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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat scratched baby

201 replies

SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 17:54

Hi there,
Imagine I'm going to be flamed for letting the cat near DD (8m). Please be gentle, am feeling horrible.
We have a rather grumpy elderly cat who for the most part avoids DD. Unfortunately she adores him and now that she's newly crawling likes to follow him around when he occasionally ambles into the kitchen to eat. Normally he jumps on a table if she comes too close but today she managed to grab a handful of fur (I was trying to get her dinner sorted and took my eyes off. I realise I'm a massive dick and I feel uttetly shit😔) and he swiped her arm. He hasn't broken the skin but there's a white scratch mark. Do I need to see the doc? If he'd broken the skin there'd be no question, I'd take her to the walk in straight away.
I feel like the worst parent ever. I'm going to need to rehome the cat aren't I?
Fuck :(

OP posts:
AllPlayedOut · 20/08/2020 18:25

Even a “burst the skin” scratch wouldn’t automatically need to see a medical professional.

This. Of course clean it thoroughly and keep an eye on it but I grew up in a home with family who rescued cats, so we could have a dozen or more at a time of all ages. I got scratched regularly, sometimes drawing blood. I've never had an infected wound or even a hint of one.

Namechange6005 · 20/08/2020 18:26

Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh in my post. I also have a cat and a baby. When the dcat is lying down I take the baby over to pet him. This is only tolerated by dcat for a very short time but it still gets the 2 of them interacting. The dcat is fine with my older children but in general he doesn't like much petting.

spinningaround72 · 20/08/2020 18:28

[quote SideEyeing]@ILoveFood87 I guess I'm worried that his life is going to be shit if I'm constantly shooing him away. I love the cat, I don't want him to feel rejected then get jealous.[/quote]
If you take him to a shelter to be rehomed chances are he won't be with being elderly and grumpy. Keep the cat and the baby separate.

The cat didnt even scratch the baby and if it really wanted to, it would have.

Original poster
SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 18:28

Thanks everyone. You've helped calm me down. Need to be less neurotic.. I grew up with bloody cats myself and got scratched heaps. I think I just feel DD is too good to be true and like something bad will almost certainly happen to her so panic at everything and anything. Good to know re bites though, I didn't realise that re bacteria.

OP posts:
Grrretel · 20/08/2020 18:30

Cat has learned not to go near the baby, baby might learn to be cautious of the cat. Both are fine!

My cat has just recently started letting my nearly 3 year old get near enough to stroke her!

Nomorepies · 20/08/2020 18:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Manolin · 20/08/2020 18:30

Just don't accidentally pour Dreamies into DD's cereal bowl mistaking them for Cheerios.

WaynettaLob · 20/08/2020 18:30

@ILoveFood87
No, how horrible are you??
Talk about kicking a fellow mother when she's down

StillMissV · 20/08/2020 18:31

Jings. You've said you're open to a head wobble - cats/pets and babies/toddlers/children learn to coexist. As my mother would put it, nobody died. You can't be reacting like this every time your child sustains a minor (non) injury! She's fine, the cats fine, the cat will probably give a wide berth... get over it.

Meant in the nicest way.

Waveysnail · 20/08/2020 18:31

Just get playpen or travel cot and put dd in it when u need to do something. Not dissimilar to having a baby and toddler - you have to keep them seperate if your not watching them directly

UsedUpUsername · 20/08/2020 18:32

As others have said, cat scratch isn’t a big deal especially as no skin was broken (even if, you just wash with soap and water).

Cat bites should be taken more seriously though, that’s where the bacteria hides.

Your child will need to learn to respect the cat’s space, and this is a learning experience for them.

My toddler has got plenty of scratches from our cats (DC is a slow learner when it comes to this sort of thing 🤦‍♀️) as I did as a kid.

Do you have high perches as an escape route for the cat? Loads of ideas online about how to do this with cheap Ikea products!

Arthersleep · 20/08/2020 18:33

Blimey, you need to cut yourself some slack! It was a scratch. You would only need to go to the drs if the cat sank its teeth in and broke the skin. The baby will learn to keep her distance and the cat will learn to keep out of her way. Make sure that he has somewhere nice and quiet to escape to. I wouldn't feel particularly bad about this. And I definitely wouldn't consider rehoming the cat.

sycamorecottage · 20/08/2020 18:33

@SideEyeing

I know it's unfair *@Namechange6005* I panicked a bit. I just need to be more vigilant. Not that it's going to happen but before she was born we did discuss what would happen if he was aggressive towards the new baby and a friend agreed they'd take him (he's stayed there before when we've gone away etc). I know that's still shit though.
The cat was not aggressive towards the baby. He was defending himself from a sudden and unprovoked attack.

