List of rules making me feel on edge

[Ziggyzaggy]

My daughter has been home since march and will be going into year one next week. The school said that they will be in a class bubble before the summer holidays. They made it clear that the kids would just be mixing in that one class. I was fine with it and because she's in with her best friend I know she'll be happy. We've just had a long email from the headmaster with all the new rules and guidance and plans in place. Basically the kids will be going through the fire exits into the classroom. They won't be allowed to use the corridors. They have decided that despite the government saying they don't need to social distance in bubbles that they are going to make them social distance anyway. they've decided that children can't touch each other in the bubble and no-contact games will be allowed. They won't be allowed to sit on the carpet and the children will be at desks facing forward. They will only be allowed to the toilet in a bubble slot and they are banned from sharing food. They have to clean up their own cuts and scrapes but if they can't you will be called to collect your child and clean them up yourself at home. the school will report your child to the health authority if they shows signs of being unwell but will inform you of this. They are only allowed to walk home with the adult and not with their class friends. They want us there for 9 a.m. in the morning. they don't want us to be early and they don't want us to go near other parents as we queue down the street. they are encouraging kids to go through the gate by themselves and say goodbye to their parents at the gate. the teachers are allowed to help children with work but have to stay at least 1 metres away and can't help them for no more than 15 minutes. my daughter has not been at school for months and barely got into reception before lockdown. I'm well aware that the schools will be supporting the kids as well and trying to teach these new rules in a fun way but I feel like my daughter will mess up every day. She's used to holding hands with her friends and walking with her best friend to school. They all used to share snacks after school in the playground. they are used to sitting together and working together as a team. suddenly now they're not even going to be allowed to sit and do activities together. I know it might sound worse on paper but I just think for a 5-year old this experience of school is really negative. They won't be having assemblies or anything at the moment and they've said for the first two terms that theres no school meals. It just sounds really tough for a five-year-old. I hope the school make it fun and this doesn't put my daughter of going to school. It upsets me to think of her being told off for going near friends. they've also said that people can't pick your child up from a different bubble. that's going to make it hard for some parents as they used to share the school runs with friends last year. I'm presuming that my family can collect my child if there's ever a reason I can't go go but it just all seems very strict at the moment. I understand but it's confusing for them to suddenly not be allowed to do anything they used to. Not to mention having to walk in alone from the gates after a long break to a new class and teacher.

It looks like these plans are remaining until at least January. Kids will be full of anxiety being expected to be so mature so young.

“I love all the covid automatons on here, that will subscribe to any set of rules to get their kids back in”

My kids have been back at school for two weeks, class based bubbles, hand washing, social distancing across bubbles, staggered start and finish, no parents in school without prior appointment, no parents in school playgrounds, designated gates for drop off. And it’s been fine, the school staff are a caring and engaged as ever they were, they’re supportive of the kids and the kids broadly understand that school is a bit different. Both my two have struggled at points in their time at school, they’re return this year has been absolutely fine - I’m happy for them to be back in school because my children need to be in school. The new rules are fine, not too intrusive but it does feel different.

I’m not sure what the alternatives are? Close schools? Wrap teaching staff in masks and PPE? Wrap children in masks and PPE?. We can’t have children out of school indefinitely, their return this year has been fine.

It’s the new normal, your child will get used to it, it’s being done to protect the children and adults in the school, not to piss you off. As for “you’ll see how it goes and look for alternatives”, unless you’re happy to hone educate then that’s the reality in all schools, there are no alternatives.

I really wouldn't worry. They've written all this to show they're 'keeping people safe' and such but when the kids are actually there most of it will go out the window.

Absolutely this. Anyone who’s been at work or gone back to work that I know of has dutifully obliged to the covid measures and then most give up after half a day if that. More people have not got sick.

Don’t wind yourself up, we will have to see how it goes, there is no other way around it. We need to educate our children. Go into it with a positive mindset and make sure your child doesn’t pick up on your anxiety.

I’d be so happy if my kids school showed such a sensible approach!

Your DD will adapt easier than you. As you said, she’d not long been at school before lockdown and hadn’t been for almost six months. And I’m sure that teachers won’t be shouting at children for getting it wrong, they should deal with it in an age appropriate way, as they would if a child makes a mistake with anything else.

Hopefully all these measures will minimise the potential for future disruption to her school life.

Give it a chance at least. And make sure you’re positive about it to DD so she doesn’t pick up on your anxiety

That seems very different from what is proposed for ds3's school: it will be interesting to see whether they manage to actually enforce a lot of that. Mind you, if they do and their infection rates are markedly lower than those of schools who don't, I imagine their approach would become the preferred one.

