Son's hair is "cultural appropriation"

[Jourdain11]

So as not to drop feed: my father's family are from North Africa and he had the sort of tightly-curled hair which some North African people have. I have wavy-curly hair and look European. My husband is English and all three of my children have his fair colouring. However, some trick of genetics has meant that my son (5) has inherited the tightly-curled hair gene. He is very blond and usually his hair is cut quite close to his head, but when it grows out a bit, he has these amazing blonde curls standing around his head.

Anyway, I was a bit taken aback when a friend said the other day that we'd better get his hair cut before he starts Y1 because it might offend people! She said it's cultural appropriation for him, a white boy, to be wearing his hair "in an Afro". I said that seemed pretty harsh given that his hair just grows like that and it's part of his genetic make-up. She responded that people seeing him will just see "a white boy with an Afro" and it would be offensive.

Am I being unreasonable to find this ridiculous? My poor DS is going to offend people wherever he goes just because of the way his hair grows? Or am I being completely out of touch and insensitive?!

'Friend' is being an ignorant twunt. If your son was deliberating changing his hair natural hair to represent a Afro style that would cultural appropriation. He is not doing anything other than wearing his own natural hair as determined by his genetics!

Wow.

I must admit that I have worried that I will be accused of cultural appropriation in the past, as I too hail from the Middle East (half) and have very frizz-prone hair that can very easily become an afro. My thinking went as far as "Well if I am accused of it then I will say such and such to explain, without being cross". That's it

So while sort of understanding how she got to the thought, she does sound painfully woke!

WTAF? Your friend is bloody ridiculous!

Not read all the comments, but how on earth can he be culturally appropriating with his hair if it is his natural hair?!
Surely anyone assuming is the one in the wrong - what is he supposed to do, hide his heritage, tone down his hair in fear of being judged?
If anyone did ask, surely a perfect time to educate blow their minds by telling them it's his natural hair type and heritage and isn't appropriating anything, so STFU
I'm saying this as a white person so could be talking out of my bum but that's how I see it anyway lol

"The school does require neat hair"

What is neat though?

I would say not falling over face.

So the usual-long hair tied back.

The school would be on a sticky wicket if they started saying that your son's hair had to be kept at a certain (short) length ro be considered neat.

I’m struggling to imagine how hair could be so distinctively Irish Catholic to anyone

Years ago the Scots Protestant and fervent Orangeman dad of a boyfriend told me I didn't look like a Catholic.

Apparently Catholics have sleekit eyes.

What a twat.

In truth, though, even if he was entirely white and British, if his hair grew like that then I don't see how it's "appropriation".

(Apologies if I muddied the waters by mentioning the North African thing, it was basically just to aid my description of his hair. It is exactly like my father's hair, except blond!)

Tell the silly bitch that his hair is his ethnic heritage from his family in Africa.

My guess is that she hasn't spotted your own heritage.

@Jourdain11

In truth, though, even if he was entirely white and British, if his hair grew like that then I don't see how it's "appropriation".

(Apologies if I muddied the waters by mentioning the North African thing, it was basically just to aid my description of his hair. It is exactly like my father's hair, except blond!)

It's not. Not at all. She seems to be the type that's pathologically offended. But it is offensive to say that somebody's natural hair growth is wrong in any way. Your friend was offensive.

In this day and age you'd think that people would understand that many people of all skin colours are mixed race. I know plenty of parents whose children are a different skin colour/tone than one of them. In one case I know a child that is much darker than the dark skinned parent. Genetics is a mixed bag.

I think this sort of comment is often down to a sort of ingrained racism the person refuses to recognise.

This person views afro hair as inherently 'messy' and unsuitable. They don't want to be a racist, they have worked against concious racist views, yet the ingrained racism tells them still that the hair is untidy, not smart.

As someone who fights against injustices, their concious mind is clear: afro hair on black people is natural and beautiful. But their unconscious mind and unconcious bias still says: afro hair is messy and not ok.

