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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

List of rules making me feel on edge

235 replies

Ziggyzaggy · 24/08/2020 15:58

My daughter has been home since march and will be going into year one next week. The school said that they will be in a class bubble before the summer holidays. They made it clear that the kids would just be mixing in that one class. I was fine with it and because she's in with her best friend I know she'll be happy. We've just had a long email from the headmaster with all the new rules and guidance and plans in place. Basically the kids will be going through the fire exits into the classroom. They won't be allowed to use the corridors. They have decided that despite the government saying they don't need to social distance in bubbles that they are going to make them social distance anyway. they've decided that children can't touch each other in the bubble and no-contact games will be allowed. They won't be allowed to sit on the carpet and the children will be at desks facing forward. They will only be allowed to the toilet in a bubble slot and they are banned from sharing food. They have to clean up their own cuts and scrapes but if they can't you will be called to collect your child and clean them up yourself at home. the school will report your child to the health authority if they shows signs of being unwell but will inform you of this. They are only allowed to walk home with the adult and not with their class friends. They want us there for 9 a.m. in the morning. they don't want us to be early and they don't want us to go near other parents as we queue down the street. they are encouraging kids to go through the gate by themselves and say goodbye to their parents at the gate. the teachers are allowed to help children with work but have to stay at least 1 metres away and can't help them for no more than 15 minutes. my daughter has not been at school for months and barely got into reception before lockdown. I'm well aware that the schools will be supporting the kids as well and trying to teach these new rules in a fun way but I feel like my daughter will mess up every day. She's used to holding hands with her friends and walking with her best friend to school. They all used to share snacks after school in the playground. they are used to sitting together and working together as a team. suddenly now they're not even going to be allowed to sit and do activities together. I know it might sound worse on paper but I just think for a 5-year old this experience of school is really negative. They won't be having assemblies or anything at the moment and they've said for the first two terms that theres no school meals. It just sounds really tough for a five-year-old. I hope the school make it fun and this doesn't put my daughter of going to school. It upsets me to think of her being told off for going near friends. they've also said that people can't pick your child up from a different bubble. that's going to make it hard for some parents as they used to share the school runs with friends last year. I'm presuming that my family can collect my child if there's ever a reason I can't go go but it just all seems very strict at the moment. I understand but it's confusing for them to suddenly not be allowed to do anything they used to. Not to mention having to walk in alone from the gates after a long break to a new class and teacher.

It looks like these plans are remaining until at least January. Kids will be full of anxiety being expected to be so mature so young.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 24/08/2020 20:55

No our schools are doing hot meals, with a preorder system and staggered lunch breaks. They also have an informal uniform of school polo shirts and school trousers. They are asking that clothes are fresh each day and have suggested not sending kids in shirt and tie.

ineedaholidaynow · 24/08/2020 20:59

Local Primaries are doing packed lunches as pupils are eating in their classrooms as wouldn't have time to clean the dining hall between bubbles.

shesaidshesleavingonasunday · 24/08/2020 21:06

It's fucking stupid and that is a hill I will die on.

But schools have always been ones for pointless, arbitrary, illogical rules, so it doesn't surprise me.

FlySheMust · 24/08/2020 21:08

@NikeDeLaSwoosh
I'm a bit confused. You talked of the vast majority wanting things back to normal. Then you speak of the ignorant masses.

I agree they are one and the same but I'm not sure it's what you meant.

I'm happy to be guided by the science which says SD for the indefinite future and more widespread mask wearing.

shesaidshesleavingonasunday · 24/08/2020 21:11

Research in the US has shown over 40% of all children who were hospitalized with coronavirus had to be put on a ventilator

Right, and hardly any children were hospitalised, so that is still a very small number.

Nottherealslimshady · 24/08/2020 21:16

I dont see how much your daughter can possibly be "used" to when she's been in school for like 6 months, 6 months ago.

IrishMamaMia · 24/08/2020 21:21

I'm just amazed the school will be able to implement all this! I've never worked in a school that could implement school uniform.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 24/08/2020 21:22

They won't be allowed to sit on the carpet

I am for once very happy children won't sit on the filthy carpets fiddling with their outdoor shoes.

shesaidshesleavingonasunday · 24/08/2020 21:24

I am for once very happy children won't sit on the filthy carpets fiddling with their outdoor shoes.

Dear god, not outdoor shoes! Have you alerted the church elders?

Michaelschofield · 24/08/2020 21:28

Your poor dd. I would not want that as her new normal. I would change her to a more sensible school . The rules are ridiculous and unnecessary.

frazzledquaver · 24/08/2020 21:28

OP, if your dd is going back to school she's going to need to abide by the rules, and it's probably better that she starts off with fairly strict rules than has to learn a whole set of new ones as infections rise. There may be vulnerable families in her class (that you may not be aware of). For what it's worth, I do think it's a fairly strict interpretation of the guidelines, and that might not be in the best interests of your child, but it probably is in the best interests of the wider community. You could look at homeschooling, perhaps forming a homeschooling bubble with any other children locally?

Thripp · 24/08/2020 21:30

It's all bloody ridiculous.

I'm happy to be guided by the science which says SD for the indefinite future and more widespread mask wearing

Some people would stand on one leg for a month if the same bollocks science told them it would stop people from DYING. Where has critical thinking gone?

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 24/08/2020 21:33

Dear god, not outdoor shoes! Have you alerted the church elders?

