After being ‘told off’ in front of a group to leave group after

[31133004Taff]

Group activity. I OK’d it with assistant group lead to basically go to the loo. I inadvertently caused a 5 minute delay in the group activity. It’s a social group. When I returned, I was told off by the group lead in front of the whole group.

When told off, I agreed not to do this again. I felt awful.

I’d really like the activity and if I left there is no alternative locally.

How do I get past the humiliation of being told off. WWYD?

Perhaps this group lead is too hard core for me? Perhaps the lead was acting in response to complaints from the group?

If you asked them what's their problem? Maybe they should have said that they'll wait for you so you knew to be quick

Why didn’t you say “I played it with assistant”

Sorry for typo “okayed”

Was it a full on telling off? That seems very harsh, adults need to go to the toilet and shouldn’t be like children for it. How detrimental was the 5 minute delay to the activity?

Any group that expected me to ask permission to go to the loo as an adult would have me leaving.

That before I then got told off for using the loo

I get it's tough because you like activity and it's the only local group. But there must be something else you can do where the need to pee isn't a huge deal?

How rude. You said where you were going, no need for the telling off, you aren't a wayward child. Pity you appologized.
If she says anything at the next meet up, tell her never to speak to you like that again, what did she expect you to do. Wet yourself?
She's power tripping.

Just tell group leader that ;
1 the assistant okd it.
2 that you really needed to go to the loo. What does she expect in future? That you wet yourself?

She needs to apologise.

Sounds like a very disorganised group, where the right hand (group lead) doesn't know what the left hand (assistant) is doing.
Red flag, and the telling off is another red flag.
You deserve better.

What kind of activity is it?
As an adult I don't respond well to 'being told off', it's patronising and humiliating and I'm afraid a go feck yourself might have slipped out of my mouth, I certainly wouldn't have apologised.
The leader is definitely on a power trip.

They told you off? I'd have been out of there. As an adult, I wouldn't put up with being told off in front of the group like that. Fuck that

What kind of activity do you do where you get told off??? I can't imagine I would have been able not to bollock them back, I'd have got the hump in school for bring told off for needing the toilet!

I am struggling to picture this group where you need permission to go to the loo, nobody sees you get permission, but your five minute absence causes a delay to the activity. What is it??

What is it like facist training camp? Shame you didn't point out at the time that you had okayed with the assistant. I would not be volunterily going somewhere that I might be told off!

Why didn’t they just carry on without you?

Was it a telling off or did you just perceive it to be?

Is it the North Korean military OP?

Was it an organised circle jerk?

I don't blame you the group leader was completely OTT unless it was a life or death situation which I'm sure it wasn't.
Go back with your head held high she was unreasonable I bet the rest of the group think she is nuts.
She sounds like a bully.

Ego states. The leader communicated from their Parent ego stage, and you responded from your Child. Not unreasonable really - being reprimanded in front of others, toilet-related, being shamed etc.

( Sorry for typo “okayed” Played is really not a typo of okayed! This is a real bugbear of mine).

Why do you need permission to go to the loo? You are an adult. Everyone needs to go to the toilet at some point and for many, there are medical reasons why they can't wait. You do not have to apologise, explain or justify yourself for going to the toilet when you need it.

If you choose to go back, I'd say something to the group leader before the class starts along the lines of "I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but I was very embarrassed last week when you made a big song and dance about me going to the toilet. Can you understand why that might be embarrassing for me? Can you appreciate that as an adult I don't expect to be toilet shamed during a fun activity? There will be many times in the future when I will need to go again. If that's going to be a big deal, please tell me now as I won't be able to continue with the class. When I've got to go, I've got to go, and I really don't want to be singled out in a room full of adults and treated like a naughty 5 year old because of it."

Unless it was a group training to competitively hold in their piss I would have told them to fuck the fuck off and walked out.

Could you be overthinking it OP?

If it was just a quick please don't do it again / go to the loo before the start time it will be forgotten by next time so please do go back with head held high.

If a massive rant either ignore safe in the knowledge that everyone will be on your side or ask for a word on private to say you asked first and tell them how you feel.

Does Hitler lead the group?

Good grief, what kind of group is this? An adult playgroup?

Sorry for typo “okayed” Played is really not a typo of okayed! This is a real bugbear of mine).

WTF of course it is, look where the keys are on the keyboard and what autocorrect may have done.

OP what activity was it? Yanbu