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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat scratched baby

201 replies

SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 17:54

Hi there,
Imagine I'm going to be flamed for letting the cat near DD (8m). Please be gentle, am feeling horrible.
We have a rather grumpy elderly cat who for the most part avoids DD. Unfortunately she adores him and now that she's newly crawling likes to follow him around when he occasionally ambles into the kitchen to eat. Normally he jumps on a table if she comes too close but today she managed to grab a handful of fur (I was trying to get her dinner sorted and took my eyes off. I realise I'm a massive dick and I feel uttetly shit😔) and he swiped her arm. He hasn't broken the skin but there's a white scratch mark. Do I need to see the doc? If he'd broken the skin there'd be no question, I'd take her to the walk in straight away.
I feel like the worst parent ever. I'm going to need to rehome the cat aren't I?
Fuck :(

OP posts:
Original poster
SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 22:34

@NotStayingIn No, I'm not rehoming the cat. I love the cat. I freaked out because I'm a bit wired at the moment. End of mat leave, worried about lots of stuff. Rehoming the cat definitely isn't on the agenda (unless he tries to eat her or something.)

I'm really grateful for all the responses (and similar tales of scratch sagas). I'm going to back out now because I'm getting a bit twitchy and defensive. Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. As many of you have said, hopefully DD has learnt a lesson relatively consequence free and I can start being more selective with what I panic about.

OP posts:
boon · 20/08/2020 22:36

Most cats will scratch ours does when feeling playful. Not a reason to rehome. And a scratch that breaks the surface def not a reason to go to a walk in centre.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 20/08/2020 22:41

When I was a similar age I famously pulled the cats tail and got scratched. He was a good natured little guy, but I was basically trying to ride him and he scratched me above my eyebrow. I still have a (very faint) scar. My Dad booted him up the backside into the garden, but I learnt my lesson and didn’t torment the cat to the same level again.

Your daughter is fine, no harm done. Just encourage her to stroke the cat nicely and use this as an opportunity to teach her how to be a good pet owner.

Learningtofeminist · 20/08/2020 22:44

@SideEyeing haven’t rtft but just felt like you could do with some reassurance! One of my baby sister’s first full sentences was “cat sc’atch ‘oo?” delivered with great concern to anyone she felt might have suffered in that way - clearly it was a question we’d asked her often! (Another was “[name of dog]! I ony-y YIDDLE!” delivered with great annoyance while being knocked over by the passing Great Dane for the umpteenth time that day - we used to tell him “be careful, she’s only little.” And I remember when my hamster bit her, telling her it was her own fault for sticking her finger in its cage...]

Trust me: in what will feel like no time at all your ‘baby’ will be tearing his way through brambles, jumping off the furniture and throwing himself off bikes/scooters etc. This scratch hasn’t even broken the skin and has started the process of learning to treat animals with respect as well as affection SmileFlowers

Learningtofeminist · 20/08/2020 22:46

Ih whoops sorry I didn’t read your post properly and misgendered your child 🤦‍♀️Well, despite what everyone says about mine being ‘such a boy’ when he literally gets into scrapes 🙄 I’m pretty sure yours will be doing the same 😁

username108 · 20/08/2020 22:47

Keep the cat, rehome the baby

Shmithecat2 · 20/08/2020 22:48

I've got a 4yo and 6 cats. They've all scratched him at one point another - a particular episode I recall was a flash style scratch down from ds' forehead, trailing down his eyelid (thankfully, his eyes were closed at the crucial moment) and ending halfway down his cheek. There have been other episodes. He's still alive 2 years later, and I still have all the cats. Don't worry about it.

Stopyourhavering64 · 20/08/2020 22:50

Just wait till your baby starts crawling and makes a beeline for the cat food!...my Dd did this when she was 10months old and found the cat's food dish...found her with a mouthful of cat food Shock
Dd is 26 yrs old now and seem fairly well adjusted Grin

LittleNightin · 20/08/2020 22:53

I would talk to your GP, there is something called cat scratch disease. My son was in hospital when he was one with what they thought but never confirmed as cat scratch disease.

Porridgeoat · 20/08/2020 22:57

Don’t be silly, your child will learn quickly to be gentle with the cat. It’s just deserts your child got scratched when being rough. I recommend sitting with the child and showing it how to stroke the cat gently. Practice quite often

LittleNightin · 20/08/2020 22:58

Sorry just saw you said scratch didnt break the skin so ignore what I said about contacting your GP. I definitely would if the skin had been broken.

Ontheboardwalk · 20/08/2020 23:01

Scratch with no blood doesn’t seem as an uncontrolled attack from the cat, more a warning swipe when hurt getting fur pulled out

Always had cats growing up. Soon learnt from a couple of swipes the cat that loved being tucked in a blanket in a pram and the one to not pick up and cuddle

Loved both cats the same

newmum2999 · 20/08/2020 23:03

These things happen. A good learning curve.

You are NOT a shit mum. You can't watch them 24/7.

Pour yourself a wine and look into giving the cat to a friend or family member?

Starsky82 · 20/08/2020 23:14

If I had a pound for every time one of my children was scratched by the cat I’d be a very rich woman! Please don’t worry, cats do scratch and bite. My cat came for a cuddle this morning and I was watching tv whilst stroking her and she bit me! Some cats are more tolerant than others. I can see why you’ve panicked as on ‘fresh’ skin it can look horrific. Your child will learn eventually and the cat will also try to keep it’s distance. You are not a bad parent or cat owner, you are human and you can’t be everywhere all the time 😘

Rhianna1980 · 20/08/2020 23:32

Easy answer. My baby comes first, grumpy cat will have to go.

