seriously -

Box mix
Soda.

I make one for my friends Dd every year.

I tend to use the rainbow mix and spite. Really light fluffy cake