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Step son allergic to cat

383 replies

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 19:14

DSS has developed an allergy to our cats (2). It's only a recent thing in the last year, he never seemed to have a problem before.

DH is determined that we are rehoming them. I don't want to.

His argument is that his son is suffering and he's not having it. Which I understand, however, my argument is that DSS is always letting them sleep on his bed!

I've said time and time again we need to keep the bedroom door closed. I've gone to buy night lights so we can close the door at night, I've said I'll wash the sheets more regularly (just do them after normal amount of time atm) and was going to go this weekend to buy a 'top sheet' which we could put over each morning and take off each night to keep the sheets underneath fresh.

However, neither DH or DSS ever remember to close the bedroom door and so every day when I go past after they've got up or DSS has been in his room, the cat goes on the bed and then DSS suffers.

I don't know what to do. It really doesn't sit right with me just getting rid of an animal we committed to having (and which I love and the kids do too) before we've actually made an effort to do something about it i.e. being vigilant with keeping the bedroom doors closed.

He's now suggested we get an insulated shed in the garden with a few cat beds, blankets etc... And see if the cats will sleep in there at night and not let them in the house anymore.

I don't want SS to be ill but at the same time I feel like no one is making any effort to help themselves and every suggestion I make is just shot down with 'we won't remember to do that' or 'it just won't work'. I feel like he just wants the easy way out which is to get rid of them.

I don't want to re-home them.

OP posts:
chocolatespiders · 16/08/2020 22:27

Agree with acrossthepond
This spray from Boots contains that ingredient which we find helpful.

Step son allergic to cat
CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:28

No I can't be 100% sure as he hasn't been tested. There is nothing new in his room. His bed does get covered in cat hairs though as he always let's them sleep on there at night which is why DH has assumed it's that.

I'm going to gut his room next time he's not staying and just wash absolutely everything I can put in a washing machine, I'll get the carpet cleaner out etc... And have a good dust and things too see if it makes any difference.

OP posts:
CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:29

@chocolatespiders

Agree with acrossthepond This spray from Boots contains that ingredient which we find helpful.
Thank you
OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 16/08/2020 22:32

Steam clean his mattress and wash or replace his pillow, then when you put it back on the bed try using 2 or 3 sheets and pillowcases.

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:35

@Thelnebriati

Steam clean his mattress and wash or replace his pillow, then when you put it back on the bed try using 2 or 3 sheets and pillowcases.
Thank you. I'm looking at an anti allergy pillow online now which I might order, just in case.
OP posts:
mum11970 · 16/08/2020 22:35

Cats generally don’t like citrus smells, a citrus smelling air freshener may put the cat off going in the room.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 16/08/2020 22:39

@CatNappers

No I can't be 100% sure as he hasn't been tested. There is nothing new in his room. His bed does get covered in cat hairs though as he always let's them sleep on there at night which is why DH has assumed it's that.

I'm going to gut his room next time he's not staying and just wash absolutely everything I can put in a washing machine, I'll get the carpet cleaner out etc... And have a good dust and things too see if it makes any difference.

Have you changed washing powder or fabric conditioner?

It could be anything related to his bedroom really, not even the cats. Especially since you say it happens at mum's too. What is he reacting to at his mum's?

How is your relationship with his mum? Could you talk to her and see if she'll get him tested?

Or would she just blame the cats too and reduce/deny contact until they are gone?

LilaButterfly · 16/08/2020 22:42

DS has an allergy to our dogs. Its just minor and like your SS he was sneezing at night when sleeping with the dogs in his room. We were told to rehome them by the doctor, but we decoded to try other things first.
Dogs arent allowed in his bedroom anymore. We have a baby gate at the door that closes automatically
Clothes go directly in the laundry at night instead of dumping them somewhere in his room.
Bedroom door shut day and night.
I vacuum twice a day.
He washes his hands after cuddling/playing with the dogs.
He is much better now and you cant even tell hes allergic. Sometimes he goes overboard with the cuddling and buries his face in their coat. Thats the only time he starts sneezing.
I have a dog hair allergy myself and its very manageable. If anything it improved over the years we had the dogs.
If the allergy was really bad or it gets a lot worse in the future you shod obviously think about rehoming them.

ineedaholidaynow · 16/08/2020 22:45

Did you say he also seemed to suffer slightly at his mum's?

