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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cat scratched baby

201 replies

SideEyeing · 20/08/2020 17:54

Hi there,
Imagine I'm going to be flamed for letting the cat near DD (8m). Please be gentle, am feeling horrible.
We have a rather grumpy elderly cat who for the most part avoids DD. Unfortunately she adores him and now that she's newly crawling likes to follow him around when he occasionally ambles into the kitchen to eat. Normally he jumps on a table if she comes too close but today she managed to grab a handful of fur (I was trying to get her dinner sorted and took my eyes off. I realise I'm a massive dick and I feel uttetly shit😔) and he swiped her arm. He hasn't broken the skin but there's a white scratch mark. Do I need to see the doc? If he'd broken the skin there'd be no question, I'd take her to the walk in straight away.
I feel like the worst parent ever. I'm going to need to rehome the cat aren't I?
Fuck :(

OP posts:
Griselda1 · 20/08/2020 18:42

Cats and babies can be compatible and hopefully will become an important part of your babies life. Could their food be put at a higher level where the baby can't make contact. To be honest it's heartbreaking to think of a cat being rehomed for this reason and I'd reconsider that.

year5teacher · 20/08/2020 18:45

Don’t rehome the cat!!!! Just try and supervise them together.

uglyface · 20/08/2020 18:48

Honestly, don’t rehome the poor cat. Get lots of high up places ready that he can hide in, and work on teaching your daughter how to be gentle with him. Ours learnt by about 12 months that she wasn’t to chase or annoy our cats. Lots of grabbing her hands when she reaches for him and repeating ‘no, gently’ and she’ll get it. They understand way more than you think.

Our DD20mo and middle aged cat (her bother died earlier this year 😭) have a healthy respect for each other’s personal space, and it’s all fine. Perfectly possible.

Whenwillthisbeover · 20/08/2020 18:50

Whose going to want an elderly cat. Poor thing is probably creaky and aching and really doesn’t want to be shoved around. Honestly the baby will be fine. I hope the Rehome the cat brigade get old one day, Get knocked about by their family then stuck in a home just because they got a bit crabby in defence.

An animal is for life not just until you get a PFB.

Happygogoat · 20/08/2020 18:52

Give yourself a break OP.

You're not a dick. You don't need to get rid of the cat. You certainly don't need to go to the doctors for a cat scratch! Try to keep an eye but, life happens.

Try to relax and don't beat yourself up - she's crawling now but when she's walking/running in the garden there will be bumps and grazes galore. They're hardy little things.

MorganKitten · 20/08/2020 18:55

Getting a scratch might make her stop grabbing at him.

Viviennemary · 20/08/2020 18:58

It's unfortunate. But your child did attack the cat who was minding its own business. Just keep them apart in future.

Topseyt · 20/08/2020 19:00

Don't beat yourself up. Baby is fine, cat is fine. Baby just might also have learned a sharp lesson about leaving cat alone, although that isn't absolutely guaranteed of course. Experience can be a good teacher though.

My mother had a Siamese cat when I was a baby. I got the occasional scratch from him and I learned my lesson.

Same with my youngest daughter. My cat was only about a year old when she was born. I did watch them carefully, and they didn't interact that much, but she did get the odd scratch and she learned to leave the cat alone. Beyond that there were no problems and they got on just fine for the next almost 17 years. DD was devastated when the cat died of old age.

You don't need the doctor, and you don't need to re-home the cat. Cleaning the scratch and using savlon is fine.

MeredithGreysScalpel · 20/08/2020 19:01

You are massively overthinking this. It’s a non-event.

Sexnotgender · 20/08/2020 19:04

Don’t rehome your cat, unless it’s going to a friend who will look after him for the rest of his days you’ll condemn him to god knows what life in a rescue and he’ll probably be put down.

baremineral · 20/08/2020 19:05

@SideEyeing we have a cat. DS also adores her! He's 2 now but she still doesn't like to tolerate him at all! You just need to be more vigilant if cat and DD are in close proximity, your poor cat will have been shocked that DD grabbed their fur. We've been teaching DS to be very quiet and gentle around our cat and he seems to understand as time goes on Smile

hiphophippity · 20/08/2020 19:05

please don't think of rehoming your cat. You are really overreacting. Apart from pets being for life etc - which is obvious - they are brilliant within the home to teach your children empathy and patience. My DDs both learnt that the only way they could get anywhere near our skittish rescue cat was by being calm, gentle and quiet. What an amazing lesson to learn. And yes he swiped and scratched at times and they were all completely fine.