Both baby and cat will have learned a lesson today. The cat will have learned to keep well away from the small human who attacks him, and the baby will hopefully have learned to stay away from the cat.

SadieContrary · 20/08/2020 18:34

My 3yo will not give our cat a minutes peace when he's daft enough to go near her. She's had a few warning swipes (and I say this because that's what they are - if a cat wants to scratch, it will!).
I realise my DD is older than yours but she's been the same since she was on the move. She knows now if she's 'scratched' (pls note, it's barely a mark, no broken skin) then she will get no sympathy from me but likely a telling off for tormenting our poor kitty.
You don't need a doc. Just loads of patience. Both cat and child will learn... in time!

bloodywhitecat · 20/08/2020 18:34

Welcome to parenthood, none of us are perfect and we all take our eye off the ball from time-to-time. No real harm was done, there is no need for guilt (or rehoming the cat) and I can bet worse things will happen in the years to come. Flowers

TeddyIsaHe · 20/08/2020 18:35

Oh op I do get where you’re coming from, I once stupidly sat Dd on the couch where my parents elderly, grumpy cat was laying along the top. Dd screeched, made the cat jump and she full on launched herself at Dd! A scratched face, but she was fine.

Maybe keep a little eye on your anxiety? I had really bad PNA centred around SIDS, but got MUCH better with fluoxetine and CBT.

Don’t beat yourself up! We all make mistakes.

WhatamessIgotinto · 20/08/2020 18:35

Don't rehome the cat and don't keep shooing him - teach your DD to be gentle. (shoo her if needed! Grin) Although the best case scenario is to keep them apart. He's an old man, he needs calm and love. Not a new home.

MrMeSeeks · 20/08/2020 18:36

It’ll be fine, ive been savaged on a a daily basis!
I was also scratched and bitten as a Child, i learnt not too piss the dog off Grin

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 20/08/2020 18:36

My cat scratched DD when she was a baby. (She pulled the poor things tail). As soon as puss did she ran away - she was a soft mess and knew what she’d done wasn’t good as DD howled. It was a proper scratch .. drew blood.

I simply thoroughly cleaned the scratch and applied savlon and once DD was calm I found puss and gave her a cuddle too. DD never tail pulled again!

No need for a doctor (unless you see signs of infection), no need to rehome your cat.

SunshineCake · 20/08/2020 18:37

You don't need to rehome the cat Shock.

My cat scratched my six month old on the nose. My daughter was laid on the floor and I didn't see what happened. I put the cat out for a bit and sorted out baby. Didn't cross my mind to see a doctor or get rid of the cat.

Hopefully your baby can start to understand and I suspect the cat will stay much further away.

With kindness, you need to relax and not over react. Much worse things happen when you have a child and you need to be able to cope and not go 0-60 unnecessarily.

Bowerbird5 · 20/08/2020 18:38

Accidents happen. You won’t do it again. Put baby in the high chair with a couple of tiny bits of food. You don’t have to get rid of your cat just be more aware which I am sure you will now. Can the cat get through a stair gate because you could use one to give the cat a chance to escape to another room.

elenacampana · 20/08/2020 18:39

No need to rehome the cat. No need to take the baby to the Drs. I personally wouldn’t if the skin was broken either, but that’s just me.

The baby is learning not to f**k with cats, good life lesson!

Hellvelyn · 20/08/2020 18:40

You may want to consider rehoming, particularly if you think your cat might be stressed/unhappy in your home. When my dd was newborn our previously relaxed cat became stressed every time baby cried. One day dd was lying on her play mat, started crying, cat shot over and opened her mouth wide and leaned in towards dd - almost like she was going to pick up a kitten. Fortunately I was there straight away, so no harm but cat yowling and upset. By chance one of my colleagues was looking for a cat to keep her adult son with Downs Syndrome company at home. I didn't hesitate. I could focus on my dd without cat anxiety and cat was last heard of living the dream curled up with her new owner all day and prowling outside their farmhouse by night catching mice. Yes, you gave a home to your cat, but it might not be the right one any more.

WhatamessIgotinto · 20/08/2020 18:42

Oh and don't beat yourself up OP, it's just one of those things and your DD is fine.

Pud2 · 20/08/2020 18:42

Baby has learnt a lesson. If I bother the cat, it will scratch me. The first of many lessons that your child will learn. Don’t wrap in cotton wool or your child will become risk averse