to be concerned about the increasing sensitivity of our culture?

[CottonEyeJo]

I'm in a FB group for a moderately niche hobby. It's UK based, has about 5k members. The group is specifically about this hobby (a type of craft).

More and more people are posting "Off Topic" (OT) posts, which is pretty frustrating in its own right as if I wanted to read about people's washing machines, husbands, cat sick etc etc then I'd...well, I'd come on to AIBU!

But what's becoming really concerning, is the overuse of the term "Trigger Warning" (TW).

There is now a rule in the group, that if someone wishes to post about a "TW topic" they should post the title, and then put the rest in the comments - so that anyone who could be potentially "triggered" by the content, can safely avoid it.

Firstly - this seems like overkill to me, there's several topics that I avoid because I find them "triggering" upsetting or just plain irritating for various reasons, they reveal themselves in the first sentence or so of a post, so I just close and move on. A daily occurance on Mumsnet really

But more concerningly - it seems that EVERY topic is becoming a "trigger warning".

OT + TW - Make Up. I'll post in the comments

OT + TW - my Dog. I'll post in the comments

etc etc

Usually I'd laugh it off, but people are taking it so seriously - there was a post the other week about wedding dresses (also not related to the hobby) and someone went off on one in the comments about how they had just gone through a divorce, and the topic "triggered" them - AND THE POST WAS REMOVED!

We had one woman get really irate and flouncy because someone was talking about makeup - and the flouncer was vegan and very anti-make up, so reading a post about makeup triggered her anxiety and that was apparently the poor poster's fault - again, admin sided on the flouncer and the post was disabled.

It's just become a bit bonkers - the FB page has become more of a mental health forum (lots and lots and lots of posts about people's depression and anxiety etc etc) which may explain why it's a particularly sensitive space, but I'm seeing it elsewhere as well.

I personally feel that - by and large - a person's mental health (in regards to being "triggered" at least) should be, first and foremost, their own responsibility - and that the onus is on them to avoid topics should they find them unbearable, not for the rest of the population to moderate their language so that every possible trigger is omitted.

I'd also add that if just seeing a line about a stranger's dog dying, or wedding announcement or pregnancy is enough to set someone off in a mental health spiral - siginificant medical intervention should be in place and that person should be taking steps to avoid social media.

People do this on Tumblr a lot and it pisses me off. I can understand warning for things like rape but a lot of triggers are so specific they’re impossible to warn for. And hakf the time it’s a power trip.

Yep, the great british public has officially become jam packed with bloody snowflakes who expect everyone else to avoid talking about almost anything because it offends their delicate sensibilities and 'triggers' something !

Funny you say British public... I don't see the same where I am from. The difference in attitudes is really quite interesting.

Just a question: those of us who are genuinely mentally ill, are we bloody snowflakes who need to stop being so wet too?

I hate it when people tell me I’m triggered when I’m just annoyed. I have triggers and when I do get triggered I shut down mentally and feel physically sick. Sometimes I hallucinate or have flashbacks. It’s not just being annoyed. I do have coping strategies to deal with it though.

@updownroundandround

Yep, the great british public has officially become jam packed with bloody snowflakes who expect everyone else to avoid talking about almost anything because it offends their delicate sensibilities and 'triggers' something !

No more 'stiff upper lip' and making the best of things for us british.........

Just bloody snowflakes who expect everyone to treat them with kid gloves and tip toe round their (often overly exaggerated or even imaginary) bloody ''issues'' and ''anxieties''...........

Makes my blood boil.

WTAF would happen to these ''sensitive souls'' if we went to war ?? Or aliens invade?? or bloody terrorists target us again ??

I fully get that some people have actually been to Hell through actual RL issues e.g DV, rape, PTSD etc, and these people deserve understanding and support.

But the nutters who say they've been ''violated'' because they saw me buy make-up and steaks ? Get real.

The Forces have restrictions when it comes to people with MH problems. Personally I wouldn’t trust myself with a gun.

The wool craft thing is odd.

I took a break for a couple of decades and it changed from finding woolshops little havens of a old school camaraderie to feeling like I was an unwelcome interloper. Even though funnily enough I was a fan of all the hand dyed / Jacob sheep wool thing that was the way it was moving.

Reading about how it's gone online explained it a bit. And I don't even wear a MAGA hat!

Craft groups do seem to be notoriously wanky.

Not all groups are like that though. Football fan groups aren’t, though they can be a bit funny about women.

This group really has descended into madness - more posts are off topic than on topic, and of the off-topic ones the majority are related to mental health.

A quick scroll now shows me a post for someone asking for legal advice (in a CRAFT GROUP), another person asking where to buy clothes for work, a post with one of those spammy "tell me about yourself" form things where you fill in the blanks about what you last ate for dinner etc, someone else asking about gel nails.

Those are the "normal" ones - then there is one with "TW: clutter", followed by TW - Covid-19 (If Corona virus is a trigger for you, then you're fucked really) and another post titled "TW - being alone"

This is literally in the first 15 posts or so, within the last day.

There are two posts about the hobby - one is a shop having a sale

Good golly, they sound unhinged.

I totally agree.

It's completely understandable on a topic that could obviously trigger PTSD type responses which is what it was meant for.