Ds 3 is so fucking thankful to be going back to school and seeing his friends and having actual activities to do that I imagine he will (as far as a 5 year old with a tendency to 'get carried away' is able) comply with everything asked of him. And whilst I'd be disappointed to learn his school were planning what you have described, I am also so fucking thankful that he is going back at all that I would pretend to think the new regime was the greatest and most wonderful thing in the world ever and try and make sure he thought I was really happy and enthusiastic about it.

but when the kids are actually there most of it will go out the window.

I agree to a certain extent.
By my son's account, the midday assistants were pretty ineffective at keeping individual bubbles apart on the playing field - despite staggered lunch/play times and there being only 3 year groups in.

A ball strays, a kid goes to get it....
My bright 11yo came home and told me Ethan had shared his crisps. It's just automatic for them. I reminded him of course.
Most of the teachers were distancing, but there was one TA that just didn't seem to get it.
I had to remind him about WHY we hand wash and use sanitiser when he told me about them all smelling the sanitiser.

With the measures school are putting in place, as I said above, it will hopefully minimise the risk. The alternative is to stay in lock down for ever.

@VinylDetective

*Do you know what else isn't fun for 5 year olds?

Getting coronavirus, or being hooked up to a ventilator, or their parents/grandparents dying

But sure moan about the fact your child doesn't get to hold hands with her friend smh*

How many children have been on ventilators? How many Covid patients are put on ventilators now? There are barely any hospital admissions at all now and deaths are into single figures. I do wish people would get real and stop catastrophising.

They'll never stop catastrophising on here... before covid it was the hypothetical MN exploding car if you popped in to get petrol, or other similarly hyperbolic scenarios. It's a fallback option whenever someone feels they're losing the argument - only now it's chuck in granny on a ventilator rather than an exploding car at Esso.

I'm happy with how the kids' junior school are handling things - they're cautious and they're keeping the bubbles strictly separate but they're not conveying the anxiety to the kids or being ridiculous... I'm bloody livid at the infant school (mine have now left thankfully) who are planning on spending the first weeks of term teaching the nursery intake how to move around the school in a line 2m apart from each other. Which is fucking ridiculous, a waste of time totally (getting a new infant class to go in the same direction at the start of the year is like herding cats anyway), and will mean it takes them bloody hours to get anywhere!

I agree with you OP, I know kids adapt well but it seems really sad that they will not be able to do the things that come naturally to them ,hand holding, chasing each other around the playground playing tag and getting comfort from a adult when they are hurt or unwell. If school no longer feels like a fun place then they will not want to go. I hope teachers make the changes fun and kids adapt to the new normal but it just feels very wrong.

My dc’s are older, dd1 is going into 6 form but her school day will end at 2pm, each year group has to use a different entrance and exit to the school and they will stay in their bubbles, lunch times staggered.
Dd2 is at a sn school where children are unlikely to follow all the rules, she has surprisingly adapted well to changes due to covid but school will be very different, I’m still waiting for confirmation from her school as to what will be put in place and how long her school day will be.

They're being a little Draconian in their wording, yes. But tbh your child has spent as much time out of school as she has in it, and at her age she won't have any fixed ideas of how things are or should be. Just roll with it.

I've been in school throughout, and my children since half term. They've had no issues.

They have to clean up their own cuts and scrapes but if they can't you will be called to collect your child and clean them up yourself at home. This is definitely not the Government's decision op, my child is the same age. We've been told that there is no SD within the classroom bubble, they'll have designated playground space etc. In reality I don't know any teacher who will leave a 5 yo on the floor crying and bleeding for an hour until a parent can come, or who would trust them to put on a plaster etc correctly. Are you sure this isn't for the older years?

No, the children won't be full of anxiety. They're children, they are used to being told what to do, they're used to school having lots of rules. They will be fine, provided the adults around them are relaxed and confident about everything.

That said, it is very similar to the way school was when I was five. This was in the 70s. There wasn't any playing or shared tables. We sat at our own desks with lids. We did have playtimes and school lunches - but we were only allowed to go to the loo at break times, and then had to form an orderly queue headed by a scary teacher

This.

@Ziggyzaggy

I just think it's a disgrace how it's all being done. Our government has messed children's lives up and now suddenly they are chucking them all back into school. Yet all these measures scream not safe to me. Dangerous. They are on about how important it is for them to be back yet they are stopping them being close to their friends. They are stopping the teachers cleaning up a scraped knee and not providing hot meals for children, some who probably haven't had decent food since march.

I fully support the teachers. But these guide lines are retraining children's brains in a negative way. It's taking the team work out and the comfort out. Ofcourse children won't necessarily notice things. But I think it's quite sad that the kids won't be sitting in groups or having storytime on the carpet. They won't be doing experiments in groups and can't even have any contact with another child. To me that's how you learn and settle.

