to be concerned about the increasing sensitivity of our culture?

[CottonEyeJo]

I'm in a FB group for a moderately niche hobby. It's UK based, has about 5k members. The group is specifically about this hobby (a type of craft).

More and more people are posting "Off Topic" (OT) posts, which is pretty frustrating in its own right as if I wanted to read about people's washing machines, husbands, cat sick etc etc then I'd...well, I'd come on to AIBU!

But what's becoming really concerning, is the overuse of the term "Trigger Warning" (TW).

There is now a rule in the group, that if someone wishes to post about a "TW topic" they should post the title, and then put the rest in the comments - so that anyone who could be potentially "triggered" by the content, can safely avoid it.

Firstly - this seems like overkill to me, there's several topics that I avoid because I find them "triggering" upsetting or just plain irritating for various reasons, they reveal themselves in the first sentence or so of a post, so I just close and move on. A daily occurance on Mumsnet really

But more concerningly - it seems that EVERY topic is becoming a "trigger warning".

OT + TW - Make Up. I'll post in the comments

OT + TW - my Dog. I'll post in the comments

etc etc

Usually I'd laugh it off, but people are taking it so seriously - there was a post the other week about wedding dresses (also not related to the hobby) and someone went off on one in the comments about how they had just gone through a divorce, and the topic "triggered" them - AND THE POST WAS REMOVED!

We had one woman get really irate and flouncy because someone was talking about makeup - and the flouncer was vegan and very anti-make up, so reading a post about makeup triggered her anxiety and that was apparently the poor poster's fault - again, admin sided on the flouncer and the post was disabled.

It's just become a bit bonkers - the FB page has become more of a mental health forum (lots and lots and lots of posts about people's depression and anxiety etc etc) which may explain why it's a particularly sensitive space, but I'm seeing it elsewhere as well.

I personally feel that - by and large - a person's mental health (in regards to being "triggered" at least) should be, first and foremost, their own responsibility - and that the onus is on them to avoid topics should they find them unbearable, not for the rest of the population to moderate their language so that every possible trigger is omitted.

I'd also add that if just seeing a line about a stranger's dog dying, or wedding announcement or pregnancy is enough to set someone off in a mental health spiral - siginificant medical intervention should be in place and that person should be taking steps to avoid social media.

Absolute madness! Does the woman who's getting divorced, become distressed every time she drives past a wedding shop and go in & have a go at them?! Or every time she sees a couple holding hands, starting screaming at them?! Unbelievable

Honestly, I'm genuinely concerned we're all beginning to turn on each other. Give it 10 years and it'll be Armageddon. You'll need Pre-approval to say or type anything

@emptydreamer

I was in a group where there was a bunfight because someone neglected to add a TW on a topic about cameras If that was the one where the topic was about teenage children wanting to try out photography as a hobby (and asking which beginner camera to buy), I have also seen that, ridiculous.

PLEEEASE send me a link?! Or add me to the group? I won't say anything negative I just have to see this out of pure curiosity!

I used to share a home with someone who was triggered by ambulances and emergency sirens. You try to be as understanding as you can, and I do completely accept that her reaction is genuine and she simply couldn't help it. When it's been a regular thing for years though, and something like watching an episode of 'The Bill' would send her scurrying from the room for the umpteenth time that week, it's really difficult not to feel your compassion stretched a bit a roll your eyes. I think that's a normal reaction when it's something that has been going on for years and years and the events that caused it occurred decades ago.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

I think that is different though. She's not yelling at you to turn the TV off or something.

think that is different though. She's not yelling at you to turn the TV off or something

Oh absolutely, I'm just saying that I don't think it makes anyone unkind or somehow inconsiderate when they grow a bit tired of it happening repeatedly at seemingly the slightest hint of whatever the anointed 'trigger' is. When other people are easily able to predict someone is about to go off on one, and it still happens regular as clockwork, you have to wonder if the person themselves is really doing what they can to avoid the triggering situation if it's truly all that disturbing to them, and I don't think you can blame people for becoming a bit world-weary and sceptical either.

I'm not suggesting I think it's common to fake these sort of things, but I have come across a few people where I genuinely found myself wondering about the authenticity of their claims.

I'm not inherently sceptical about MH conditions on the whole. I have suffered crushing clinical depressions myself in the past, and I work with people who have diagnoses. Malingering and phantom symptoms that only develop once a patient becomes aware of the existence of symptoms in other sufferers are a long and well documented fact though, so there are undoubtedly piss-takers and attention whores out there who are complete fraudsters. As we destigmatise MH and awareness grows, it stands to reason that the number of malingerers and fakes will also grow. You always give someone the benefit of doubt and accept they are being honest, but it's only natural, and I think perfectly healthy, to retain a degree of scepticism, especially so in cases where there's obvious reason to expect someone is at it.