Rape, abuse, suicide, etc.

Using trigger warnings for the topics you've mentioned is ridiculous and makes a mockery of its original intention which was honourable.

Craft groups do seem to be notoriously wanky

Never found that over the past decade, and I belong to about 30, of varying crafts.

It probably depends where you go. I used to be on Livejournal back in the day and comms like Ravelry were full of drama (apparently).

I don't know if it's part and parcel of MH problems or somewhat due to the nature of the treatment to become incredibly self focused and therefore a bit self centred. It's great that the stigma is being lifted but it does seem to have left some people with the feeling that everyone and everything around them has to change to accommodate their MH problems.

don't like the previous set in stone divind command universal moral code.

Obviously wasn't universal as there were other beliefs and religions, many a lot older than Christianity. Many also found it stifling and abusive.

No more 'stiff upper lip' and making the best of things for us british.........

Ah yes, that stiff upper lip that meant that mental health problems were shameful and embarrassing? That meant people were just expected to be fine after major traumas? Older people in my family have many stories of people they knew when they were young who had clearly been left with what would now be called PTSD after WWII but it wasn't talked about or dealt with and people (and often their families with them) just suffered.

@DancingCatGif

I totally agree. If these people are truly upset by these things, sorry, but they need to toughen up. The world is harsh and you're never going to be able to avoid everything that upsets you. The best thing is to be able to deal with the things that upset you.

I suffered from pretty bad PTSD, depressiom, anxiety and other stuff for a long time so I do understand that it is hard. But I always saw that as my issue to sort out, not for others to need to police themselves constantly. You can remove yourself from conversations or talk to the person if they are regularly talking about something that upsets you - eg my SIL has a habit of mentioning child abuse stories which I find hard to deal with - but going around insisting others pander to you about every little thing? That's not how the world works.

These people are on a power trip. I guarantee they don't do this shit at work or whatever, just on the internet where they can meet other people like them who will fall over themselves apologizing for mentioning innocuous shit.

Completely agree with this post. It’s trendy at the moment to be a complete wet wipe. How are these people not embarrassed at themselves? I am utterly baffled that people wear their emotional patheticness aa a badge of honour.

Seriously, wtf. You're not saying mentally ill people are wet wipes and pathetic, are you? Am I supposed to apologise for being mentally ill or something?

Forgot to add, no I am not proud of being autistic and having problems with depression. I am deeply ashamed of it and i hate myself for it because I believed for years depression was a sign of weakness. I've tried bottling it all up and pretending to be normal. It hasn't worked, ever.

They sound dreadful. Leave the group and start your own.

@PhilSwagielka oh come on. This thread isn’t about mentally ill people with depression, autism, etc. It’s about people being feeling that they can’t talk or post about a totally innocent topic (wedding dresses, steaks?!) because some people have made it their sole ambition in life to find anything to be “triggered” by. As PP’s have said, it is the responsibility of the person suffering these obscure (frankly weird and unreasonable) triggers to avoid whatever’s upsetting them. Maybe not such a good idea to join FB groups if the mention of a wedding dress is going to trigger you! Am I seriously having to explain this? Have we lost all common sense?

I think the way TV channels warn people is perfectly adequate. I hate seeing violence, so if the warning is 'Contains scenes of violence some viewers may find distressing' I just don't watch. Same with self harm and S & M, just don't want to watch it. It isn't triggering for me, I just hate that stuff, so am glad for the warnings. On line I just click off.

[quote MellowBird85]@PhilSwagielka oh come on. This thread isn’t about mentally ill people with depression, autism, etc. It’s about people being feeling that they can’t talk or post about a totally innocent topic (wedding dresses, steaks?!) because some people have made it their sole ambition in life to find anything to be “triggered” by. As PP’s have said, it is the responsibility of the person suffering these obscure (frankly weird and unreasonable) triggers to avoid whatever’s upsetting them. Maybe not such a good idea to join FB groups if the mention of a wedding dress is going to trigger you! Am I seriously having to explain this? Have we lost all common sense?[/quote]
It's honestly hard to tell with some of the comments. I mean, I get finding people going 'OMG HOW DARE YOU TRIGGER ME WITH YOUR CAT PICTURES YOU FIEND' ridiculous, I've encountered those on Tumblr but I get the impression some posters think we should all shut up and put on a happy face all the time, and any kind of mental health issue = being a snowflake.

And yes, I do manage my triggers. I have a great therapist and she's really helped me.

@PhilSwagielka I don't see any posters who've said that. Most have said they understand or suffer from mh problems themselves.

I just think we have so many overgrown temper tantrum kids. When did people stop becoming adults? It's worrying.

It makes sense for things like abuse, violence, suicide. Although some people do take it too far I also think some people love to have their "snowflakes everywhere" rant. If the culture of the group is that bad I would find another group.

YA definitely NBU.

We all have topics we wish to avoid, but we can't expect the rest of the world to hide every possible "trigger" behind a warning. There are simply too many things that (some) people want want warnings for. I don't think it's helpful in the long term, for anyone.

I've noticed a weird thing recently where if you say something eg a fact or a quote people assumes that equals support. For example if I said Trump was popular in 'x' state that means I'm a Trump supporter. It's weird.