This ends up as: afro hair on black and darker mixed race people is natural and beautiful (and to be heavily admired and touched in an often unwanted fashion), afro hair on people they percieve as white (even when the hair comes from their racial heritage) is messy, untidy and not ok.

Because the unconcious racism is stamped down, this manifests in the same hair being beautiful on one child, but cultural appropriation on another. Even if they share the same cultural heritage. Because deep down, they still see afro hair as a problem; it's just that their concious mind is fighting against this.

Not in every case obviously, but most of the sjw types I know, if you go back far enough, were also the holders of some fairly unpleasant views around women, or race, or disabilities, or ... I am genuinely convinced that much of their vehemence is to convince themselves, rather than others.

I don't think this person actually understands what cultural appropriation means.

@Herja

I think this sort of comment is often down to a sort of ingrained racism the person refuses to recognise.

This person views afro hair as inherently 'messy' and unsuitable. They don't want to be a racist, they have worked against concious racist views, yet the ingrained racism tells them still that the hair is untidy, not smart.

As someone who fights against injustices, their concious mind is clear: afro hair on black people is natural and beautiful. But their unconscious mind and unconcious bias still says: afro hair is messy and not ok.

This ends up as: afro hair on black and darker mixed race people is natural and beautiful (and to be heavily admired and touched in an often unwanted fashion), afro hair on people they percieve as white (even when the hair comes from their racial heritage) is messy, untidy and not ok.

Because the unconcious racism is stamped down, this manifests in the same hair being beautiful on one child, but cultural appropriation on another. Even if they share the same cultural heritage. Because deep down, they still see afro hair as a problem; it's just that their concious mind is fighting against this.

Not in every case obviously, but most of the sjw types I know, if you go back far enough, were also the holders of some fairly unpleasant views around women, or race, or disabilities, or ... I am genuinely convinced that much of their vehemence is to convince themselves, rather than others.

I agree, and yes your friend sounds like a racist

My DH has tight dark curls that grow into an “Afro” style if he grows them out. He’s the only person in his family who has them. As a PP said, genetics is a mixed bag! That’s who he is, nothing to do with cultural appropriation.

Your friend (and others like her) are the reason this country is declining. You can’t be “offended” at someone’s natural hair unless your DS somehow manages to train it to naturally grow to form the word “TWAT”!

People are professionally “offended” at everything these days. It’s a weakness of character. Seeking out offence as if it’s the worst crime in the world.

Your friend is wrong, but it's possible she thinks people might really say that.

And who knows, some people are crazy and they might.

She is an idiot, but the discussion will come up again unfortunately.
Due to some genetic quirks, a friend’s daughter has very dark
skin and black, tightly curled hair - basically afro hair. She is genetically white european (it must be a long forgotten ancestors DNA coming through). She has her hair in little braids as she likes it, and it suits her hair, but she does get some grief for it... Weirdly enough people only get upset once they realise she isn’t adopted.

Your friend is very hard of thinking and/or ignorant. I'd ignore her. He's a five-year-old boy. It's his natural hair.

Even if he was a teenager who purposely permed his hair into an afro just because he thought it suited his face, it wouldn't be any of her business.

Offensive for looking the way he's meant to look? She doesn't sound like a friend!!

Your sons natural hair can’t possibly be cultural appropriation! He/you aren’t appropriating anything, he can’t control what grows out of his head!

Your friend is being too woke for actual common sense.

She is just ignorant.

Pff, what stupidity.

Maybe try looking surprised and say, "Wow, that's kind of racist..."

That is ridiculous!

White people can have curly hair though!
Lots of Irish, Italian, and Spanish people have big ringletty hair.

My hair looks like this ladies, If I wear it shorter its even curlier.

What a stupid thing to say. Ignore, I for one think his hair sounds amazing! Nothing to be ashamed of.