To ask if you’ve ever been off sick with stress?

Goldenamber · 2020-08-20T20:35:13+00:00

(Posting for traffic) Have you ever been off sick with stress and if so, how did you know you had reached the point where you needed that time off and how long were you off for? I never thought this would happen but I think I’m at breaking point [sad]

YeahWhatevver · 20/08/2020 21:36

Watching this with interest, feeling totally burnt out juggling working from home and kids.

Really feeling at the end of my resilience to keep trudging through it.

Muggedoffa · 20/08/2020 21:38

Yes I had a month off. The day I knew it was too much was the day after the night before I went to bed crying. I woke up crying. I felt I couldn't not go in, so got a colleague to bring me my laptop while I took it from them crying. I then spent the day crying still working in a coffee shop. It was too much.

Good luck op it's horrid.

TryingtobePrepared · 20/08/2020 21:40

Crying in my car at lunchtime, almost crying in youth court when trying to present an argument, will never forget how kind the opposing solicitor was he just stood up and talked until I composed myself. Drinking more, effectively not functioning, but I wish i hadn't let it get that far, but hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:41

@Muggedoffa

Yes I had a month off. The day I knew it was too much was the day after the night before I went to bed crying. I woke up crying. I felt I couldn't not go in, so got a colleague to bring me my laptop while I took it from them crying. I then spent the day crying still working in a coffee shop. It was too much.

Good luck op it's horrid.

Sorry to hear that. How did your work deal with it? Were they supportive? I feel I’m at the same stage really, have spent all evening crying. I’ve never cried so much as I have at this current job - despite WFH (which I know people often think makes it nice and relaxed - not!!) often have afternoons where I am close to tears or crying, having to quickly sort myself out before the next call. Some stuff kicked off today and feels like it’s the last straw.

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TryingtobePrepared · 20/08/2020 21:42

@Muggedoffa

Yes I had a month off. The day I knew it was too much was the day after the night before I went to bed crying. I woke up crying. I felt I couldn't not go in, so got a colleague to bring me my laptop while I took it from them crying. I then spent the day crying still working in a coffee shop. It was too much.

Good luck op it's horrid.

crying seems to be a theme, doesn't it? Will also say it was a long time ago and it made me much better at my job and a much better manager. I was being bullied by my then manager and i learnt a lot from my time working with her. No less horrible at the time though, take care OP

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:42

@TryingtobePrepared

Crying in my car at lunchtime, almost crying in youth court when trying to present an argument, will never forget how kind the opposing solicitor was he just stood up and talked until I composed myself. Drinking more, effectively not functioning, but I wish i hadn't let it get that far, but hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Sorry you went through that

how long did you have off and was it awful when you went back afterwards?

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Twizbe · 20/08/2020 21:43

Yes, once when pregnant.

I knew it was time when I cried almost every day and dreaded going to work.

I get stress related eczema and I was covered in it.

Bargebill19 · 20/08/2020 21:44

Yes. Went to the GP with uncontrollable vomiting and crying. I didn’t listen when he said it was stress and needed to rest. (I was 21 which was decades ago). Carried on working for a week until I decided that driving my car into a tree would be a really good idea. DH stopped me and I went off work sick with stress.
I wasn’t off for more than a couple
If weeks before I resigned and found another much lower stress job. (Shorter hours, less
responsibilities and less travelling).

Take the time off if you need to and really pay attention to your mental health.

Nacreous · 20/08/2020 21:45

I had a week off in my last job which I said was a tummy bug plus my IBS and then that got me through to know being a week or two from having 1/3 weeks as holiday for the next 3 months. I sorted my CV and left.

I probably could have done with more but I needed to pass some exams to leave.

No one will look back and thank you for martyring yourself to your job. Look after yourself if you can.

Muggedoffa · 20/08/2020 21:46

My boss was good actually . I think she knew the pressure I was under was too much but she was just passing on pressure she felt. Everyone knew it was a horrible toxic organisation and struggling themselves. It was fine when I went back. It coincided with my divorce so it wasn't just work, but it was a huge huge part of it. I was incredibly stressed and I it triggered depression I've had on and off for years. I think my doctor's note cited 'situational depression' or something - so it was clear it wasn't a long term condition as it were.

42daystogo · 20/08/2020 21:46

Getting a twitch in my eye and face, crying before work, went on sick for work related stress for about 6 weeks, spent the time getting a new (lower paid) job and resigned

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:46

@Bargebill19

Yes. Went to the GP with uncontrollable vomiting and crying. I didn’t listen when he said it was stress and needed to rest. (I was 21 which was decades ago). Carried on working for a week until I decided that driving my car into a tree would be a really good idea. DH stopped me and I went off work sick with stress. I wasn’t off for more than a couple If weeks before I resigned and found another much lower stress job. (Shorter hours, less responsibilities and less travelling).

Take the time off if you need to and really pay attention to your mental health.

Gosh this sounds awful. Really sorry to hear this but glad you found a better job.

Was the GP quite quick to say they thought it was stress? I wouldn’t even know where to start with explaining it. I feel like I’m just moaning over nothing.

