To have a birthday cake DD can’t eat?

[MummaW88]

I’m planning ahead for DD’s 1st birthday. She currently can’t have dairy or egg due to allergies. I’m hoping she outgrows them in time! It’s proving hard to find options for a vegan birthday cake; I’m not good at baking, and any bakeries nearby charge an extortionate amount for what I have in mind. I have a friend who makes beautiful cakes and has offered to make one, however she’s not confident with making a dairy and egg free one. My question, is it awful to have a birthday cake that she can’t eat? To clarify, I will get some little vegan cupcakes that she can have! she’d only be eating a small bit of the birthday cake so I thought cupcakes would be a good compromise. (I admit, the birthday cake would be more for me 😂) is that terrible?

Of course it would be fine. At 1 she isn't going to know that the party is for her anyway, and will be happy eating whatever she is given. I'm sure the guests will enjoy the cake!

@SpillTheTeaa made me LOL

I don’t think it matters really but I’d probably try to make it so that your daughter can eat the main birthday cake. Most supermarkets do some. But I think if you’re friend makes nice cakes, I’d ask her to try making one to suit your daughters needs, I’m sure she’ll do a great job.

minimalistbaker.com/one-bowl-vegan-chocolate-cake/

You can make this cake in less time than it'd take to get to ASDA and buy one of their several-day-old alternatives. Also, you don't get to lick the bowl when you buy cakes in the supermarket.

You can google vegan cake recipes. They do take a bit of practice tho. I do remember seeing a vegan chocolate cake in Asda recently so might be worth checking.

By the way, sorry you've had such a hard time on here OP. Honestly, all this nonsense about not having photos of your DD eating the cake etc. - in 20 years times you probably wouldn't even be able to find the photos! Your daughter is not going to be crying in a corner because the cake wasn't made for her. Go ahead with your plans and have a lovely party.

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze she’s really not very confident (I have no idea why as her cakes are stunning and taste wonderful!) as she is doing this out of kindness I don’t want to put her under pressure. It’s hard to explain if you don’t know her lol but she offered to make the cake back before we knew about the allergies, and she’s still happy to try but I’m not sure it’s worth her stressing over a cake DD would probably only eat a tiny portion of. I’m sure she’d do a wonderful job but she isn’t so sure herself.

@eaglejulesk thank you so much. There are some lovely and kind responses on here. It just amazes me how some people are... I guess I was just raised to be polite and kind to people!

Use Vitalite dairy free margarine and if she is ok with them add mashed banana instead of egg or buy egg substitute.

Mrs Cupcake has a great recipe book. The chocolate cake with rose water is like eating a Turkish Delight. Very easy to make and non vegans enjoy it just as much. My daughter made it for my birthday.

I'm not sure why you asked the question if you were already confident that that you were not being unreasonable.

It's pretty clear to lots of other posters though. Seemed a very reasonable ( and uncontroversial ) question. Do t know why you're getting so steamed up.

Absolutely fine, at 1 my little girl couldn't care less about the cake, at 2 she couldn't wait to get her hands on it :) hopefully your little one will grow out of the allergies by 2 and you will have the same problem :) :) xx

For my youngests first birthday they all had cupcakes (cookie monster ones) - I think you can go down that route and have one that she can eat and matching ones for everyone else - or you have a birthday cake that she can eat

I have coeliacs and when I suggested having a normal cake for DH and the kids and a cupcake for me they all protested (Carl the Catepillar from Tesco is Gluten and Dairy free and does taste ok - not sure about egg)

This is Mumsnet. She will hold it against you for years, be traumatised, probably need counselling for cake anxiety and if she abandons you in your old age, serves you right.
Otherwise, go for it!

@sunglassesonthetable honestly I never knew cake would get people so riled up lol!

@Pinklittle oh I really hope so too! Xx

MummaW88

I think your friend should be more confident in her cake making abilities.🤣 But I get it, she’ll want it to be perfect for your daughter and would feel under pressure. I wouldn’t stress, give your daughter the cupcake and and everyone else the other cake. I always think an important part of parenting is knowing sometimes its ok to take the option which cause you least stress, especially when you can get away with things because the children are too young to realise. I’m sure you’ll all have a lovely day.

@katy1213 that actually made me laugh out loud! Thank you, that cheered me right up!

Get the cupcakes, get your friend to decorate them beautifully, stick a candle in one of those, job done. I do think it's ridiculous to get a big cake that she can't even eat.

Enjoy the cake :) xx

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze she really should, honestly her cakes are stunning. Thank you I’m sure we will

YANBU she will not care or remember

@bridgetreilly I’ll have a lot of friends and family coming by. Plus cake is never ridiculous is my house

Honestly, your plan made me feel a little sad. It's like you want the nice cake for show, but it's not something you are doing for her on her birthday :-(

I get that she's one (I have one that age myself), and she won't care, but if you want her to look back on the pictures, surely she's going to see that you made that effort for the guests but excluded her.

It's a vegan cake, it's not that difficult. By all means get a cake for the adults, but her birthday cake should surely be a cake that she can eat. Or have a stack of cupcakes, some of which are vegan, some of which aren't. You can make butter icing with stork, and most store bought sugar paste is vegan, so the decoration shouldn't be any different.

It's like it's for show. As someone said, you could just cover a polystyrene board at this rate.

YANBU she will not care or remember

Tbf, this is why I think the OP is being unreasonable! The baby won't care or remember, so why get the big cake that she won't even enjoy on the actual day either?

My DD was allergic to eggs, so couldn't eat her "birthday" cake on her 1st birthday, but me and the guests could - it was yummy! I gave her an egg-free cupcake. She's outgrown the allergy now.

I’ll have a lot of friends and family coming by.

Yes, but why can't they all eat the cupcakes, along with the birthday girl?!