Haha, no Grin

Michaelschofield · 24/08/2020 21:35

Why is everyone so over the top with a virus that has a 99% survival rate? Everyone has gone mad.

Thripp I agree with you .

SleepingStandingUp · 24/08/2020 21:40

@Ugzbugz

I dont get how 4 weeks ago they couldn't wear school uniform and had to have freshly washed clothes everyday and PE In same clothes and in a class of 11 and now they are classes of 30 wearing the same blazer everyday? Weve had no guidance on what will happen but DC is starting secondary school.

However he is back at his sports which is allowed with children from different bubbles so not sure if that's been considered.

Does everyones child have to have packed lunches ?

We have to have a clean uniform everyday. Primary so no blazer. But I'd expect schools to either insist blazers are put away like coats or ban them.

Ours have school lunches as usual

yuckusernames · 24/08/2020 21:41

You're not being unreasonable. It sounds blinking miserable and for a little one with a scraped knee they often need a hug.
However, thats the way it is.
In order to be safe they need these measures in place.
You could try and find a different school or continue home educating, if not then you have to make the best of it and remember it's not forever.

Pumpkinnose · 24/08/2020 21:41

It will be fine. You fretting won’t help! We have to do EVERYTHING to keep schools open! And it won’t be ok until there’s a vaccine so i don’t know where you’ve got the idea that it’ll be ok by Jan. it was like all the parents at my Ds’ school who said they’d only be sending their kids back in September. It’s madness! It’s going to be so much worse than it was in June when my DS class had only 7 in it!!

cardibach · 24/08/2020 21:45

The report from Dundee school today 17 teachers with covid and three pupils.So that would indicate it might even be a staff room or something similar that caused the spread ? All within a fortnight ?
@SusieOwl4 I don’t think it indicates a staffroom at all - they’ll only have tested symptomatic people. I’d lay odds that there are way more than 3 children with it, and it’s the children passing it to each other and staff (not blaming them - they can’t help it). Everyone should be tested when there’s a school outbreak. I doubt those 17 staff were ever in the staffroom together anyway - there’s not much time with corona routines to socialise.

CaveMum · 24/08/2020 21:46

It’s worth reading this report into outbreaks of Covid-19 associated with schools.

The basic numbers - in over 1,000,000 children that returned to school in England in June there were just 70 cases of infection in children (compared to 128 in staff) in 30 separate outbreaks. In only 2 of those outbreaks was there any evidence of child to child transmission.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/911267/School_Outbreaks_Analysis.pdf

It’s also reading the interview with Prof Whitty www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-53875410

ineedaholidaynow · 24/08/2020 21:52

Most schools aren't using their staffroom

Lou898 · 24/08/2020 21:53

I work in a primary and had nursery, reception, year 1 and year 6 back in June. All the children adapted really well to the changes, despite parent concerns and we even had parent emails saying how much they’d enjoyed being back. I’d just let her go and don’t make to big a deal of it, she’ll be fine. They will all be shown what to do, when and how. It’s all about trying to keep the staff and children as safe as possible and this may be interpreted slightly differently by each school. You also don’t know whether specific teachers have any issues that means they need to add extra measures. Try not to worry as the initial focus will be the children’s well-being and new routines to help them all settle in. I can almost guarantee she’ll be coming out with a smile on her face after day 1.

GeorginaTheGiant · 24/08/2020 22:10

OP I agree with you and understand how you feel. I would bloody hate sending my five year old off to school with those extreme rules in place. The mental health and wellbeing of a generation of small children is at risk here. I’m genuinely worried about the way little children’s behaviours and thinking will be shaped by this and I fear for the fallout we will see in years to come. It’s not natural or normal to force five year olds to behave in the ways you describe in your OP and I’m just so sad about it all. I don’t think you’re overreacting or being excessively anxious at all.

bonbonours · 24/08/2020 22:22

Honestly, schools can't win. On the one hand they've got parents like a friend of mine who have pre-existing conditions that would mean they would be at high risk of death if they catch Covid, who are being told they must send their child back to school to mix with 30 odd households, though in their personal life they are super careful and have not been near anyone or allowed anyone in their house. These people want to know schools are doing everything possible to protect them, and prevent their child losing a parent at a young age. Similarly there are plenty of teachers who have to return to work, not allowed PPE, and who are equally and understandably fearful for themselves or their own families. Huge numbers of people don't think the measures schools are taking are going to be enough to keep everyone safe.

On the other hand there are people who think it's all ridiculous and kids should be allowed to behave exactly as they did before covid. These are probably the same people who have not been abiding by the guidelines throughout and who have been partly responsible for this situation going on for so long.

As so many others have said, kids adapt to the world and the rules they are presented with. Not being able to hold hands with a friend or share food is unfortunately part of the new normal until such time that they find a cure or vaccine, otherwise we will quickly return to a situation where we have 1000 people dying every day. This is not the school's fault, nor are these rules school rules. They should be your rules in your private life too.

The sacrifices you and your daughter are being asked to make are tiny compared to what some people have already sacrificed and others fear they will sacrifice. Ask yourself if you'd rather a 5 year old loses a parent or your 5 year old can't share a packet of crisps. This is not about you, it's about the bigger picture.

skodadoda · 24/08/2020 22:25

If you want to challenge any of this I suggest you read the government guidelines. If you felt the school is overreacting then you can quote the guidelines as evidence.

ineedaholidaynow · 24/08/2020 22:30

As far as I am aware children have always been discouraged from sharing food at school due to potential allergies