After being ‘told off’ in front of a group to leave group after

[31133004Taff]

Group activity. I OK’d it with assistant group lead to basically go to the loo. I inadvertently caused a 5 minute delay in the group activity. It’s a social group. When I returned, I was told off by the group lead in front of the whole group.

When told off, I agreed not to do this again. I felt awful.

I’d really like the activity and if I left there is no alternative locally.

How do I get past the humiliation of being told off. WWYD?

Perhaps this group lead is too hard core for me? Perhaps the lead was acting in response to complaints from the group?

Since it obviously winds him up, I would be stopping for a wee every time we passed a toilet from now on, whether I needed to go or not. The closer together and more unbelievable it is that you could possibly need to go again, the better.

@Wavescrashingonthebeach I know, I was too polite to mention it .

As you can imagine, I do not lead any walking groups

I was hoping it was Fight Club or wrestling or at least an Ironman...

Waves, you are both right:

Flash a-ah
Saviour of the Universe
Flash a-ah
He'll save every one of us

Stay in the group and stop for a wee behind literally every bush, rock or stile next time. Preferably with a high-pitched giggle and a carrying exclamation of ‘Whoops! Got to use the LITTLE GIRLS’ ROOM again! Luckily it’s only a number one!’

This thread simply could not be better. It has everything.

Walking omg! The leader has issues.

Start your own walking group.

WTF have I just read?!

@RantyAnty

Walking omg! The leader has issues.

Start your own walking group.

The leaky hikers, perhaps?

She wee and a bush of ridge for walkers of waterproof boots

Walking! I'm seriously disappointed - i thought it was AmDram at the very least, having pictured the Group Leader as a frustrated Otto Preminger-type director in riding boots, jodhpurs, monocle and megaphone.

Flipping heck. What if you wanted to stop to take a photo and then catch the rest of the group up?? Did you have to all walk at the same pace too?? Really sorry there’s not another group nearby...maybe start one...??

Side note: moranne Not sure what your bugbear is but typo is an abbreviation for a typographical error, ie a mistake in written/printed text - the definition very much includes an autocorrect, a mistake made while typing, a mistake at the printers, or whatever - it’s just an error in the written text.

Oh god ive just nearly laughed until i choked! Walking Wees and Flash Gordon!

God i love how surreal it gets on here

Why dont you just wee while you walk

all the while furiously autocorrecting typos on MN and singing Flash aaaaah!

Now THAT would really raise some eyebrows

Form a splinter group there will bound to be some others wanting to leave the tyrannical leader. And they will be the fun ones!!

And they will be the fun ones!!

Or atleast the incontinent ones .

It wasn’t a meet-up group (on Facebook too) was it? I went on a walk in February and the group leader told the whole group he was going to have to cut a whole section off the walk because I was walking too slowly.
It was posted as being for beginners (I checked again afterwards) and I had told him I was not a fast walker.
Made me feel very sad as it was my first and only attempt to do something social in many many years :(
Wanker
And I didn’t even wee!

Maybe send an email to quit suggesting they supply Pampers as an intro gift to new members..

To be fair, as a walk leader, it does get very annoying. There is always somebody that holds the whole group up. 20 people can meet somewhere on time, check in and be ready to set off at the advertised time - when someone is bound to pipe up, 'hang on, I need the loo.' A lot of my walking groups would have simply have left you behind I'm afraid 🤷🏻‍♀️

As an adult you have the right to go to the loo without being told off. Unfortunately everyone else who is on time with no delays has the right to take off on time and leave you behind too.

Sometimes it matters and it makes you late if you are hiking to get to a lunch stop, sunset view point, back to the car park before closing time... Most other times it's just rude to not be ready on time and keep everyone waiting.

Next time be ready to actually start the walk at the advertised time. I usually aim to arrive 10 minutes early to pay for parking and use the loo. Though actually I'm surprised you managed to find an open public toilet at the moment.

So no, you weren't being unreasonable to ask to go to the toilet, but you were being unreasonable to hold the rest of the group up past the start time due to your disorganisation.

And I don’t even think it was me - there were 42 walkers walking single file through knee deep mud - so hardly zooming along
But it seemed that a small group were regulars and set the pace regardless of the level advertised.
Not encouraging for those On our own who want to follow the advice to Get out join groups and meet people and do something healthy
I repeat
Wanker!

@RamblingFar Sounds like you run your walks like a military training school and see yourself as a frustrated sergeant, rather than a fun activity. So if a new member needed the loo unexpectedly (which could for any reason, medical problem, heavy period etc etc) your group would just walk off?Ridiculous and rude.

@Mythologies How rude - do try another group? What an arrse the "leader" sounds for what was advertised as a beginners walk, at least you know now that particular group was only for "regulars"! Walking in a good group can be great for meeting people though and being social, and even it isn't on any occasion you have got the exercise and fresh air.

I think that some of these walking groups must be like that - chummy buddies who all think the same way - nothing wrong with that - but make it clear that you are like that and don’t take newcomers money and time before they understand and spoil days of their lives they will not get back

[quote Rosehip10]@RamblingFar Sounds like you run your walks like a military training school and see yourself as a frustrated sergeant, rather than a fun activity. So if a new member needed the loo unexpectedly (which could for any reason, medical problem, heavy period etc etc) your group would just walk off?Ridiculous and rude.[/quote]
No, if a new member (or any member) needed the toilet at most points on the walk we would be happy to wait for them. This group did wait for the OP.

However if they did it right at the advertised start time and keep everyone waiting, or straight after a significant break (eg, just after a 45 minute lunch break) then I'm afraid it is extremely rude and someone would draw the new member aside and speak to them. The group I own would not walk off and leave them. However I know at least two other groups that would. There can be 40+ people on a walk (pre-covid times). It is not fair to make everyone wait at the start because you haven't organised yourself to go before the start time. You wouldn't expect a gym class to wait for you, or a bus or train, so why would you expect to hold up a walking group?

God this is reminding me off when i got a coach to a festival in Europe and the 2 Georgie coach drivers who were both called Alan would never let anyone off for a wee. It was horrific. 7 countries we had to pass and the chemical toilet was full before we left England.
So people started to revolt and when one Alan was filling up at the services some lad gets off and the other Alan is chasing him round going get back on the fookin motor in the strongest Geordie accent ever.
And everyone else is just hanging out the coach windows going "ALAN! ALAN! ALAN" (festival chant...)
Still tickles me. But god that coach stunk.