to be concerned about the increasing sensitivity of our culture?

[CottonEyeJo]

I'm in a FB group for a moderately niche hobby. It's UK based, has about 5k members. The group is specifically about this hobby (a type of craft).

More and more people are posting "Off Topic" (OT) posts, which is pretty frustrating in its own right as if I wanted to read about people's washing machines, husbands, cat sick etc etc then I'd...well, I'd come on to AIBU!

But what's becoming really concerning, is the overuse of the term "Trigger Warning" (TW).

There is now a rule in the group, that if someone wishes to post about a "TW topic" they should post the title, and then put the rest in the comments - so that anyone who could be potentially "triggered" by the content, can safely avoid it.

Firstly - this seems like overkill to me, there's several topics that I avoid because I find them "triggering" upsetting or just plain irritating for various reasons, they reveal themselves in the first sentence or so of a post, so I just close and move on. A daily occurance on Mumsnet really

But more concerningly - it seems that EVERY topic is becoming a "trigger warning".

OT + TW - Make Up. I'll post in the comments

OT + TW - my Dog. I'll post in the comments

etc etc

Usually I'd laugh it off, but people are taking it so seriously - there was a post the other week about wedding dresses (also not related to the hobby) and someone went off on one in the comments about how they had just gone through a divorce, and the topic "triggered" them - AND THE POST WAS REMOVED!

We had one woman get really irate and flouncy because someone was talking about makeup - and the flouncer was vegan and very anti-make up, so reading a post about makeup triggered her anxiety and that was apparently the poor poster's fault - again, admin sided on the flouncer and the post was disabled.

It's just become a bit bonkers - the FB page has become more of a mental health forum (lots and lots and lots of posts about people's depression and anxiety etc etc) which may explain why it's a particularly sensitive space, but I'm seeing it elsewhere as well.

I personally feel that - by and large - a person's mental health (in regards to being "triggered" at least) should be, first and foremost, their own responsibility - and that the onus is on them to avoid topics should they find them unbearable, not for the rest of the population to moderate their language so that every possible trigger is omitted.

I'd also add that if just seeing a line about a stranger's dog dying, or wedding announcement or pregnancy is enough to set someone off in a mental health spiral - siginificant medical intervention should be in place and that person should be taking steps to avoid social media.

I think ranting about triggering is the new ‘politically correct gone mad’.

Strange how people so dismissive of the concept seem to encounter it constantly.

I’m certainly tired of reading nonsense like so many of the tirades above, composed almost entirely of ludicrous hyperbole. A trigger warning has a very specific role: it’s not to prevent anyone mentioning their pet rat to someone who may have just lost a pet rat, it’s used when the topic may cause a crisis in a person with PTSD. Hence its use on posts about child abuse, or domestic violence.

If you’re finding it used constantly in other circumstances......you’re having a very different online experience to my own. Are you, by chance, also surrounded by people wishing you ‘happy holidays’ and boycotting nativity plays?

I’m not hugely surprised, lots of people who suffer mental health fall into having a talent with craft, or use craft as a helping tool.

Yanbu about how bonkers the world is going!!

I agree OP.

I think TW have a genuine place for traumatic events / topics.

But its being totally abused by the wokestazi. I don't think we have a moral right to not be offended. We may find something offensive, but that doesn't mean the person saying it should have their language policed. Yes it may objectively be rude / offensive, or just nasty, but some people are, and that is part of life. We choose how we react and that can include avoiding those people. And of course, morally I think we should aim to be considerate of other people, and kind. But we don't get to control how others speak and act. Of course there are exceptions for hate speech - racism etc. There's a reason there is a specific, legal definition for something to be classed as hate speech - it's nuanced. We seem to be collectively losing the ability to appreciate nuance. I think everything being discussed here is also so tied up with cancel culture, and the nonsense around TRAs etc. And as others have said it comes down to trying to police and control how others act and speak instead of taking responsibility for how we feel.

You just gotta get with the new vocab...

"Shamed" = criticised
"Called out" = criticised
"Throw shade" = criticise
"Cancelled" = criticised by a lot of people

it’s used when the topic may cause a crisis in a person with PTSD. Hence its use on posts about child abuse, or domestic violence.

As you can see from the thread everyone understands that. However, what people moan about is that "being triggered" is now used to shut down quite random discussions and TWs are now demanded on subjects where it's just ridiculous.

TW should absolutely be used, but as it was intended to.

I should add - hate speech is on the one hand nuanced, and yet at the same time, if you're not racist, it is fairly straightforward to avoid saying racist things, just like for the type of men who talk about 'political correctness gone mad' etc in the wake of #metoo, saying such nonsense as 'you can't even talk to a woman now in case you get accused of sexual harassment' - again, funnily enough if you're not a sexual harasser it's fairly straightforward to not sexually harass people....

To be honest hate speech is something else being used too much to the point of struggling to take it seriously. It often just means "disagreeing with"

@SnuggyBuggy

To be honest hate speech is something else being used too much to the point of struggling to take it seriously. It often just means "disagreeing with"

Completely agree. And you're seeing stories these days of the police misunderstanding what it means, warning people they've committed an offence for hate speech etc, which is worrying..... Telling someone they needed to check their thinking for a tweet the wrote springs to mind....

So is the word "racist".

As pps said. These overuses dilute the significance the word should have. Someone said man was racist because he told mum and daughter "monkey sees, monkey do"🙄 These things make a ridicule out of serious things. As does TW on bullshit.

Well it was most likely made up thread, but this wasn't from an OP.

