List of rules making me feel on edge

[Ziggyzaggy]

My daughter has been home since march and will be going into year one next week. The school said that they will be in a class bubble before the summer holidays. They made it clear that the kids would just be mixing in that one class. I was fine with it and because she's in with her best friend I know she'll be happy. We've just had a long email from the headmaster with all the new rules and guidance and plans in place. Basically the kids will be going through the fire exits into the classroom. They won't be allowed to use the corridors. They have decided that despite the government saying they don't need to social distance in bubbles that they are going to make them social distance anyway. they've decided that children can't touch each other in the bubble and no-contact games will be allowed. They won't be allowed to sit on the carpet and the children will be at desks facing forward. They will only be allowed to the toilet in a bubble slot and they are banned from sharing food. They have to clean up their own cuts and scrapes but if they can't you will be called to collect your child and clean them up yourself at home. the school will report your child to the health authority if they shows signs of being unwell but will inform you of this. They are only allowed to walk home with the adult and not with their class friends. They want us there for 9 a.m. in the morning. they don't want us to be early and they don't want us to go near other parents as we queue down the street. they are encouraging kids to go through the gate by themselves and say goodbye to their parents at the gate. the teachers are allowed to help children with work but have to stay at least 1 metres away and can't help them for no more than 15 minutes. my daughter has not been at school for months and barely got into reception before lockdown. I'm well aware that the schools will be supporting the kids as well and trying to teach these new rules in a fun way but I feel like my daughter will mess up every day. She's used to holding hands with her friends and walking with her best friend to school. They all used to share snacks after school in the playground. they are used to sitting together and working together as a team. suddenly now they're not even going to be allowed to sit and do activities together. I know it might sound worse on paper but I just think for a 5-year old this experience of school is really negative. They won't be having assemblies or anything at the moment and they've said for the first two terms that theres no school meals. It just sounds really tough for a five-year-old. I hope the school make it fun and this doesn't put my daughter of going to school. It upsets me to think of her being told off for going near friends. they've also said that people can't pick your child up from a different bubble. that's going to make it hard for some parents as they used to share the school runs with friends last year. I'm presuming that my family can collect my child if there's ever a reason I can't go go but it just all seems very strict at the moment. I understand but it's confusing for them to suddenly not be allowed to do anything they used to. Not to mention having to walk in alone from the gates after a long break to a new class and teacher.

It looks like these plans are remaining until at least January. Kids will be full of anxiety being expected to be so mature so young.

Unfortunately it's to try to keep them and staff safe. My daughter goes into year 6 in September. Her school bus no longer runs and she starts at 8.45 but finishes at 2.45. My school finishes at 3.35! It's a logistical nightmare getting her to school now as I don't drive. However , at least primary schools have plans in place. I've heard nothing from the secondary school I teach at.

There's a lot of variety between schools anecdotally. Ours is nothing like this (and my youngest has been back since June). They are for example not pushing SDing within bubbles at all, much to my relief.

Your DD has been at home since March. She won't really be aware of how different things are compared to how they used to be, and compared to what YOU expected. Most of it will be normal for her. Help her to follow the rules that exist now, rather than fret over how you think things are supposed to be. She'll be fine. You?

Seeing as she's only 5, and only spent a short amount of time in reception, and hasn't been there for months, i reckon she'll adapt pretty quickly. If all the adults around her treat it like normal, it will feel normal. Try not to freak her out.

It does sound like her school is changing things to a greater extent than some but I'd try and look at it as a positive. Because of all those measures it's more likely that her school won't have outbreaks and have to close, which would probably be more disruptive and confusing for her.

The staff will make it all fun and positive, don't worry.

I just think it's a disgrace how it's all being done. Our government has messed children's lives up and now suddenly they are chucking them all back into school. Yet all these measures scream not safe to me. Dangerous. They are on about how important it is for them to be back yet they are stopping them being close to their friends. They are stopping the teachers cleaning up a scraped knee and not providing hot meals for children, some who probably haven't had decent food since march.

I fully support the teachers. But these guide lines are retraining children's brains in a negative way. It's taking the team work out and the comfort out. Ofcourse children won't necessarily notice things. But I think it's quite sad that the kids won't be sitting in groups or having storytime on the carpet. They won't be doing experiments in groups and can't even have any contact with another child. To me that's how you learn and settle.

It's rubbish. But we will see how it goes. If it starts to make her unhappy then I will look into other options. But I hope she settles. I'm just gutted for her really. Another year of missing out on things. Yet they wreckon it's not affecting children. They don't seem to know what they are going for in my opinion. Making it up as they go!

Prepared to get attacked but I. Really disheartened by four pages of strict rules and threats we will be contacted if our kids mess up. They are five for god's sake.

She'll be fine. It's the new normal.

It's not going to retrain them in any negative way, unless an adult tells them it's negative.

Don't be that adult

Instead be positive and excited about school gong back, and if she mentions changes, they'll her that now she's all grown up and gone up a year school will be a bit different but she'll get the hang of it in no time

It's these measures that are making it safe, or as safe as possible, for your child, the other children and the staff.

I'm not going to attack you and I understand your anxiety. However, I kinda wish mine has had little experience of school as they won't know any different and will adapt well to it as kids do. It's a small mercy in these weird times. Kids do well on knowing what comes next within a controlled boundary.

Wow, my dc primary is going back nearly as normal! Just a few minor procedural changes and things like no assemblies.

