to be concerned about the increasing sensitivity of our culture?

[CottonEyeJo]

I'm in a FB group for a moderately niche hobby. It's UK based, has about 5k members. The group is specifically about this hobby (a type of craft).

More and more people are posting "Off Topic" (OT) posts, which is pretty frustrating in its own right as if I wanted to read about people's washing machines, husbands, cat sick etc etc then I'd...well, I'd come on to AIBU!

But what's becoming really concerning, is the overuse of the term "Trigger Warning" (TW).

There is now a rule in the group, that if someone wishes to post about a "TW topic" they should post the title, and then put the rest in the comments - so that anyone who could be potentially "triggered" by the content, can safely avoid it.

Firstly - this seems like overkill to me, there's several topics that I avoid because I find them "triggering" upsetting or just plain irritating for various reasons, they reveal themselves in the first sentence or so of a post, so I just close and move on. A daily occurance on Mumsnet really

But more concerningly - it seems that EVERY topic is becoming a "trigger warning".

OT + TW - Make Up. I'll post in the comments

OT + TW - my Dog. I'll post in the comments

etc etc

Usually I'd laugh it off, but people are taking it so seriously - there was a post the other week about wedding dresses (also not related to the hobby) and someone went off on one in the comments about how they had just gone through a divorce, and the topic "triggered" them - AND THE POST WAS REMOVED!

We had one woman get really irate and flouncy because someone was talking about makeup - and the flouncer was vegan and very anti-make up, so reading a post about makeup triggered her anxiety and that was apparently the poor poster's fault - again, admin sided on the flouncer and the post was disabled.

It's just become a bit bonkers - the FB page has become more of a mental health forum (lots and lots and lots of posts about people's depression and anxiety etc etc) which may explain why it's a particularly sensitive space, but I'm seeing it elsewhere as well.

I personally feel that - by and large - a person's mental health (in regards to being "triggered" at least) should be, first and foremost, their own responsibility - and that the onus is on them to avoid topics should they find them unbearable, not for the rest of the population to moderate their language so that every possible trigger is omitted.

I'd also add that if just seeing a line about a stranger's dog dying, or wedding announcement or pregnancy is enough to set someone off in a mental health spiral - siginificant medical intervention should be in place and that person should be taking steps to avoid social media.

I don't think it's a sensitivity itself. It's a power trip. One can go and shut down any discussion about anything. A power trip.

Yanbu. I hate the overuse of the word 'triggered' . I think it's the new 'literally' .

I would go the positive suggestion route and suggest a sub group be created such as "current group name OT support" people on FB seem to love a really niche group. Then you can avoid it (And helpfully direct people to it when they disrupt the original group).

I would feel the same way as you. It feels like regression from adulthood.

But it's up to the majority if they want it to go like that. So on balance I think yabu.

It does sound like sticking to the topic is the best all round solution.

But yeah. Tw posts have taken a bit of showing off about your intense sensitivuty / chance to disrupt someone else's 15 seconds of social media attention for your own.

Honestly? Leave the group and find a different one, you'll be happier for it.

I think it's good that we're becoming more aware of hurting other people. I dont believe we have the moral right to talk or joke about anything we want and people have to be quiet about being upset. Its driving kindness towards others which is never a bad thing.

Yes some people will take advantage of others kindness and use their sulking for power, people have always done that, if you notice one person doing it too often then report them.

It's gone too far. I didn't mind when it was just potentially distressing stuff that a genuinely traumatised person might want to avoid. Honestly I lose respect for people who claim to be triggered by a mere difference in opinion, very babyish.

I’m triggered by your post. I was once in the middle of crocheting, got distracted by a post on a Facebook group and accidentally stabbed myself through my thigh.
You should think more carefully before you post op

@Nottherealslimshady

I think it's good that we're becoming more aware of hurting other people. I dont believe we have the moral right to talk or joke about anything we want and people have to be quiet about being upset. Its driving kindness towards others which is never a bad thing.

Yes some people will take advantage of others kindness and use their sulking for power, people have always done that, if you notice one person doing it too often then report them.

See I agree with the first point here and think being considerate and aware is important. But, as with everything, it is being taken to far if someone can’t mention something entirely innocuous with giving it a trigger warning. There is such a thing as over sensitivity and there is also definitely such a thing as people use “trigger warning” and mental health conditions to be controlling and manipulative.

First rule of anxiety treatment, avoidance increases anxiety.

I think we seem to have lost our common sense and our resilience. I wonder if the two are connected.

Also completely agree with SchrodingersImmigrant.

I was in a group where there was a bunfight because someone neglected to add a TW on a topic about cameras - as in, which camera should I buy? I left.

