To have bought DS these trainers for school?

[AveAtqueVale]

DS showed them to SIL on FaceTime earlier and once he'd gone she gave me and DH a massive lecture about how he'll be teased and bullied for such girly shoes. Tbh I'd thought they were fairly unisex? They fit the school brief of 'mainly white,' and his teacher's brief of 'please no laces' anyway. Is purple now off limits to boys as well as pink?! He's six, he likes shiny things, and picked these himself out of 3 or 4 pairs I showed him.

I've been stewing on this all evening (clearly). To clarify, I'm not actually worried he'll be bullied. Just more wondering if my judgement is totally skewed!

Absolutely fine for a 6 yr old boy. I thought everyone had got over “pink is for girls” and “blue is for boys” years ago.

They look fine for a six year old. Depending on the reflection of the shinny bits as if a slight pinkish (or soft lilac) tone then these shoes would possibly best suit a girl. However I believe purple as a colour is unisex (and so is pink if combined with a contrasting dark colour say navy blue, dark grey and plain non flowery design etc). The overall design of these shoes though unisex would probably look better worn by a girl. Conversely it seems fine for girls to wear more masculine sporty shoes and clothing but not for boys to wear more unisex stuff! For a six year old boy these shoes are fine. If anything I think six year old girls tend to have more aesthetic attention to detail on design detail and appearance than boys in any case. Six year old boys and girls should not be so discerning nor judgemental! Only six not sixteen!

If your DS is happy in them then I think that is all that matters. I don’t think they’re too girly at all

@ifhedoesntlikeithecanstuffit love that little story! I used to teach a boy who loved anything sparkly. On non uniform day, he wore a sparkly top that was likely marketed at girls. Another boy slightly mockingly asked "why are you wearing a sparkly tshirt?" He said "I like it" and went to play somewhere else. He couldn't care less because he liked his top. We should do everything we can to give all children this kind of confidence to express themselves and screw what other people think. We won't do that by saying "no, you can't wear those shoes because some people might think they're for girls."

Sorry, but they are what will be seen as girly.

It absolutely should not be a thing, but it will take one comment from a horrid kid...

I think your ds will love wearing the shoes he chose. I think most children would like them.

Good grief. They'll be filthy soon enough, then the 'girliness' will be obliterated.
They're fine.

This thread is nuts. They’re shoes - if they fit & he likes them you’re on to a winner.

My mind is blown by suggestions that purple is ok because it is a unisex colour ALL colours are just colours & not indicative of the sex of the wearer.

Sorry I would worry about bullying. I know we are supposed to be blind to all this but unfortunately the other kids at school won't be. I'd pick up another pair for a few quid from a supermarket and keep those ones special for non-school things.

I would put a 6yr boy in them but not to sure about the white is it for PE

Umm they’re white. How are people seeing lilac? And the coloured bits look more blue to me than purple. They look absolutely fine to me OP and what matters is he likes them. I don’t think a bunch of 6yo’s are gonna notice tbh.

If your son likes them then so be it.
He might or might not get comments from his peers, who knows?
I might have dissuaded my son from choosing them but I would have explained , as simply as I could, why some children might comment on his choice.
I wish that I was more of a free thinker but I work in a school and I know what children say.

Bullying will not be improved by pandering to stupid dipshits who care about shoes.

Teaching kids to be afraid of what some other kids say about their clothes seems so depressing.

My kids often looked 'distinctive' but never got bullied. The victim isn't responsible, whatever shoes they wear.

I like them, our lad would have also picked them when he was 6, his favourite colour is purple .. now he won't go anywhere unless he is in Nike Airforce 1s!

I know my Granddaughter would choose them but my Grandson wouldn't.

Will his willy fall off if he wears them? If no, then obviously they are fine. It is this "girls" shoes bullshit that makes people feel they are in the wrong body for liking something that is for someone of the opposite sex.

I was lucky that my sons went to a primary school that had a lot of male teachers who wore pink shirts, or pink ties, or pink polo shirts. We had several female staff with short hair. It meant all this crap about pink is for girls and cut your hair if you are a boy was swiftly shut down with real life examples for the children to see how ridiculous it is to perpetuate these opinions that very clearly come from their parents.

I like soldaritea’s attitude (and username ). All he should have to say is “I like them”. I think adults worry a lot more than the kids at that age, and after all where do they get these attitudes from but the adults. He has good taste too (or perhaps poor if it matches mine!)

Blargh I wrote a big post and lost it. Am concluding I am NBU to have bought them but nor is SIL to think they look a bit girly!

He had proper all white ones last year but seemed to be the only one - everyone else had splashes of colour. Was going to get the white ones from M&S but they're lace-ups for size 13 onwards. These are from eBay and came up on a search for 'white boys trainers'. I showed him a couple of plain white pairs, an

a pair from Sainsbury's with bits of blue that he liked, but were sold out in his size. And a pair with bits of black that he didn't like. I showed him these because I thought he'd like the shininess, but don't think I pushed them on him!!

If he does get bullied for wearing these it's because clearly other parents - plenty on this thread! Teach their kids certain colours are for certain genders - ridiculous state of affairs ! It's 2020 - the parents need to grow up!

They're not white. They're also from the girl's section...

I think they look girlie. While I get he picked them and likes them. If other kids start to tease and it only takes one kid to comment you could find hes put off them. Which leaves you stuck with shoes he doesn't want to wear.

I'd come up with a reason to exchange them.

@Amum89

If he does get bullied for wearing these it's because clearly other parents - plenty on this thread! Teach their kids certain colours are for certain genders - ridiculous state of affairs ! It's 2020 - the parents need to grow up!

Agree.

He's in a very nice class so doubt they'll make comments, but I don't think he'd care either way.

All this fucking 'girls shoes' nonsense.

Ridiculous.

I swear it's PARENTS who are holding back equality.

You seem a bit fixated on him likely "shiny things". They're school PE trainers 🤷🏻‍♀️ Can't he get his shiny fix elsewhere?