soruff · 20/08/2020 19:06

Babies often have near misses with all kinds of accidents. Falls are common. It is part of the lives of babies.
You should just get on with life. You will be watching carefully of course.
However, the cat has had it's chance. Any more trouble and it's gone!
Enjoy your baby.

oakleaffy · 20/08/2020 19:07

@SideEyeing

Thank you :( I've put savlon on. I adore our cat and he's generally been really tolerant to the new addition. Just feel like a dick for taking my eye off. She's never really had a cut before, let alone an animal scratch. I don't want to rehome him but she's so bloody quick now and going through majoe separation anxiety, I don't know how I 100% guarantee they won't cross paths.
There will be plenty more animal scratches and minor injuries , just part of growing up..also , how kids learn...and how we as first time parents learn! Little children are 'quick'... that is how they have accidents, lunging at animals, reaching for hot drinks when they couldn't reach that far a day or so ago.. One just has to be one step ahead, and sometimes that fails,..Eg, if you turn your back!
TheGoogleMum · 20/08/2020 19:08

The scratch didbt break the skin so no need to worry about that. Hopefully baby will learn to be careful of cat and cat will learn to stay away from baby and all will be well. I wouldn't be thinking of rehoming just yet!

Allergictoironing · 20/08/2020 19:08

The cat didnt even scratch the baby and if it really wanted to, it would have.

As others have said (including spinningaround72 as above), if the cat had intended to actually scratch the baby then blood would have been drawn. I'm guessing it was just a slap, and as many elderly cats have a problem keeping their claws short just the tip was poking out of the sheath.

roxfox · 20/08/2020 19:09

@Puffalicious

God, all these posts about keeping the baby away from the cat, that's bloody difficult! The cat does not trump a baby FFS! If the cat is a danger- get rid.
Thank goodness someone with some sense at last!!
Gottalovesummer · 20/08/2020 19:11

Please don't rehome your cat. Your daughter will learn how to be gentle around him and will grow up with love and respect for animals.

She won't have a chance of this if you rehome him. And he'll be utterly miserable in a shelter.

Whenwillthisbeover · 20/08/2020 19:12

It’s not a bloody danger for gods sake. It reacted to being tormented, as I would imagine any of us would if assaulted.

As PP have said, it’s a bloody non issue.

ktp100 · 20/08/2020 19:14

Your cat did about the best thing a cat can do in this instance, as in retaliating but with restraint. Hopefully your child got a shock and won't do it again but in the meantime just get some gates on the doors or a play pen for your child.

Please don't rehome the fur baby! That's a huge over-reaction.n Your baby is going to have many bumps and scrapes over the next few years. Furniture and the stairs pose a much bigger risk than the cat!

tillytoodles1 · 20/08/2020 19:17

Fuck me Puffalicious and roxfox, it's a cat, not a lion. OP needs to keep them apart, making sure the cat has somewhere safe to eat where the baby cant grab him.

Megan2018 · 20/08/2020 19:22

I have cats and hens and a horse and an 11 month old DD. She’s already been scratched and pecked-I do my best to keep them apart but growing up with animals is really healthy and a few war wounds is how they learn “gentle hands”.

Get a grip woman.

Sunrise234 · 20/08/2020 19:22

I've been scratched a million times by a cat and I've never caught cat scratch disease nor do I know anyone who ever has. My DC has also been scratched and bit many times - broken skin but they've been fine. I have a dettol spray so I wash it and spray that on and a bit of sudocrem on top as others have said.
As with any cuts or scrapes just keep an eye on it but as it's not broken the skin it will be fine anyway.

Ignore anyone saying get rid of the cat!
Your DC are going to fall off their bikes and graze their knees in the playground all the time - you can't wrap them in cotton wool.

whatswithtodaytoday · 20/08/2020 19:23

Babies will get scratched if they about the cat, and cats cannot be trained like dogs. The baby will learn.

Mine got scratched a couple of times when he first got on the move. He's now very wary of the cats and they all just keep out of each others' way. He loves to watch them, but from a distance!

MagicSummer · 20/08/2020 19:25

For goodness' sake - a tiny scratch which hasn't drawn blood and you are thinking of rehoming the poor animal? Words fail me.