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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat scratched baby

201 replies

SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 17:54

Hi there,
Imagine I'm going to be flamed for letting the cat near DD (8m). Please be gentle, am feeling horrible.
We have a rather grumpy elderly cat who for the most part avoids DD. Unfortunately she adores him and now that she's newly crawling likes to follow him around when he occasionally ambles into the kitchen to eat. Normally he jumps on a table if she comes too close but today she managed to grab a handful of fur (I was trying to get her dinner sorted and took my eyes off. I realise I'm a massive dick and I feel uttetly shit😔) and he swiped her arm. He hasn't broken the skin but there's a white scratch mark. Do I need to see the doc? If he'd broken the skin there'd be no question, I'd take her to the walk in straight away.
I feel like the worst parent ever. I'm going to need to rehome the cat aren't I?
Fuck :(

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 20/08/2020 18:10

In the nicest possible way - get a grip!

Neither are harmed. It’s fine.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2020 18:12

You need to make sure the cat has several high places it can access to get away from the baby. Do you have a cat tree? If not, I would get one and put it near a window.

user1493413286 · 20/08/2020 18:13

In the kindest way calm down - you don’t need to rehome your cat and these things happen. I’m surprised it never happened with mine as my DD used to chase them under the table and I’d have a job reaching either of them. It sounds like your cat was giving a warning swipe.

OnceUponALorry · 20/08/2020 18:13

First time mum ?

Its a little scratch. Your DC will.learn not to grab at the cat.

Be kind to yourself. Anxiety can be all consuming Flowers

MaxNormal · 20/08/2020 18:13

This is how babies learn not to torment cats.
Please do try and protect your cat though, especially once your vmchild is bigger anx stronger and your cat more elderly and frail.

Original poster
SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 18:14

@aquamarine1029 he does, we've also made sure his food bowl is now on the windowsill etc. I've been really cautious and I cocked up today - tired, I think. Thank you.

OP posts:
Namechange6005 · 20/08/2020 18:15

I think you are massively over reacting here. Why would you take baby to doctor for a cat scratch Confused and rehoming your elderly cat after 1 scratch Shock maybe your dd will learn not grab at the cat and you should also be telling her. But I think that's really unfair to rehome an elderly animal.

Puffalicious · 20/08/2020 18:16

God, all these posts about keeping the baby away from the cat, that's bloody difficult! The cat does not trump a baby FFS! If the cat is a danger- get rid.

jeremypaxo · 20/08/2020 18:16

This is really not a big deal, as others have said. We have a cat and a toddler. Sometimes the toddler pulls a chunk of fur out of the cat (who doesn't react). Sometimes the cat swipes at the baby (who doesn't react either). Both of them are happy and loved. They're just learning how to be around each other. It'll be fine. Just make sure you're there to keep an eye out for any major scraps.

Original poster
SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 18:17

I know it's unfair @Namechange6005 I panicked a bit. I just need to be more vigilant. Not that it's going to happen but before she was born we did discuss what would happen if he was aggressive towards the new baby and a friend agreed they'd take him (he's stayed there before when we've gone away etc). I know that's still shit though.

OP posts:
I8toys · 20/08/2020 18:18

I'm glad you've realised how ridiculous you sound. Keep the child away from the poor cat and say the word No to her - the child that is. Totally agree that its unfair to rehome an elderly cat. Unclench and breathe.

ImFree2doasiwant · 20/08/2020 18:18

Really don't worry. Your daughter will learn very quickly to leave him alone.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/08/2020 18:19

[quote SideEyeing]@aquamarine1029 he does, we've also made sure his food bowl is now on the windowsill etc. I've been really cautious and I cocked up today - tired, I think. Thank you.[/quote]
Just watch him if he is comfortable getting up there. You say it's an elderly cat so eventually it might be bit struggle.

UpsyDaisysarmpit · 20/08/2020 18:20

@SideEyeing

You are not a bad parent or a bad cat owner. The cat will be fine. I got our first cat and then had a baby, and another baby. It was fine. When he died, we waited till the kids were 5 and 8 before getting another cat. He was a bit scratchy when the 5 year old picked him up unannounced, but she learned not to do that.
Your baby will learn to be nice to the cat, and will get far more from pet ownership growing up than she will lose from the odd scratch. Just give the cat places to go. Shelving maybe? Cat friendly window ledge? Make lots of lovely out of reach places for your cat. And don't feel guilty - your cat would suffer far more being rehomed. Your baby will soon be a toddler and will learn how to treat others and animals from you.
If it helps, when DD was that age, I forgot she wasn't clipped in and went off with the high chair table to wash, and unfortunately she jumped straight off...plop...onto the floor, traumatising my 3 year old at the time and creating his first memory Blush. But she was fine (I wasn't). I could go on. And every single one of us I guarantee could come up with at least one example of things like that. Please don't beat yourself up over this Flowers.

