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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have bought DS these trainers for school?

274 replies

AveAtqueVale · 18/08/2020 22:17

DS showed them to SIL on FaceTime earlier and once he'd gone she gave me and DH a massive lecture about how he'll be teased and bullied for such girly shoes. Tbh I'd thought they were fairly unisex? They fit the school brief of 'mainly white,' and his teacher's brief of 'please no laces' anyway. Is purple now off limits to boys as well as pink?! Confused He's six, he likes shiny things, and picked these himself out of 3 or 4 pairs I showed him.

I've been stewing on this all evening (clearly). To clarify, I'm not actually worried he'll be bullied. Just more wondering if my judgement is totally skewed!

To have bought DS these trainers for school?
To have bought DS these trainers for school?
OP posts:
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5
ILoveFood87 · 18/08/2020 22:58

I don't think they are okay for a 6 year old boy OP. Your choice though.

Hermanfromguesswho · 18/08/2020 22:58

They are mainly white. They are not particularly girly and they are absolutely fine for a 6 year old! I work eith children that age and he won’t get teased over that tiny hint of purple!!!

Emeraldshamrock · 18/08/2020 22:58

They're fine if he likes them. I would say they were girls trainers.

ShyTown · 18/08/2020 22:58

The biggest issue is that they may not meet the uniform guidelines of ‘mostly white’ and you could get told to buy new ones. Other than that, they are obviously from the girls section but that shouldn’t matter if he likes them.

AliTheMinx · 18/08/2020 22:59

I think they do look a little girly, and probably wouldn't have bought them for my son. Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, OP!

KenAdams · 18/08/2020 23:00

My DD wouldn't wear them as she'd think them too girly

rosesandcashmere · 18/08/2020 23:01

If he likes them fine. I would say girls but it's not really relevant what I or anyone else thinks. What I am concerned about is she said no laces - there are laces under that Velcro

Halo1234 · 18/08/2020 23:01

They are girlie. He can prob get away with it at 6years old. But an older kid might not be so lucky. kids are brutally honest so his pals might ask why he is wearing girls shoes.
I dont think the world is far away from this not being an issue (it shouldn't be) but were aren't there yet. So in the interest of making his life easy I would have gave him a choice out truly unisex/boy ones. The playground can be tough enough with out having to explain why you are a boy in girls shoes (i know it shouldn't matter/be noticed/a shoe is a shoes). Your sil ment well.

ifhedoesntlikeithecanstuffit · 18/08/2020 23:03

They don't look girly to me at all! They look white with a few purple bits? I would absolutely say they were fine.

And I don't think 6 year olds will pick up on that anyway - 8/9 maybe but younger kids just go with the flow.

DS had a pair of proper girly pink fluffy snowboots at that age, or a bit older. I ordered them for DD but they were too big so he took a shine to them. He wore them to school once when the weather was bad and one boy noticed and said - 'your boots are pink' and he said yes I know and that was it. Never mentioned again.

He'll be fine!

BadDucks · 18/08/2020 23:03

I wouldn’t say they were “mostly white” but if he likes them that’s fine. There is every chance some kid will comment that they are girls shoes but If he won’t care then you shouldn’t either.

namechangetheworld · 18/08/2020 23:04

I'd be interested to know what the other pairs of shoes you showed him were like. Did you show him some typical 'boys' ones too, to give him a choice, or were they all in a similar vein?

They look like typical 'girls' shoes and I think you know that. It shouldn't matter, but unfortunately the world is a shitty place sometimes.

BluebellsGreenbells · 18/08/2020 23:04

Kids are cruel. They will notice and they will comment.
Empowering him to ignore them is one way and probably the best long term strategy

Yes because it’s always the victims fault. How about parents teaching their kids to be kind instead?

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 18/08/2020 23:05

As long as parents think in girls and boys terms, see this as an issue,are afraid of and teach their own kids to be afraid of it there's no chance in hell that anything will change.

All you're doing is reinforcing stereotypes and set limits to what your child can like,wear,play with based on their sex.

FrenchtoEnglish · 18/08/2020 23:06

Jesus ! The comments on here! We're all doomed. No wonder we're in such a mess when it comes to equality of the sexes when grown adults are saying a six year old has picked the wrong fucking coloured trainers. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. OP, help your kid to stick to his choices. He's got flair. Other PPs, if there are kids out there bullying their classmates about sodding trainers, we know why. Sort yourselves out.

solidaritea · 18/08/2020 23:07

He likes them. All that matters here.

If there are unkind comments about them, the children making them need to be challenged so they don't grow up with ridiculous ideas about pieces of fabric or colours signifying a particular sex.

Gingerkittykat · 18/08/2020 23:08

Get a grip people, they are shoes. The boy won't be emasculated by wearing a bit of lilac. The pink/blue nonsense causes so many problems by making kids think they need to conform.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 18/08/2020 23:10

Bet people would think these are girly too. Oh wait.. they're boys trainers.

www.irumaldives.com/009-adidas-originals-superstar-boys-trainers-white1-white-white-6542.html

M0mmyneedswine · 18/08/2020 23:10

They look like they are from the girls section to me but if he likes them that doesn't matter but they are not 'mostly white '

napmeistergeneral · 18/08/2020 23:11

It's all cyclical anyway. Not so long ago pink was for boys, blue for girls:

For example, a June 1918 article from the trade publication Earnshaw's Infants' Department said, “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”
www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/

Maybe I'm naive but nothing about this dort of utterly meaningless and restrictive sex stereotyping will change if not challenged.

I'd like my kids to feel confident enough to wear what they actually like and be robust enough to deal with silly comments about girl colours or whatever else. We'll see...

latticechaos · 18/08/2020 23:12

I honestly don't see the issue. They are trainers, they are fine.

I'm sick of this bullshit tbh, it's 2020, if some idiotic adult still thinks trainers matter they need a hobby.

angelikacpickles · 18/08/2020 23:13

There is no white whatsoever on those shoes - they are grey and purple?

Ameliablue · 18/08/2020 23:13

I feel like I am looking at totally different pictures to most of the other commenters. They are mainly white with a bit of psychedelic and blue highlights. Don't see them as girly at all.

cinders222 · 18/08/2020 23:13

If I saw them I would think they were aimed at girls, in saying that I think children should wear what they want. But I got my little girl a plain black jacket for school (unisex), she wore it one day and a little girl said she was wearing a boys jacket and was really upset by it. She was 5 at time so children do make comment

AuntyPasta · 18/08/2020 23:16

I don’t think they for the ‘mainly white’ thing. The soles are lilac.

latticechaos · 18/08/2020 23:16

Aaarrrggghhh the word 'girly' makes me itchy!