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cataclysmiclife · 20/08/2020 21:47

Yes I have it is awful. I was crying a lot, doubting myself and not sleeping. It came to a head when I was at work and just started shaking uncontrollably. I went to the doctor and they signed me off for six weeks. I went back after but found a new job within a month so resigned. It really impacts your physical and mental health. Take care

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:48

@Nacreous

I had a week off in my last job which I said was a tummy bug plus my IBS and then that got me through to know being a week or two from having 1/3 weeks as holiday for the next 3 months. I sorted my CV and left.

I probably could have done with more but I needed to pass some exams to leave.

No one will look back and thank you for martyring yourself to your job. Look after yourself if you can.

So do you mean you said it was IBS rather than a stress? Did you feel you couldn’t say?

I suppose I just worry it will somehow count against me in quite a senior role so am expected to ‘get on with it’

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sm40 · 20/08/2020 21:49

My DH did, he basically couldn't think straight and burst into tears! He was wfh that day (before corona) and went to see the doctor that afternoon.
His work were brilliant, he had 2 weeks off. Had counselling. The kids never asked why he wasn't at work!!

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:49

@cataclysmiclife

Yes I have it is awful. I was crying a lot, doubting myself and not sleeping. It came to a head when I was at work and just started shaking uncontrollably. I went to the doctor and they signed me off for six weeks. I went back after but found a new job within a month so resigned. It really impacts your physical and mental health. Take care

Seems to be a theme of people being off before they then find a new job - isn’t it awful how work does this to us. The sad thing is this was supposed to be a dream job

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Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:50

@sm40

My DH did, he basically couldn't think straight and burst into tears! He was wfh that day (before corona) and went to see the doctor that afternoon. His work were brilliant, he had 2 weeks off. Had counselling. The kids never asked why he wasn't at work!!

Did it affect his work at all? As in his reputation etc? I feel I’d be looked down on for not having been able to cope with things but it’s just been months of relentless stress and feeling like I’m worthless/not valued.

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wherestheotherone · 20/08/2020 21:51

Yes. I took a week off and when it came to going back I mentally collapsed. Crying all the time, being sick, total head fog, anxiety, panic.... basically my whole self didn't function. I took time off to rest. Phased return back to work and I'm now ok. I know to listen to the signs.

peach1234 · 20/08/2020 21:51

Yep same as pp's, constant crying and feeling sick to the point of actually physically throwing up, shaking and feeling constantly on edge and worried about going to work. I knew I'd reached the point I couldn't carry on when I got to the office and couldn't bring myself to go in the door and rang my husband in a state. Unfortunately the anxiety about going back only got worse whilst I was off and I realised the longer I was away that it was the job that was the issue so I didn't go back and got a much less stressful job with much nicer people!

sm40 · 20/08/2020 21:52

DH job was/is very senior. The doctor was really good with him. I think they are good at handling the situation. He changed role slightly, and is much happier now.

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:52

@wherestheotherone

Yes. I took a week off and when it came to going back I mentally collapsed. Crying all the time, being sick, total head fog, anxiety, panic.... basically my whole self didn't function. I took time off to rest. Phased return back to work and I'm now ok. I know to listen to the signs.

So it came to a head whilst you were on leave?

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Bargebill19 · 20/08/2020 21:53

Yes they were. It was a very long time ago when Drs were able to spend the time they felt they needed with each patient. I’m not so sure I would be as lucky today.
I’ve learnt that You need to look after your mental health the same way you look after your physical health.

Original poster

Goldenamber · 20/08/2020 21:53

@sm40

DH job was/is very senior. The doctor was really good with him. I think they are good at handling the situation. He changed role slightly, and is much happier now.

This is my fear, I’m a senior role so I worry they’ll think I’m not resilient enough but sometimes it just gets too much. Glad to hear your DH is in a better place now

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1Morewineplease · 20/08/2020 21:54

I developed stress-related IBS and needed to go to the toilet, immediately ( and very embarrassing that was.) I had merely gone to my GP about a bit of anxiety ( nothing major and could cope, but my body clearly couldn’t.)
Was signed of for two weeks, had a review where I expressed my desire to go back but my GP spotted what my hands were doing ( no idea , other than nervous wringing) and She felt that my answers were “off.”
Signed off for a further six weeks. Went back for a review. Signed off for two more weeks, then I demanded to go back to work as I felt that I was getting further away from my job emotionally.

IBS remains but I have medication to control it.
I loved being able to stay at home, at first, but that, in itself created another problem as I didn’t want to leave the house after that.

Going back was hard but I was phased in by Occupational Health who were fantastic.

MrsAvocet · 20/08/2020 21:55

I have, a long time ago now. I was working full time in a very demanding job with antisocial hours, caring for a sick child and a parent with dementia. I applied for and was granted part time working, with some of the anti social hours removed. I thought that would help but actually it led to me being ostracised and bullied by many of my colleagues. I hit breaking point on the day that I was "advised" not to attend certain key meetings and as I walked out of the building that day I saw the light was on in our CEOs office. I went in, sat down and cried. Fortunately I was taken seriously. The people bullying me were dealt with and I was well supported including seeing a counsellor paid for by my employers. I think I was off for around 6 to 8 weeks. Going back was still difficult but because steps had been taken by me, and others, to address at least some of the issues whilst I was off, it was do-able. I think that's key. Whilst I did just want to run away at the time, I knew I couldn't go back unless things were resolved whilst I was off. Going back to the same things will just break you again - you need to use the time to rest and recuperate but also to make positive changes. Even if you can't deal with everything, relieving the pressure partially does help.
I hope you feel better soon.