A lot of those rules are part of the risk assessment guidelines which have come from the Government.

They are there to protect the children and also the adults in school,,who are at greater risk than the children. The transmission from child to adult has not be ruled out as yet.

Outside of school, if following the English guidelines, your children shouldn't be in contact with one anther either. Social distancing is still in place, both indoor and outdoor, with anyone who is not part of your household or, for single adult families, part of your social bubble. This is regardless of age.

The children we had in school for children over lockdown settled amazingly well with the new rules and they had even more changes to deal with.

YABU and putting far too much emotion and anxiety onto this.

Your daughter will adjust and adapt very quickly to the new rules as long as you don’t put all your heavy emotion and anxiety about the situation onto her.

You need to be careful because even if you don’t explicitly say anything she can pick it up through your tone, body language and reading between the lines.

Marceline same for my DC's school - it sounds like it's going to be a few changes, none particularly onerous. They're doing more to try and enforce social distancing among parents and teachers than among the kids. OP your school's rules sound completely OTT to me.

I think a lot of it is in the messaging. Our school has similar rules for the most part, but it's not been communicated in a 'scary' don't-break-the-rules way. My DC are also older, so I get that you will be more concerned as your DC is littler.

I think in practice whilst they'll encourage people not to mix bubbles, walk home with others, try to get the kids to distance in class, it won't be that strict. They can't police what happens out of school anyway.

I think I would push back on the first aid expectation. They should have adequate PPE for a first-aider to help a child with cuts and scrapes. That's the only unreasonable assumption, I think.

A teacher usually doesn't spend more than 15 minutes with one child solely, when in a class of 30. There will still be storytime, but they'll be sat at desks not on the carpet. They will probably still 'work in groups' but not 'heads-together-touch-each-other' groups (less chance of headlice, hooray!)

Please try to make your DD feel positive about it, even if you aren't.

The Pandemic isn't going to magically disappear. Children are pretty resilient and will learn and adapt to the new rules. As others have said if you're anxious - she will be too. So smile and carry on.

Isn't this better than limiting their education?

I think they are being over the top. It's absolutely no fun for five year olds to avoid eachother and be sat at a desk all day with no carpet time and minimal outdoor time.

I think the mental health affect on children is going to be huge. But parents have this they will adapt attitude. Long term though what does that mean for them. Phobias of germs, people, places. Anxiety. Worrying about school and making mistakes. Missing friends in other classes. Feeling teachers are no longer kind as they keep moving away and won't help them when they fall. Less toys and equipment means less fun. We've got to tell them the germs are still out there after protecting them for months from them. It is not as simple as they will adapt.

Some will and some won't. I hope my daughter loves it. I certainly won't be saying anything to her. Although I think her nerves on the first day will be worse based on me not being allowed through the gates.

Have you considered deregistering her and homeschooling in an environment you're more comfortable with?

Phobias of germs, people, places. Anxiety. Worrying about school and making mistakes. Missing friends in other classes. Feeling teachers are no longer kind as they keep moving away and won't help them when they fall. Less toys and equipment means less fun. We've got to tell them the germs are still out there after protecting them for months from them. It is not as simple as they will adapt.

Are you prone to anxiety, OP? I am asking kindly, I promise - I understand if so. But this is a very, very negative viewpoint. All the teachers I know are looking to make school a very positive place when the children are back - they want nothing more than to reassure and help the children. Our school is planning lots of outdoor learning as much as is practical. They will focus in heavily on social aspects rather than just academic.

I too think it's the messaging. I work in a secondary school and our super-positive head is putting forward an 'It might be different and there will be changes, but we can't wait to get the kids back' kind of message, whilst my kids primary is very full on about what the the kids can't do, what the school won't be providing and generally highlighting the negatives. My child is also going into year 1, and whist I have concerns, particularly as she's a summer baby, I'm just going to go with the flow.

Just don't transfer this onto her, don't let her overhear you talking. Stay positive to her and she'll take her ques from you.

Kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. School was a lot more stricter and regimented when I did it, we survived... Because we didn't know any different.

When kids first start school there are loads of rules that you didn't have at home and they are expected to get over that quickly, how is this any different?? They'll get used to the new way of doing things without even noticing

I am not seeing the huge problem here - yes there are a load of rules they intend to implement but it's up to them to do that in schools. I'm sure they'll make a workable solution over time. As for story times and no desks in groups - I certainly didn't have groups (we all faced the front) and no "carpet time" as my sons did. It doesn't seem to be a big deal. Kids are very adaptable and will go with it, I think it's important to get them back to school and learning though.

A few of those rules eg carpet, no touching and desks are the schools on policies but the rest are from the government and are sensible measures.

Wow. I'm all for schools making it safe but that does sound more like a military operation. Dc went back school for 3 weeks before the summer holidays and I know what their school day will change again as they all go back. They've made it incredibly safe but it doesn't sound as extreme as your child's school.

They have highlighted that it's pretty impossible for young children to social distance and they don't expect them to fully. They think this will be easier with older children..

We have staggered drop offs with other year groups to minimise crowds. It's one toilet per year group/bubble I believe. They can go at any time just to one toilet and obviously a ta will over watch!

They aren't allowed to take backpacks of drinks but can take book bags and drinks. They are also going back to cooked lunches which will be ideal.

Even a paediatrician (Dd is under them due to speech issues) said that it's near on impossible for young children to social distance. Expecting them to fully is unrealistic.