To ask if you’ve ever been off sick with stress?

[Goldenamber]

(Posting for traffic)

Have you ever been off sick with stress and if so, how did you know you had reached the point where you needed that time off and how long were you off for?

I never thought this would happen but I think I’m at breaking point

I had a month off in my first job after qualifying, I have IBS but the pain was different and i went dizzy daily. The doctor did a scan and variety of blood tests to check causes however all negative and he put it down to another variation of IBS due to stress. However, he didn't put this on my sick note as he was well aware having stress on my file for sickness would have a negative effect for me.

OP, are you looking around for another job? I assume you already checked whether you can offload some responsibility, or reduce hours. So moving to a new job is the only answer.

Yes when I was being bullied. My eye had seeped so I used that as a reason to be off and got an appointment at my gps. I burst into tears and started to hyperventilate And she was lovely and signed me off for two weeks. I went home and an e-mail rejecting me from a job I had applied for arrived. I had tailored my cv exactly to the people spec and was excited at thinking I could work there. I was applying for a lot of things but this one was the one I was excited about. I stood in my bathroom wailing and flapping my hands shouting ‘oh god what will I do!’ I was in a real state, I went back after 2 weeks as I was looking for something else and didn’t know if my employer would disclose my sick days. I was terribly unwell and it took months to find another job.

You should of course take time off if you're unwell and if your dr thinks it would help get you back on your feet.

Have you looked into any resilience tactics or techniques? While time off is necessary in some cases, I've always tried to focus on building my personal "toolkit" of coping mechanisms so I can protect my career. I work in a very male dominated environment and taking time off for stress would not be well received so I understand your concerns.

I hope you feel better soon

I am just coming to the end of a 4 week break. I’m self employed (client facing job) and it’s the longest break I’ve had in over 8 years of working for myself. I had a constant panicky sick feeling in my stomach, was running on adrenaline and as the time came closer for each session I was due to start I was experiencing panic and a feeling I just couldn’t start speaking. I have a huge amount of stress and change in my personal life also and something had to give. I am starting back slowly next week (very reduced hours) but even the thought if that is making me feel sick. I’m
Not sure yet if I will be able to go back but financially know that for now I have no choice. This is the culmination of two years of stress and I think I’m just waiting to get to the point that I can stop and just crash. I can’t afford to do that (financially or emotionally just yet) but I think it has to come and catch up with me at some point.

Yes. My job is very busy and can be extremely stressful and I realised that I just couldn't focus on my tasks or make decisions easily. Juggling various responsibilities which is second nature to me usually just became impossible. I had a bit of a tearful breakdown at work which is not like me at all.

My GP was great, signed me off for two weeks. It was the break I needed and it helped. I went back after that and my employer was great and supportive and put help in place. I no longer work the stupid hours I used to and that helps as well.

I had two weeks off last year. I was not enjoying a newish job and the team leader was critical and destroying my confidence. At a meeting where she just sat and criticised my work again I started crying and went home and never returned to the job. I took two weeks off sick, one of which was a weeks notice.

Maybe we should do a 'straw poll' - the majority of posters seem to have been 'signed off' with Stress.

Truly interested to know job sectors and work T&Cs if any PPs care to describe further. Pure curiosity on my part.

Me.

In fact the first two weeks of furlough I was still officially signed off with stress. It was a Friday and I was due to finish at three. At 1pm I made an emergency appointment because I knew I simply couldnt go on. You know how marathon runners talk about hitting "the wall"? It was like that, there was simply no more reserves I could call on, I was on the verge of collapse. I had a nervous breakdown 15 years ago precisely because I didnt make that call then and I didnt want to repeat the experience as it took me a good 2 years to recover. I was off for 8 weeks and then furloughed and I can honestly say that furlough was fucking heaven. Bring back lockdown if I never have to face my utter cunt of a boss ever again.

My new boss who had started 10 weeks before lockddown was campaigning for me to resign. He is still at it now. I have found out that he promised my job to his best friend before he even set foot in the place. I am being bullied, have had to accept demotion because my area manager wouldnt accept that covid related childcare issues meant I couldnt do the hours he (my line manager) was demanding, and am still being "managed out". As I have only been there 13 months I am limited as to my legal recourse but I am in the process of raising a grievance with HR, bypassing my manager and area manager altogether.

If I go down, I am taking that bastard with me.

I was off for 8 weeks. I used to absolutely dread going in. When I started crying at my desk I knew it was time.

I was signed off and I never went back.

When I went to GP and cried uncontrollably and they told me to quit my job! Signed me off for several weeks and I gave my notice in.
Tbh as they caused my stress I now wish I'd stayed on sick but was so messed up I want thinking straight. Either way I wasnt fit to go in so didnt.
Hope you're ok OP.

First time was during my training. I got into work one morning and couldn't stop crying. Second time was December. I think it was vocalising my feelings about wanting to self-harm that made me realise I was drowning.

No, never. I’m a great believer in taking responsibility for reducing and managing your own stress, but understand some people do get overwhelmed.
I think it’s down to how individuals manage and perceive stress. It’s not necessarily about the reality. Many in incredibly high pressure, high stress work environments thrive under pressure. Others don’t.
It’s something about having, or at least feeling you have, control.

I didn't but I should have. I was teaching and there were 2 weeks I think until the holidays. So I soldiered (sp?) on.

I would never ever carry on again and I always always now advise people to take time if they need it. Before it comes to breaking point.

You are not indispensable in work. And if you are they should treat you better. And they might realise when you're gone how tough your role is and how much more help you need.
And even if they don't, So what

Take the time off!!!