@D4rwin

I would go the positive suggestion route and suggest a sub group be created such as "current group name OT support" people on FB seem to love a really niche group. Then you can avoid it (And helpfully direct people to it when they disrupt the original group).

They've already done that. They have about 20 off shoot groups - but I guess there isn't a big enough audience.

I totally agree. If these people are truly upset by these things, sorry, but they need to toughen up. The world is harsh and you're never going to be able to avoid everything that upsets you. The best thing is to be able to deal with the things that upset you.

I suffered from pretty bad PTSD, depressiom, anxiety and other stuff for a long time so I do understand that it is hard. But I always saw that as my issue to sort out, not for others to need to police themselves constantly. You can remove yourself from conversations or talk to the person if they are regularly talking about something that upsets you - eg my SIL has a habit of mentioning child abuse stories which I find hard to deal with - but going around insisting others pander to you about every little thing? That's not how the world works.

These people are on a power trip. I guarantee they don't do this shit at work or whatever, just on the internet where they can meet other people like them who will fall over themselves apologizing for mentioning innocuous shit.

@Nottherealslimshady

I think it's good that we're becoming more aware of hurting other people. I dont believe we have the moral right to talk or joke about anything we want and people have to be quiet about being upset. Its driving kindness towards others which is never a bad thing.

Yes some people will take advantage of others kindness and use their sulking for power, people have always done that, if you notice one person doing it too often then report them.

The thing is that there is being kind and then there is being made a mug.

I don't think people are kinder or more sensitive at all - quite the opposite in fact. I actually think theres more of a platform for selfish people to set up in advance how they intend to control a narrative and then to excuse their bad behaviour.

I agree with your sentiment in part OP

Most of us have gone through difficulties and setbacks in life, but overwhelmingly it's things that everyone will encounter in the course of their lives. Redundancy, relationships ending, bereavements, missing out on an exam grade, a promotion, failing a test etc etc

Years back when I first encountered the concept of 'triggering', it was used to refer to a situation where a very specific scenario, description of events, picture, use of particular language, scent, or such, would 'trigger' someone with a psychiatric illness into an episode, or cause someone with PTSD like illnesses to experience a 'flashback'.

Some of the ways it's used now just beggar belief. As I said, most people experience the things I listed at the top of this post. While they are undoubtedly difficult, they're part and parcel of life, dealing with them and the emotions they bring about are part and parcel of life. Claiming you're 'triggered' because your beloved dog died six months ago, you're struggling to get that into perspective, and someone just happened to post a picture of their new puppy without a 'TRIGGER WARNING' is nonsensical self-indulgent crap, and a complete and utter slap in the face to the people who originally coined the term to describe what they suffer.

I do think that sensitivity is sometimes lacking on a lot of places on the internet, but there's no doubt that in the time that I've been aware of it, the term itself and the whole concept has been hijacked and commandeered and squashed into scenario that it was never intended to describe.

I also strongly believe taht many people online lie about the MH issues.
Which is super shitty thing to do

The problem is that if 'trigger warning' is overused people will start ignoring it, and then when something genuinely sensitive is posted, they might end up reading it because they'll assume the 'trigger warning' is meaningless.

It's not uncommon to be triggered by random, not immediately obvious things - it happens to me - but I don't expect to see trigger warnings on everything.

The best thing forum users can do is use sensible titles - e.g. on Mumsnet, not just 'AIBU about this?' but 'AIBU about my divorce' so that people know what they're clicking in to read.

I definitely think we're becoming a "snowflake" generation and people seem to be over sensitive and "offended" at everything. It's quite sad really, i would definitely leave the group OP, they seem to be too OTT with the snowflake thing

"I also strongly believe taht many people online lie about the MH issues.
Which is super shitty thing to do"

They absolutely do. You just have to look at tumblr in its heyday. All the people with autism and ADHD and depression and PTSD and then they would say they were self-diagnosed...I know it's hard to get a diagnosis sometimes but I felt like so many of these people felt like it was a badge of honour to be fucked up, instead of something that destroys your life.

I also strongly believe taht many people online lie about the MH issues.
Which is super shitty thing to do

I have to admit, I find the sheer preponderance of mumsnetters who claim to have ASD/SEN children, Narc husbands and former partners, and various psychiatric conditions themselves, ASD parents/siblings/grandparents all a bit

The impression you'd get just going by mumsnet is that 95% of ALL children are ASD/SEN, and that 95% of ALL men are abusive narcissists

I avoid the group best I can, but I own a business in the niche so it's handy to keep an eye on trends and to post the odd giveaway or sale.
But it isn't just this group, it seems to be quite common everywhere now

It is everywhere, even here on MN.