After being ‘told off’ in front of a group to leave group after

[31133004Taff]

Group activity. I OK’d it with assistant group lead to basically go to the loo. I inadvertently caused a 5 minute delay in the group activity. It’s a social group. When I returned, I was told off by the group lead in front of the whole group.

When told off, I agreed not to do this again. I felt awful.

I’d really like the activity and if I left there is no alternative locally.

How do I get past the humiliation of being told off. WWYD?

Perhaps this group lead is too hard core for me? Perhaps the lead was acting in response to complaints from the group?

Was it murder in the dark? Were you the corpse?

Horse riding yes?

WTAF

TBF a walk with 40 people sounds like my idea of hell

Mine too.
Although I would be interested in the attempted coup to overthrow the mean leader. I'd be sniffing round to try and find out who they are and throw my lot in with them. Perhaps they also attempted to wee as needed without prior consent.
You could form a splinter group where everyone can wee without public humiliation that would be a great slogan for t-shirts

It was soooooooo worth the telling off. I may have prevented a wetting on the walk but I had to start this thread to finish the job off.

I do have to correct a couple of things. I was not late and I have never been late. I didn’t respond at the time because I was so embarrassed being spoken to like that in front of the group. I’m pretty shy and hate being singled out. However I am now rehearsing a stock answer for when this happens next time. People seem to smoke out the shy one to target in these situations. Grrr.

Sometimes it matters and it makes you late if you are hiking to get to a lunch stop, sunset view point, back to the car park before closing time

But it is walking. You can just walk a bit faster if you are running late, surely?

Got some of my trail-running PBs when we had one train an hour to catch home again, or the pub stopped serving lunch at 2

@QueenieMum

This is a great thread!! OP you gave my full support to give the leader what for next time the opportunity arises. Mutiny in the ranks and all that. Very rude of the group leader & totally uncalled for, group politics or not.

This thread has dredged up a memory of a comedy I'd forgotten about, The Great Outdoors. Anyone else remember it? This would definitely have made the script

Ooh yes, I loved that!

@DanielRicciardosSmile It was good wasn't it?! Maybe we should petition for repeats 😁

I think if you enjoy the activity, stick with it. BUT...don't take any s**t from them. Talk to the leader privately and tell them that you expect not to be talked down to like that again as you are not a child and you did explain what you were doing. If they have an issue with you in future, they should deal with you directly and in private.

Urgh ridiculous.

My husband is a pain for needing to pee at inconvenient times. I swear you can’t take him anywhere but he’s off looking for a bathroom like a child, and drives me bonkers.

However, he’s of course entitled to ownership over his own bladder and I recognise that my irritation is entirely my own issue. I just inwardly roll my eyes and say nothing.

Eek, I needed to go to the loo during a pirates class once. Was having a very heavy period and we had been up in a bridge position for quite some time so had to deal with a flooding incident and took 5 mins or so. I was expecting them to carry on without me while I excused myself, but no... they were all waiting for me as I tried to sneak back in and the instructor drew attention to the amount of time I'd been (just in a jokey way - not telling off), I was mortified!

Pirates class sounds fun though

PILATES!!! Not pirates!!!!

Did they give you an ‘arrrrrd time? 🏴‍☠️

Aye, had to do the plank!

This thread just keeps on giving!!!

I'm really sorry this happened to you. It sounds so humiliating. To be honest the group leader sounds like a bit if a cow. But I understand if it's the only group in your area you don't want to lose the social connection. Have you thought about sending her a message to say how you felt when she criticised you in front of the group and how much you like the group but now feel like you should leave it? It sounds like confrontation is a challenge to you (I understand that) but a message direct to her may get the conversation started so that you feel safe to return. Good luck with it, I hope you get a resolution - if not an apology. I found this online, it may help - www.success.com/11-ways-to-handle-confrontation/

@Moranne

WTF of course it is, look where the keys are on the keyboard and what autocorrect may have done.

Typo does not mean what you appear to think it means. "Played" may be an autocorrect or an error on your part if you were distracted, but neither is a typo.

@Moranne, which ego state are you operating from here?

This thread is heaven.

I want to join a pirates class (although not one where they all stop and wait while I go to the loo)!

Was it a class where you learned to Pirate, or did you already have piratical knowledge that you were just assimilating?

Brain working overtime on a design for a pee-as-you-go she wee with a drain attached. Maybe waterproof knickers with drain would be more comfortable.

I don't think I've ever been in a group activity that wasn't at least 5 min late. Unless it's a race or something. Even so...

If you decide to stay, I'd start looking at the watch every single time and signal the leader. Then at 1 second past, I'd ask if we were starting or not.