To have bought DS these trainers for school?

[AveAtqueVale]

DS showed them to SIL on FaceTime earlier and once he'd gone she gave me and DH a massive lecture about how he'll be teased and bullied for such girly shoes. Tbh I'd thought they were fairly unisex? They fit the school brief of 'mainly white,' and his teacher's brief of 'please no laces' anyway. Is purple now off limits to boys as well as pink?! He's six, he likes shiny things, and picked these himself out of 3 or 4 pairs I showed him.

I've been stewing on this all evening (clearly). To clarify, I'm not actually worried he'll be bullied. Just more wondering if my judgement is totally skewed!

Yes, they're girly looking. Not just the colour but the whole shape of the shoes too. He might get away with it st 6 though.

OP just checked. The trainers are listed as girls trainers...

Jesus christ. They're shoes. Not girl shoes, not boy, shoes - shoes.

Unless people are now getting trainers which a special section that fits their penis, I really fail to see what the problem is with a six year old - boy, girl, or other, wearing these.

@Bbq1 yeah the listing does say girls first. Then 'kids children boys' - so just assumed that was the usual eBay word soup to get hits rather than an indication of who could wear them.

And @jessstan2 it wasn't DH - DS was excited because we'd just chosen them and wanted us to send her a picture. His cousin was showing DH her new uniform for Reception so I think he just wanted to join in with the back to school chat!

Oh come on.

They are girls‘ shoes. It would be lovely if everything was rosy and small children were tolerant but in the real world, if you make him stand out, someone is eventually going to give him a hard time for it. Wish it wasn’t the case, if course, but it was ever thus.

I would do almost anything to protect my daughters from the misery of being bullied. In my school (north east Scotland, inner city, not a leafy middle class London suburb) a boy wearing those trainers might as we have walked in with a bloody target on his back.

My son is in a boy's school and loads have much more "feminine" colours. This has become absolutely crazy.

My son would love those and I'd buy them for him.

Everyone saying "in the real world" etc - you are the problem with the "real world", just shut up and then it won't be like that will it? 🙄

How ridiculous! My sons could wear these, no problems. Actually, my son (7) has a pair of spangly silver boots that he wears everywhere and gets only positive comments. Your SiL and others who fuss about this say they are worried about bullying but actually they are the oppressors!

They're fine, they're trainers, they meet the requirements, he likes them. No problem.

They're not girls' trainers because the person who chose them and who's going to be wearing them is a boy so they're boy's trainers.

I’m actually by some of the comments on here. Actual adults thinking that a boy can’t wear shoes with a little bit of purple. I teach this age group and if a child said something that ridiculous we’d be having a talk as a class. In summer term our school was non-uniform because of Covid and DS got some new socks in a range of colours. He wore purple (& pink) as well as all the others and nobody - absolutely nobody - commented on it.

I would do almost anything to protect my daughters from the misery of being bullied.

I understand the instinct but think it is better to put the energy into being confident rather than trying not to be bullied. If you try not to get bullied, it implies it is somehow the victim's fault and it makes them second-guess everything they do.

They just look like trainers to me; white with a bit of blueish mauve. Quite unisex.

I don't get it. They look fine for a boy. Jesus wept, it's the 21st century, MN, it's not a tutu. If he's going into Reception, he'll be fine. 15 and his friends might comment but 4? Not so much.

Anyone seen the fluorescent pink Nike Vaporflys? Worn by both Men and Women. Running shoes for adults are either carefully colour co-ordinated or chosen for fit and price with zero regard for colour depending on the personality of the owner.

White trainers in general would not be my first choice because they get dirty really quickly if used for their intended purpose, but obviously you have no choice about that...

And we wonder why toxic masculinity is so prevalent.

As my 4 year old says ‘everything is for everybody’.

Unless the trainers are designed to be worn on a vagina, they’re not just for girls

No one will comment. And if they do, teach your son to say ‘colours are for everyone’.

Yeah they look like penis chafers to me.

My nearly 14 yo has a pair of Adidas trackies with a purple and pink stripe on the back, he picked them.

All the older kids round are wearing bright/unisex colours, looks like 80s ski wear!

To answer your question though, no I don't think they're too 'girly' at all and if he likes them that's all that matters!

Not forgetting the fact he's 6!

Other PPs, if there are kids out there bullying their classmates about sodding trainers, we know why. Sort yourselves out.

Exactly, it’s learnt from somewhere.

And we wonder why toxic masculinity is so prevalent

This. This thread is fucking depressing.

He's 6. They're fine. The thought of him being so excited over his new trainers is so sweet and the thought of him being told he can't wear them because "boys can't wear purple" is so sad.

Actual adults thinking that a boy can’t wear shoes with a little bit of purple

As others have said, it's them which are the problem here. There's no requirement to have a vagina before wearing an item of clothing with a colour on the "feminine" spectrum. What a load of bullshit. Shame on you all. It's unbelievably depressing that kids are clearly being taught this shit at home. Still. In this day and age.

"It shouldn't matter but in the real world it does" is also bullshit. This stuff doesn't actually matter to kids as young as this, they learn their attitudes from their parents. So it only matters to them if they have been taught to care. Love the attitude from RefuseTheLies child - "everything is for everyone" - these are the values we should be instilling in our children.

Let him enjoy his new trainers, OP.

The Y1 and Y2 children I work with wouldn't see those as girls trainers and definitely wouldn't say anything negative about them.

Interestingly the parents of last years nursery children didn't stick to pink for girls and blue form boys.

They are not mainly white. They are more girls style but age 6 no one will notice.

At six no one is going to bully him. Plus those shoes won’t stay pristine white for long.

They are ‘girls’ shoes.

You might not be worried he’ll be bullied, I’d hope not, but I’ve been surprised at how boys from as young as 4 seem to gravitate towards the more ‘typical’ boys, and even the nicest boys tend to ignore other lovely boys who like rainbows and pink things. It’s just a small sample I’ve observed so not saying that’s the way it always is.

I wouldn’t personally have given him those shoes in the 3 or 4 you offered, as why invite bullying even if you think there’s only a small chance of it.

@OnTheFencePaint

They are ‘girls’ shoes.

You might not be worried he’ll be bullied, I’d hope not, but I’ve been surprised at how boys from as young as 4 seem to gravitate towards the more ‘typical’ boys, and even the nicest boys tend to ignore other lovely boys who like rainbows and pink things. It’s just a small sample I’ve observed so not saying that’s the way it always is.

I wouldn’t personally have given him those shoes in the 3 or 4 you offered, as why invite bullying even if you think there’s only a small chance of it.

This is so ironic. So boys "gravitate" towards boy things but you and other posters talk about "encouraging " and making him pick/wear different ones.

It's the parents not the children.