I think just going through the process of being born nowadays causes PTSD, anxiety, and other issues. Especially online. Rare to find anyone who doesn’t have MH issues or some other behavioral difficulty. It’s an insult to people who actually have genuine learning difficulties and MH issues. First world problems in order to get attention.

Sounds like a shit group. Leave

I think trigger warnings are useful for serious things such as murder, rape, child abuse etc. as people who have experience with those things might prefer to avoid or mentally prepare themselves for those topics if it's not expected. But you dont need a trigger warning for everything, especially not wedding dresses!

I work in MH. Identifying and managing Triggers is important, hard work. To see it so trivialised and misused by fuckwits on the internet is insulting.

It’s a new world, where nobody takes responsibility for themselves anymore. The personal triggers, the selfies, the tweeting, the deletion of tweets, the facebook posturing, the instagramming, it is all me, me and more me. And then the world makes a comment that affects the self-involved bubble and it is the world’s fault. Take your own shit and deal with it. It is like we have hit pause on evolving. We can’t all have the same views or sensitivities, we may as well be the ‘borg’. I think the tide will turn and in some corners it has and until then...as @roxfox said...

Sounds like a shit group. Leave

Agree with you. Although disagree and think they’re not sensitive or triggered; they’re just entitled and self obsessed

Could you make your own group, announce the creation on the old group and say that it is strictly for your craft and off topic posts are not permitted (as admin you can delete them)?

@Gancanny

Honestly? Leave the group and find a different one, you'll be happier for it.

Why should OP have to leave the group. This is a group about her hobby, not mental health. She shouldn't have to leave just because other people can't find a more appropriate outlet.

I feel like our society is incapable of making a genuine, positive change without amplifying it to a degree that is just plain ridiculous. No one wants to go back to the days where mental health was ignored entirely and everyone was expected to stiff upper lip through any amount of mental anguish but ffs why can no one have a bad day now without it being a "condition"?
No one wants to go back to the days where lbgtq people were persecuted or discriminated against but now we can't have separate bathrooms and changing rooms because 1% of the population want something different?
Many other examples but you get the idea.
I'm fed up with it all.

Trigger warnings are useless - what’s triggering for one person won’t be for another, it’s for the individual to know their triggers and how to manage them. If you don’t want to read about rape, murder or whatever you simply don’t read the post or topic. I’m over trying to police what other people might find difficult to read - assuming everyone in the group is an adult, they need to take responsibility for themselves and their own well being.

@eveningfalls

It’s a new world, where nobody takes responsibility for themselves anymore. The personal triggers, the selfies, the tweeting, the deletion of tweets, the facebook posturing, the instagramming, it is all me, me and more me. And then the world makes a comment that affects the self-involved bubble and it is the world’s fault. Take your own shit and deal with it. It is like we have hit pause on evolving. We can’t all have the same views or sensitivities, we may as well be the ‘borg’. I think the tide will turn and in some corners it has and until then...as *@roxfox* said...

Sounds like a shit group. Leave

I have to admit, I find the sheer preponderance of mumsnetters who claim to have ASD/SEN children, Narc husbands and former partners, and various psychiatric conditions themselves, ASD parents/siblings/grandparents all a bit

Considering the inconsistent levels of support and understanding in RL it makes sense that parents of children with autism, SEN (special education needs), or SN/AN (special needs/additional needs) would utilise online support. That's why you see a lot of parents of children with additional needs here, they are also more like to ask for help and to offer the benefit of experience to others in similar situations.

Why should OP have to leave the group. This is a group about her hobby, not mental health. She shouldn't have to leave just because other people can't find a more appropriate outlet

Because it doesn't sounds like the group is going to change any time soon and the admins don't seem like they want to change it so why expend energy in persisting with something so negative when there are alternative groups out there?

Yep, the great british public has officially become jam packed with bloody snowflakes who expect everyone else to avoid talking about almost anything because it offends their delicate sensibilities and 'triggers' something !

No more 'stiff upper lip' and making the best of things for us british.........

Just bloody snowflakes who expect everyone to treat them with kid gloves and tip toe round their (often overly exaggerated or even imaginary) bloody ''issues'' and ''anxieties''...........

Makes my blood boil.

WTAF would happen to these ''sensitive souls'' if we went to war ?? Or aliens invade?? or bloody terrorists target us again ??

I fully get that some people have actually been to Hell through actual RL issues e.g DV, rape, PTSD etc, and these people deserve understanding and support.

But the nutters who say they've been ''violated'' because they saw me buy make-up and steaks ? Get real.

Also if we take that approach those things will become stigmatised again

Bloody good point! Isnt the entire point of the metoo movement to bring sexual assault/ harassment and rape to light? so we are all aware of it going on and it stops being part of some horrible "dirty little secret" thats hushed up by the men in power with control? Bringing things out into the open is a good thing. It increases awareness and helps people not to feel so isolated. Telling people they cannot talk about distressing events in their lives is going backwards 50 years when people were encouraged to brush unpleasant things under the carpet and not speak of them. Thats not a good thing.

Weirdly I think many people are in a worse position because of this culture, than the time when there was some stigma. The lower level depression and anxiety suffers had no choice but to get on with life and did. I know I did. Whereas now it would be easier to hide behind the diagnosis’s and not engage with the world, not get a job or move out etc. Not that we need to go back to stigmatising it, just having a better balance.

I agree there’s lots of ASD etc parents. But is it also partly because it’s much more common than people realise? I never expected to be one but my eldest is diagnosed. Most people wouldn’t realise, just a quirky kid.

You need a good moderator. The bA thread on Flyertalk is an excellent example, the merge threads and delete when irrelevant or it gets a bit heated