*suspect, sorry. Not 'expect'

I am a trauma survivor. I recently came to realise that I am responsible for my triggers and no one else. I do think that many of the trigger warnings these days are more about social justice warrior.types getting offended al l.The time rather than actual trauma. I have no time for all this PC woke nonsense.

Obviously am not talking about real oppression here like for example, people being beaten up for being LBGT, but the snowflakes who get outraged over t.shirts saying a woman is an adult human female or something of that ilk. That kind of snowflakery smacks of "all about me-ism" which is very tedious.

I don't understand it at all when people write "Trigger Warning!" then you have to read the post to find out what it is all about. What's the point? Write a clear topic title and people can decide whether they are strong enough to read the rest.

The one thing I do hate is language policing. Like, I get words like spastic, mong and retard are nasty ableist words, but trigger warning for ableism when people use words like stupid or idiot? Idiot is no longer a medical diagnosis, neither is moron, and stupid is a totally innocuous word that has nothing to do with disability. I avoid a lot of feminist/disability activist spaces for this reason. It makes me anxious about being jumped on.

It's bit of minefield for non native speakers. For example retard is absolutely unacceptable in the UK but it's used in US movies and series so if someone is learning from there... It's also still acceptable in many other languages.

I thought retarded and retardation were medical words still used eg. "infection with Zika virus can cause mental retardation" but I'm not sure.

Yeah, they are but I think they're on the way out, and 'retard' is definitely an insult. I used it on here and got a mod warning for it.

'Spaz' is more acceptable in the US than it is here.

See what I mean? MN has automatically hidden my post because I used the 'r' word. I was trying to explain that it is an insult and that the medical definition is on the way out.

Odd because others weren't hidden

Really odd that some are deleted but not others. To be fair it was about 10 years ago that I was at lectures where these terms were used as just neutral medical terms.

It seems a lot of issues today have complex constantly changing language and anyone who innocently uses the wrong word gets piled on like a ton of bricks. What good does this sort of pile on do? It shuts down discussion and alienates people.

I also think some people love to have their "snowflakes everywhere" rant.

TBH the word 'snowflakes'make sme roll my eyes more than the word 'triggered' and I increasingly find that the people who rant about 'snowflakes everyone, omg you need to toughen up!' are the very same people who do things like kick off in shops because they think the staff weren't deferential enough.

Apparently, some people are triggered by full stops at the end of texts.
I read that today.

Erm, ASD is NOT a mental health condition its a neurological difference. some people showing their arses on here.

Back on topic,, i agree its like some people use it as a way of shutting people down not to make people more kind, like a power trip.

I don't think it's anything to do with "being kind". Kind has been left far behind. It's about power. The power to shame and control people publicly in to perceiving you exactly how you want them to, even if they are pretending, and make them too afraid to express their real opinion. Those who push this way of communicating always think it won't affect them and they'll never be shamed but it gets everyone in the end.

People used to believe that when bad things happened to them it was 'God's will': that there was some power greater than them (this is not a comment on whether this is true or not just an observation).

'God's will' has long been abandoned for 'someone is to blame'. A reaction to blame culture is victim mentality which, I think, is what we are seeing now.

One book I read had an interesting chapter about the fear of being average and that people position themselves as winners or victims. Anything to not be... Average. I think that and the power trip might be behind lots of the online "diagnoses".

@Emeeno1

People used to believe that when bad things happened to them it was 'God's will': that there was some power greater than them (this is not a comment on whether this is true or not just an observation).

'God's will' has long been abandoned for 'someone is to blame'. A reaction to blame culture is victim mentality which, I think, is what we are seeing now.

Actually this is interesting! Before people would say "God's did want me to succeed in x. Well, what can I do 🤷🏻", not "I am bit shit in it, aren't I. Time to move on" Maybe the rise of self "diagnosing" is so it can be said "My 'anxiety' stopped me from succeeding in x. Well, what can I do🤷🏻" not "I am bit shit in it, aren't I. Time to move on."

(Again, just to make sure, I absolutely feel for people with real anxiety, this is not about them.)

It is clear that victim mentality is attractive; online you can find credence and support, it offers an explanation for your troubles and excuses your own behaviour.

@Gancanny

I also think some people love to have their "snowflakes everywhere" rant.

TBH the word 'snowflakes'make sme roll my eyes more than the word 'triggered' and I increasingly find that the people who rant about 'snowflakes everyone, omg you need to toughen up!' are the very same people who do things like kick off in shops because they think the staff weren't deferential enough.

Me too. I'm tired of it.