Hearwego · 20/08/2020 23:35

I’m amazed people create threads like these.. really? Do they need their hands holding everywhere they go? Goodness.

lolalolalol · 20/08/2020 23:45

Op, there's lots of scary info re cat scratches on the internet but it's rare and worse case.
We've got young cats, they've swiped DC a few times. One also loves playing this pouncing game which has seen my hand scratched a few timed accidentally, I just clean it.

Bites are a different story and do require antibiotics I believe.

(I'v definitely been there with the googling and panicking though about a variety of other stuff).

WhatamessIgotinto · 21/08/2020 09:14

@Hearwego you're 'amazed'? Really? OP is a first time mum looking for reassurance, I'm sure you don't need to be 'amazed' by that. Seems a tad of an over the top reaction to the thread. Goodness.

MrsLully · 21/08/2020 09:40

First of all, don't beat yourself up, OP, it's ok.
I'm going to go against the grain here and tell you that your best option for peace of mind is to re-home the cat. Think about what people would say if this was about a dog that tried to bite...
I was in a similar situation and ended up doing it. My baby also seemed to be developing an allergy to cats as well, and that was a factor but not a determinant one tbh. It was very sad, but at the end of the day my child comes first. And no, my cat is not my child, sorry. The peace of mind I got after I did it made it totally worth it. Now my cat is with a childless family where he doesn't need to be told off just for existing and having basic instincts, and my child is free to roam the house without me being constantly worried that she was going to stumble into the cat by accident. Some people manage to have pets and kids together and it works for them, I do struggle with anxiety and it didn't work for me, so I solved the problem as best as I could.
Good luck with whatever you decide xx

AllPlayedOut · 21/08/2020 09:46

Think about what people would say if this was about a dog that tried to bite...

It isn't a bloody dog though, is it? People like you make me so bloody angry. Treating animals like they're disposable. No wonder there are so many unwanted animals when people expect them to act like automatons taking whatever punishment they and their child dishes out and get rid of them at the slightest sign of them behaving like an animal. There is no need to get rid of the cat for being a cat. Thankfully the OP seems to have more sense. It is perfectly possible for babies and cats to live together.

StatementKnickers · 21/08/2020 09:55

@Stopyourhavering64

Just wait till your baby starts crawling and makes a beeline for the cat food!...my Dd did this when she was 10months old and found the cat's food dish...found her with a mouthful of cat food Shock Dd is 26 yrs old now and seem fairly well adjusted Grin
This has reminded me of when a friend brought her 14 month old over to my place and put her down to explore. We heard a lapping sound and looked round to see her DD drinking from the cat's water bowl... she was absolutely fine! Babies are resilient Grin
inpontypandyallday · 21/08/2020 10:36

Think about what people would say if this was about a dog that tried to bite

But it isn't.

An aggressive dog is a lot more dangerous to a child.

MrsLully · 21/08/2020 22:07

@AllPlayedOut I understand. Lots of things make me angry as well. Strangers giving their sensible opinion on the internet and stating that the choice they made worked for them for personal circumstances don't get me particularly worked up, but to each their own!
Comparing the cat to a dog it's bloody horrible of me, of course, because as we all know cats don't have teeth (like other pets that I won't dare mention) or claws so sharp that sort of make up for the size of their teeth compared to the ones of that other pet. Of course there's the fact that cats are super easily domesticated and docile and love to follow rules and commands as they are so eager to please, making them the ideal pet to have around a child. Oh wait, I got confused again. Apologies.

Now seriously, if my cat was stressed out because there was a tiny human running around all over the place and the poor thing lashed out it's not his fault. Also, it's not my kids fault that one of those times he was in the wrong place. We practiced gentle hands all the time and that wasn't enough, because none of the incidents happened when she was actually petting the cat, they happened just because she happened to run at the wrong thing at the wrong speed at the wrong time.
I try my hardest to respect all animals, but my kids wellbeing (and for that matter, any other child's wellbeing) will always be above any love I can have for any pet.
None of us were happy with the situation, cat included. Should have I gotten rid of my kid? What's so horrible about trying to make the best decision for everyone involved? If you have pets and kids and have managed to make it work that's brilliant, good for you, hurray.
I didn't, I'll go cut myself a bit for being so evil.

Ideasplease322 · 21/08/2020 22:35

People giving up on pets is always an emotive subject. Lots of people seem to give up on cats when they have children (the internet and shelters seem to be full of these little rejects😿). Perhaps a little more thought and research before deciding they can offer a home to a pet before making this commitment would avoid this situation.

But obviously a child is more important and it’s not possible to manage them both, then the poor cat has to go.

Comparing a cat scratching a child who has grabbed a lump of its fur to a dog bite is a little ridiculous and overly dramatic.

PhilSwagielka · 21/08/2020 22:55

Cats are less likely to kill a human being than dogs are. They can hurt people - I should know, my current cat has bitten and scratched me several times to the point where I nearly got rid of him - but how many cases of people being killed by cats are there, compared to dogs?

I'd say only get rid of the cat if it continues to attack the child, especially if it's unprovoked. My gran didn't rehome her cat when he scratched me. Generally he was pretty chilled out.