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:46

What is he reacting to at his mum's?

We believe he has hayfever, if we are out and it is particularly warm/pollen count is up he can get sniffy and itchy eyes. This obviously happens at both houses and we do give him anti histamines for this if we are going anywhere and we suspect it'll be set off, me and his dad have hayfever too so we always take them before going out in summer especially.

Im not sure what else could be setting it off at his mum's, he just said he is like this there too just not as bad as here. His mum doesn't have cats. She does have a dog but as far as I know he doesn't sleep with the dog and she's had him for a long long time.

I get on with her okay to say hello to at drop offs etc.. but I don't speak to her directly about anything to do with the children, I don't have her number or anything.

I really don't think she'd stop him coming, it is very mild and we (I) are trying to reduce it.

OP posts:
DustbinTimberlake · 16/08/2020 22:46

My son was very very sadly allergic to a new kitten (he was 3). We had to rehome the kitten - DS had hives round his face, and wheezing/coughing. I asked advice from the vet, the GP, the shelter, but in the end it was the only thing to do.

StraffeHendrik · 16/08/2020 22:49

Stair gate to keep the cats out of upstairs??

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:50

DS had hives round his face, and wheezing/coughing

If this were happening I would say we too would have to re-home. At the moment it is very mild in comparison to this, he has never had hives, he never wheezes or coughs. It is literally a runny nose, the odd sneeze and his eyes itch a little.

OP posts:
CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:50

And that's only when he is in bed, not just the house in general.

OP posts:
CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:51

@StraffeHendrik

Stair gate to keep the cats out of upstairs??
I thought about this but tbh they'd just jump over it.
OP posts:
CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:52

@mum11970

Cats generally don’t like citrus smells, a citrus smelling air freshener may put the cat off going in the room.
Thank you, I'll grab something citrusy from the shop tomorrow.
OP posts:
BrandNewShinyThings · 16/08/2020 22:54

I don't think you've answered re antihistamine? My 11 yr old takes one daily (tablet) for his hayfever, I really think it would help.

quizqueen · 16/08/2020 22:56

Swap the kids' bedrooms round and encourage the cat to sleep with your own kids!

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:57

@quizqueen

Swap the kids' bedrooms round and encourage the cat to sleep with your own kids!
I've already said they share a room and none of the children are mine.

I haven't encouraged the cats to sleep anywhere. The kids have always taken them into their room to sleep, that's where they go now because that's where they have always slept.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 16/08/2020 22:59

You could fit an automatic closer on his bedroom door so its never left open. That would give you time to see if "no cats on bed" makes a difference but TBH I don't think it will. DSS must be breathing in cat dander in all the downstairs rooms too.

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 22:59

@BrandNewShinyThings

I don't think you've answered re antihistamine? My 11 yr old takes one daily (tablet) for his hayfever, I really think it would help.
I wasn't sure about giving a child that age one every day. We do give him one if we are going outside especially in summer and we think his hayfever will be set off but we haven't tried it daily.
OP posts:
seventhrow · 16/08/2020 23:02

Some really horrible comments here from people saying rehome the cats the kid comes first, without reading or considering the OPs extra info about it being pretty mild and the DSS wilfully exacerbating it.

OP - keep your darling kitties!! Poor things. Do everything you can to make this work xxx

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 23:02

@2bazookas

You could fit an automatic closer on his bedroom door so its never left open. That would give you time to see if "no cats on bed" makes a difference but TBH I don't think it will. DSS must be breathing in cat dander in all the downstairs rooms too.
If it doesn't, it doesn't. At least we can say we tried though.

And I'd agree about the dander but he is fine everywhere else in the house. Tbh the cats don't really go on the sofas or anything, they are mainly outside in the day and just sleep in the kids rooms.

OP posts:
CatNappers · 16/08/2020 23:10

What do people think about the shed idea? I'm just looking into it now in case.

We have a big enough garden for a decent size one. If I were going to do it I'd do it properly so it was insulated, full of lots of beds and blankets with a cat flap for them for during the day too a d some shelves for climbing. Would also mean that me/the kids could spend some time in there with them too.

OP posts:
Elieza · 16/08/2020 23:14

If you can restrict access to the upper level of the house temporarily to see if it makes a difference you won’t need a shed.