HelloChompy · 20/08/2020 18:20

OP, I know that you have probably read that cat scratches can become infected, which may be why you are panicking 🙂 Your cat hasn't broken your baby's skin though.

Yes, I imagine that you feel awful but as long as you are vigilant going forwards you can prevent a similar thing from happening again by using playpens/gates etc.

I mean this in the nicest possible way, you say that you are scared about everything. Anxiety is awful to live with, are you able to get any help with it?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/08/2020 18:20

@SideEyeing

I know it's unfair *@Namechange6005* I panicked a bit. I just need to be more vigilant. Not that it's going to happen but before she was born we did discuss what would happen if he was aggressive towards the new baby and a friend agreed they'd take him (he's stayed there before when we've gone away etc). I know that's still shit though.
He wasn't aggressive. It was self defence. Grin
AllPlayedOut · 20/08/2020 18:21

God, all these posts about keeping the baby away from the cat, that's bloody difficult! The cat does not trump a baby FFS! If the cat is a danger- get rid.

You clearly know nothing about cats. It is not a danger. It is a cat being a cat. The baby hurt the cat and it responded to defend itself. Perfectly normal. It is a scratch not a dog bite. No wonder there's so many poor bloody animals needing homes when people expect their animals to behave like stuffed toys and not living beings(And I don't mean the OP)

category12 · 20/08/2020 18:21

God, a kid isn't going to die of a cat scratch - it's not like a dog being aggressive towards them. Just don't leave them together unattended and give the cat safe places to escape to.

Original poster
SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 18:22

@SchrodingersImmigrant Ah I know - I meant we discussed what we'd do if we brought the baby home and he was for some reason actively hostile.

To those asking about anxiety, yeah I think it possibly is getting the better of me a bit. Just not doing a great job at "being" at the moment!

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 20/08/2020 18:22

We did re-home our cat when she scratched DD. But in this case it was the cat who approached DD, who was minding her own business, and swiped her face. Narrowly missed her eye. Handily a friend had been musing about getting a cat for a while so she now lives happily with my friend where cat rules the roost.

FelicityPike · 20/08/2020 18:22

Even a “burst the skin” scratch wouldn’t automatically need to see a medical professional.

RiteAid · 20/08/2020 18:24

You do not need to rehome the cat or see a doctor.

Your daughter will learn to leave the cat alone in time. Until then, you will need to be vigilant. There are probably practical steps you can take too - put the cat’s food somewhere out of reach of your baby, and make sure he has a place to escape to that she can’t get to (either a room upstairs or a high up bed). Be consistent with teaching her not to bother the cat, and keep watch if they’re in the room together.

Rehoming the cat should be an absolute last report, especially as he is elderly. You are not remotely close to that stage yet.

2beautifulbabs · 20/08/2020 18:24

Hi Op I've been to see Drs today myself same thing happened with my 17 month old DD and she's not my first my DM cat scrammed my daughter caught her on her forehead and her eyelid I had to take her to make sure the cat hadn't caught her eyeball as there was blood coming out of her eye and I wasn't sure if it had or not.
The dr cleaned it up and told me to keep an eye on it to make sure it didn't get infected and if it become red and angry looking or weeping to immediately take her back for antibiotics.
The dr did say if it was a cat bite would be far worse than cat scram as that's where most of the Bactria is in their mouths more than their claws etc.

It is bloody horrible when it happens and sadly all it takes is a split second for these things to happen.

Just try and keep them separate one lessons been learnt next time me and the kids arrive to stay the cat will be boarded to stop a repeat incident.

user1471462428 · 20/08/2020 18:25

I don’t know why you’re getting all the first time mum comments cos I still panic about the second one. Have you got anyone you can call? I always find having a chat to someone calms me down.

Bluepolkadots42 · 20/08/2020 18:25

Even if the cat had broken the skin with a scratch you wouldn't need to see a doctor...
If the cat bites and breaks the skin then that is a different kettle of fish- if that did ever happen DON'T wipe the bite with anti bac- just run under clean cold water. I learned this the hard way after I was bitten by a cat and scrubbed at it with anti-bac wipes from first aid kit before heading to Walk in for antibiotics and nurse told me off... (in a nice way might I add).
I recommend getting your cat a cat tree now your DC is on move- we had to do this once our DD started crawling because she was stalking cat and pulling tail etc. and as much as we want to, it just isn't possible to watch a child every milisecond of the day because there's dinners to be cooked, washing to be hung etc. Don't feel like a dick- these things happen.