It's rubbish. But we will see how it goes. If it starts to make her unhappy then I will look into other options. But I hope she settles. I'm just gutted for her really. Another year of missing out on things. Yet they wreckon it's not affecting children. They don't seem to know what they are going for in my opinion. Making it up as they go!

Prepared to get attacked but I. Really disheartened by four pages of strict rules and threats we will be contacted if our kids mess up. They are five for god's sake.

She will be fine. It will just be how year one is for her, she doesn’t know that what is going on is unusual. She doesn’t know any different. If you are calm and matter of fact about it she will trust you that it’s all OK.

And much as I would love to blame the government for all of this, it’s not true to say ‘The government has messed children’s lives up’. A global pandemic on a scale not seen for over 100 years has messed the world up. I quite agree that the government could have handled most things much better than they did but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Those school rules sound very similar to my infant school in the 1950s! We sat in rows facing the front and our teacher stayed at her desk or at the blackboard for most of the lesson. We were only allowed to go to the toilet at set times and by ourselves.
Our parents weren't allowed inside the school gates and we went home at lunch time unless there were exceptional circumstances eg I stayed for school dinners when my mother was in hospital. Although my school was very strict and the teachers scary (but kind when they needed to be) I felt happy and secure there.
I'm sure your daughter will adapt to the new rules OP.

If school no longer feels like a fun place then they will not want to go.

School was fucking torturous when I was a child, still went, still got a good education. Buying into the idea that every thing in a child’s life needs to be fun won’t help build resilience - children need a level of challenge and adversity to develop resilience and to know they can do things that are hard for them. Asking them to follow rules about hygiene and health measures is hardly sending them down the mines.

They should be going outside. Outside is best. However they won't be psychologically damaged by sitting at desks facing forward and not sitting on the carpet or around group desks. Plenty of countries never stopped useing the sitting at desks facing forward chalk and talk model from age 5 or 6 and although it's less warm and fuzzy the results are very similar to or better than the UK in terms of both mental health and academic achievement. In fact the UK does really badly in self reported "low mental wellbeing" among children www.allianceforchildhood.eu/files/Improving_the_quality_of_Childhood_Vol_6/QOC%20V6%20CH08%20PDF%20DEF.pdf

@VinylDetective

*Do you know what else isn't fun for 5 year olds?

Getting coronavirus, or being hooked up to a ventilator, or their parents/grandparents dying

But sure moan about the fact your child doesn't get to hold hands with her friend smh*

How many children have been on ventilators? How many Covid patients are put on ventilators now? There are barely any hospital admissions at all now and deaths are into single figures. I do wish people would get real and stop catastrophising.

Research in the US has shown over 40% of all children who were hospitalized with coronavirus had to be put on a ventilator

More than 20% suffered organ failure

But sure let's risk children's health for the sake of them holding hands and sharing a packet of wotsits

I’m sure she will be fine and still enjoy her day at school. For five year olds it’s probably the easiest, they don’t have much as a benchmark and are usually good at following new routines. She’s cope better than an older child or adult

Interesting replies. We all feel differently as parents. I know it all varies on us an individual's and our children's ages. I'm not an anxious mess about it. It's just she's missed out on the play based year. Which all eyfs children have. Now she's going into a bigger year with more maturity required and concentration and stripped away simple things like sitting with a couple of other kids at a table. Not being able to hold hands and have fun like someone above said.

What I want to happen is her to be free in her bubble to play with the kids and if she holds hands with them I think it should be ok.

To the person who said they will prefer that over a ventilator. I'm not being funny but if they'd end up on ventilators if they went near their class mates then no they should not be open. It's not about that at all.

It's about expecting too much for five year olds. They start school too young as it is!

A caring headteacher, who has provided detail and does not want anyone to be infected. About the only thing the Prime Minister and I agree on is that school should resume.

The five year olds who have really lost out are those who have lost a parent (or more likely grandparent) during these last few months.

Unfortunately this is the new normal and as we want schools to open next term, there’s lots of changes and adjustments.

They have to clean up their own cuts and scrapes but if they can't you will be called to collect your child and clean them up yourself at home

This really isn't workable and I suspect they'll have to abandon it. What are they going to do if the parents work in a position where they can't just drop everything and come to the child? They can't just leave them with dirt working its way into a wound. There's also a case for saying that it's an illegal exclusion.

@dwiz8 bits that’s 40% of child that are hospitalised, not 40% of children that get Covid or 40% of all children!

Children do get it much milder so say 100 children get Covid only about 1% will even end up in hospital and then only 40% of those will be in a ventilator so less than half a child will end up on a ventilator.

40% of children hospitalised were ventilated. But what percentage of those who caught it were hospitalised? A very different statistic.