Yes, and I knew I had to take time off when I stopped being able to process even simple thoughts. It felt like my brain just blew a gasket and I just wasn't functioning properly at work. Every meeting brought me to tears or made me incandescently angry.

@CherryPavlova

No, never. I’m a great believer in taking responsibility for reducing and managing your own stress, but understand some people do get overwhelmed. I think it’s down to how individuals manage and perceive stress. It’s not necessarily about the reality. Many in incredibly high pressure, high stress work environments thrive under pressure. Others don’t. It’s something about having, or at least feeling you have, control.

I work in a high pressure, high stress enviroment, it comes with the territory. Sometimes things go wrong, like today. We had a few fuck ups but nothing that couldnt be sorted.

Work place stress usually comes from people not jobs. Someone who cant cope with their job will end up changing career as it is simply not sustainable long term. But when it is a person who is on your case all the time or micro managing or perceives you as a threat or whatever, that can be so hard to deal with.

I am fucking good at my job. My ex managers (2 of whom are still close personal friends as a result of working together, we were colleagues first) will attest to that. My current manager would be forced to agree, as much as he would hate it. But he wants me out as he knows I am a threat to him, if I wanted his job which I dont. But he doesnt believe that I dont, presumably because he thinks that I am as coniving as he is. I was offered his job before he was and turned it down, but I daresay he wouldnt believe that either. (well, asked to apply with a nod and wink that it would be mine if I did. I didnt apply)

The stress of that almost finished me off. I am glad that you have never had to deal with someone who has a personal workplace vendetta against you, if you had then perhaps you wouldnt have posted something so lacking in understanding and empathy.

I was signed off with stress when DH was undergoing cancer treatment. My employers (of 15 years) were entirely unsympathetic, didn't make any attempt to help with flexible hours,etc.
We have 3 DC, he was having daily treatment 20 miles away and it was impossible to work and juggle everything.
It was making me physically ill, IBS flare up, eye twitch, hair loss,etc
Being signed off was a huge relief but has been held against me ever since.

I've not had a long period off work with stress, but over a period of several years have had a lot of smaller absences due to stress related IBS. Went on for years because I refused to accept it was stress related so kept going back to docs asking what else it could be.

One workplace was not sympathetic, open plan office and loud "are you pregnant?" Comments because of my upset stomach. Current workplace much better, and very sympathetic line manager.

My GP kept recommending anti-anxiety medication, which I stupidly refused for about five years, until it I'd got the point where I couldn't make it through a one hour client meeting without rushing out to be sick/use toilet. Still get occasionally overwhelm/ibs but in the main it's controlled by medication and things are much easier over the last two years.

Yes I have. 3 months. It was a long time coming I had been very teary and anxious for a long time. Then I got dizzy spells and forgot stuff like where I’d parked the car. One night I had such bad pain in my chest I thought I had a heart attack. Went to A&E and it all went abit downhill from there. It was a wake up call.

I was signed off with stress. My manager left me with a complete incompetent fool who couldn’t even fold a letter in half and put it in an envelope to post 🙄 He was hideously useless. It caused me to become stressed and it dragged out my anxiety. Before joining this job two years previously I was in counselling for anxiety and depression.
T’was a fun time, sad no one ever.
I was signed off by my GP for two weeks. Not too long after this incident I handed in my resignation, but that was to do with my df who was dying, and passed not long after.

@HateIsNotGood

Nope - not ever got a sick note for 'stress', maybe for a major operation, but even then a 'sick note' only covered the basics.

Mostly, the only people I know who've got a 'sickie' for 'stress' are public sector or Big Employers who follow the 'guidelines'.

Not minimizing 'stress', but generally in the rest of the working world, it's a 'normal' thing and generally not worthy of a sickie, although may be it should be - with all theT&Cs afforded to the pubworks and bigcompempees that allow for this ailment.

Yes you are minimising it.

And I think it's more you've clearly not been exposed to real stress.

@CherryPavlova

I would be interested in how you would suggest my DH took responsibility for his own stress?

His job mean he was regularly physically beaten up at work, his belongings damaged, car damaged etc.

Did he perceive it wrong? Should he have just smiled when those things happened every day?

Yes, had a month off, two weeks sick and two weeks holiday. For months I had on and off stomach problems and couldn't figure out what it was, went for tests it was that bad. Anyway all calmed down then work started getting bad again and I was crying going home on the train. Got home and started thinking about work and had same stomach issues, this was on a Friday. On the Monday stomach issues started again and went straight to the doctor. Was told by my boss not to get work stress on sick line but that was because he didn't want to do anything. Things still flare up at work now and again but I now my tipping point and have really good boss who helps me through it (btw it is due to a small group of people). It was the hardest thing to admit but the best thing for me even to make me realise it's just a job and my health means more to me. I get annoyed about the tests and medication I went through because of it all

Was at work on a night shift, started crying, and just couldn’t stop, proper heaving, ugly sobs, and I kept saying to myself “it’s just hormones, it will pass” and thought I was just having a moment. But 30 minutes later I was still at it, I’d locked myself in a consultation room at work, but knew that I wasn’t going to be able to stop.

I composed myself enough to go and tell another member of staff I’d been sick and needed to go home, and then got signed off on the Monday. Initially for four weeks, then a further two weeks, and then another four weeks.

Work we’re mostly supportive.

There had been a long lead up to getting to that point, and while it seemed like spontaneous crying at the time, it really wasn’t.

I now recognise the spontaneous unstoppable crying as my first ever panic attack.