Is it just me or is everyone else's child a genius?

[Pinkmakeupbag]

Maybe I am just bitter and jealous but it seems that everyone I meet, colleagues, relatives, friends, I even see it on here. Says that their child is exceptionally bright, advanced, top of the class, excelling academically. They all also tell me their children definitely could have gone to grammar school but chose not to.

I feel I'm the only mother with perfectly average children.

Don’t worry OP my kids and those of my friends and family are all pretty average. Don’t believe everything that parents write about their kids on Mumsnet/Facebook etc, because if it were all true well then being a genius would be the new average wouldn’t it?

People boasting about DC/GC is tiresome! But a good way of determining who to avoid.

An awful lot of MNetters’ kids are very skinny and so beautiful that people comment in the street, too..

I am a teacher. Many parents, usually the ones who love a good brag, think their kids are geniuses. I can tell you with 100% confidence that the majority of them are wrong. Their kids are usually average, just with a level of confidence that makes them think they dont need to work, so they usually end up slightly below average and then either pull their socks up and work, or they dont.

I promise you, not every kid is a genius.

@HoldMyLobster

I just looked it up, around 0.25% of people are genius. Around 1% have an IQ above 140. So really there can't be all these genius children.

So if (from a quick Google) MN has 119 million unique users, and each has one child, then 29,750 of their children are geniuses.

Clearly didn't think that through, but it must be a combination of qualities that make a genius which I believe must be very rare.

When chatting to others I usually talk about the best traits of the DC. One is academically bright, confident and very demonstrative but can be cheeky, interrupt and forget manners.
The other is hugely artistic, very attuned to people’s feelings and so polite and well behaved and she’s a teen!
She struggles academically though, has some social anxiety and doesn’t have the same street smarts as the youngest.
I often have a moan about their “bad bits” to close friends and family but wouldn’t neither put them down or overly brag about them.

Your children are unique OP, maybe average academically but they’ll have their own special traits. Academic intelligence isn’t everything.

Oh and if their kids aren’t exceptionally bright/well behaved it’s beca they are on the spectrum or have ADHD usually.

Ha ha love this !!! I love my kids but they are not geniuses. I love people who boast about their perfect kids on Facebook .... I must of missed out as most days I loose my shit . My daughter really lazy and my son bright ish but ruins it with his behaviour.

This thread is delightfully revealing; the OP has clearly stated that she wants to hear from parents whose children are of average ability. With that aim clearly stated some posters are still unable to hold back from bragging about their gifted children!

I have one properly, ridiculously exceptional child, and then a second one who is the total opposite and has never got anything remotely approaching "on target' on his school reports. Poor child is a top marks for effort, zero marks for attainment type. Its really odd, as everyone else in the family is academically strong. In typical Mumsnet fashiopn, he does have autism and sever dyspraxia though.

I don't tend to talk much about the exceptional one as it sounds twatty.

TBH, I'd trade the 2 extremes for 2 average kids. Parenting 2 polar opposites is stupidly hard.

I know a girl who grew up in an ordinary family, in a rented house, who has just sailed into Cambridge with 4Astars and an A.
The A is for a language she taught herself when the family went on their one foreign holiday.
She has worked since being 16 in MacDonalds. I'd say she is close to genius.
She isnt mine though!!

I have only ever met three people in my life who you could describe as truly gifted.

One was a friend of mine, a tortured genius and an exceptional abstract artist - Royal Academy exhibitions etc. He died of alcohol-related conditions some years ago.

One is a dancer who I first saw dance when he was at primary school. Mind-boggling natural talent. He is now a fast-rising star in the Royal Ballet.

The other was the wife of someone I worked with some years ago. Scarily bright. She is something very high up in the City looking into tax fraud.

I was the cleverest child in my infants class by miles. I could read and write at the age of four, never had to ask the teacher how to spell anything. I was reading library books because I'd finished all the Janet and John books when some of my classmates couldn't even read properly. Sadly, by the time I was half way through junior school, most of them had caught up with me and I was gutted.

Having a child and then bigging them up just seems to be a more socially acceptable way of vocally admiring your own genes - so admiring yourself, really.
Self-absorption, once removed.

It makes me feel a bit queasy.

Don't worry - my DS is 9 and has as much common sense as a flea and can't get maths. Lovely and capable in all kinds of other ways though!

I've also been a University lecturer, and like a PP can say I've maybe met a handful of students (out of hundreds) that I'd describe as "properly clever". Not one "genius"

Even amongst the staff, all of whom have PhDs, geniuses are in short supply. A few around the world that I've met whose brains truly can go where others can't. Everyone else is just very clever and works hard.

Gifted is something different than genius anyway, esp with 'gifted and talented' at school. There was a study done of gifted children over decades and they found that they did well, say, had professional jobs like lawyer or teacher, but few set the world on fire. In other words, they ended up similar to the non-gifted children who were bright and hard working.

@ThatLibraryMiss

They all also tell me their children definitely could have gone to grammar school but chose not to.

"Did she, aye."

To be fair that does happen, I've known children pass the 11+ (as in seen the results myself at work) who have chosen not to go but they are as rare as hen's teeth and usually for some extremely good reasons - twins where one got in and one didn't and the one who did didn't want to go without her twin.

Just to counter some of the doom and gloom, I work with a lot of very very intelligent academics who are happy, well-adjusted, pleasant people.

My daughter went to a grammar school. She was amongst the most high achieving in the country for GCSE and A Level results. That doesn’t in any way make her a better person than her sibling, nor does her subsequent ‘success’ trump her sibling’s arguably harder won (and still quite considerable) achievements.

I’d say that there’s a distinct lack of the totally average on mumsnet. every child is either a genius or non NT. where are the DC who get the D, E grades, fail their exams, screw up apprenticeships, fail 11+, don’t go to uni?

Op, I would so not fit in your office team......before parents evening I am the parent popping the kalms and wondering if I can have a sneaky gin to get through it!!!

My kids are not geniuses, they are not future sporting legends nor do they have any artistic talent but the youngest one makes a good cup of tea and we are hopeful we will find the eldest’s talent one day 🤣

billydilly - I’ve gone back and read the OPs posts as I was afraid I’d missed something. Nowhere does she say she only wanted to hear from people with “average” children.