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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son's hair is "cultural appropriation"

278 replies

Jourdain11 · 24/08/2020 13:24

So as not to drop feed: my father's family are from North Africa and he had the sort of tightly-curled hair which some North African people have. I have wavy-curly hair and look European. My husband is English and all three of my children have his fair colouring. However, some trick of genetics has meant that my son (5) has inherited the tightly-curled hair gene. He is very blond and usually his hair is cut quite close to his head, but when it grows out a bit, he has these amazing blonde curls standing around his head.

Anyway, I was a bit taken aback when a friend said the other day that we'd better get his hair cut before he starts Y1 because it might offend people! She said it's cultural appropriation for him, a white boy, to be wearing his hair "in an Afro". I said that seemed pretty harsh given that his hair just grows like that and it's part of his genetic make-up. She responded that people seeing him will just see "a white boy with an Afro" and it would be offensive.

Am I being unreasonable to find this ridiculous? My poor DS is going to offend people wherever he goes just because of the way his hair grows? Or am I being completely out of touch and insensitive?!

OP posts:
MySaladDays75 · 24/08/2020 13:25

She is a twat, ignore her.

Apolloanddaphne · 24/08/2020 13:25

Your friend is being ridiculous. His hair is part of his own cultural heritage. He is not appropriating anything.

CrazyDuchess · 24/08/2020 13:26

Agreed your friend is being a dick!

SmileEachDay · 24/08/2020 13:26

Bahahahahahaaaa.

No.

Your friend is being ridiculous and your son’s hair sounds lovely.

cameocat · 24/08/2020 13:27

I cannot believe I have just read that. Possibly the most ridiculous thing I have read on here. YANBU

TeaAndHobnob · 24/08/2020 13:27

How on earth is his natural hair cultural appropriation? I think your friend is trying to come off woke and totally missed the point. Ignore!

DillonPanthersTexas · 24/08/2020 13:27

I think anyone hitching their wagon to the American University woke culture bollocks and using it to criticise a five year old boy has earned the right to be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

RedRumTheHorse · 24/08/2020 13:27

Tell her to foxtrot oscar for talking shit.

I knew plenty of people - mainly men who are now bald/receding hair line - with afros who aren't black. This is because their hair naturally grows like this.

TwizzledTurkey · 24/08/2020 13:28

I would tell her to fuck off Wine

mbosnz · 24/08/2020 13:28

Well then, people will get educated not to make snap judgments based solely on skin colour as to what a person's cultural heritage is, won't they?

His hair is part of his genetic and cultural heritage, and no-one, absolutely NO-ONE has the right to question his use of it.

Thingsdogetbetter · 24/08/2020 13:29

Your friend is an idiot! Have they just become 'woke' by any chance?? They have decided they, personally, are the arbitors of cultural appropriation and gone zealot. I think laughing is the best response.

Calabasa · 24/08/2020 13:29

ignore her OP.. she is clearly a twat!

Let your sons hair grow and fuck her.

seayork2020 · 24/08/2020 13:29

I think you need a new friend

Jourdain11 · 24/08/2020 13:30

Okay, thank you! I was genuinely shocked when she said this ... I almost thought she was joking! She wasn't...

OP posts:
WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 24/08/2020 13:30

Tell your friend to fuck the fuck off.

netflixismysidehustle · 24/08/2020 13:30

She's an idiot.

RedRumTheHorse · 24/08/2020 13:31

The only reason to cut his hair is because he wants it done. Though this may be because he's fed up of people asking him his ethnic background due to having a blond afro. I worked with a red-haired guy who cut his hair off for this reason.

stairway · 24/08/2020 13:31

Don’t cut his hair! My son is half North African too with the most gorgeous curls. anyone with a problem is being an idiot.

MNX42 · 24/08/2020 13:31

Your friend is a woke moron. Ditch her and make better friends.

steff13 · 24/08/2020 13:31

This has really tickled me. How on earth could the way his hair naturally grows be considered cultural appropriation?!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 24/08/2020 13:31

Your friend is a fucking moron. Your DS hair naturally grows like that. Honestly is one of my friends said that to me I would tell them not to be a fucking twat!

RB68 · 24/08/2020 13:32

just tell her its his african heritage actually and then ignore

spiderlight · 24/08/2020 13:32

What?? It's just his hair. Your friend is being absurd.

Ohthiscantbeit · 24/08/2020 13:33

No it’s not cultural appropriation, it’s apart of his genetics. Nobody cares about what his hair looks like. It’s sounds lovely. Bigger the better I say xxx let him rock those curls with pride. It sounds like your friend doesn’t know what she’s talking about tbh

ClementineWoolysocks · 24/08/2020 13:33

Your friend is moron and really not much of a friend if she thinks that way.

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